"Portrait of a Family" by Arthur Devis‘Wasteheart’ by David Whippman The Society July 13, 2018 Beauty, Poetry 8 Comments The precious are so easy to neglect: I let them down, my family and my friends. It’s futile if I offer my respect – Today is much too late to make amends. Nothing is left for me to do or say. The fact is: my priorities were wrong. So much affection simply poured away: I see that now; why did it take so long? My time, my love: I squandered them, instead Of using them. It can’t be altered now; most of those I should have loved are dead. The waste of it all: how could I allow The waves of my emotions to break and roar Upon a distant and irrelevant shore? David Whippman is a British poet, now retired after a career in healthcare. Over the years he’s had quite a few poems, articles and short stories published in various magazines. Related Post ‘Letter to England: For Tommy Robinson’ by Josep... I. But yesterday, your noble fathers bled Upon the fields of France, where countless dead Had found among the vines their final rest, To gild with... Tell the world:FacebookTwitterTumblrPinterestRedditLinkedInEmail 8 Responses Joseph Tessitore July 13, 2018 Beautiful, powerful poem! Well done, David! Reply Dave Whippman July 15, 2018 Thanks Joseph. Reply C.B. Anderson July 13, 2018 David, I hope that your life is not as grim as you have let on. I, too, have acted much too late in similar circumstances, but that’s water under the bridge, and, as always, we move on, if only to confront our loved ones in the afterlife, where everything is forgiven. After all, we are only human. Reply Dave Whippman July 15, 2018 Thanks CB. Yes, we have to see the glass half full, and think of whatever good we have managed. That said, regrets are part of being human, I think. But no, I would say all in all things have worked out ok for me – with a few hassles along the way! Reply Mark Stone July 13, 2018 David, Hello. Here are my comments. 1. I would put a period at the end of L1 and L7. 2. I very much like the sound of L3 & L4 because of their assonance and consonance. 3. I don’t think you need a colon in L6. 4. If you wanted to make the last 6 lines more consistently IP, here is one way. My suggested changes are in full caps. My time, my love: I squandered them, instead Of using them, AND MUCH TO MY REGRET, most of those I should have loved are dead. A TOTAL waste. I DON’T KNOW how I LET The waves of my emotions break and roar Upon a FAR, INCONSEQUENTIAL shore? 5. A sad poem, but well crafted. Reply Dave Whippman July 15, 2018 Thanks Mark for a detailed and thoughtful critique. Punctuation is always a moot point in poetry isn’t it? For example, the school of thought that says the end of a line can itself be regarded as a comma or whatever. The change you suggest is structurally sound, but I am not sure it reads better. For me, “much to my regret” sounds a little too detached (I suppose that’s the word) for this piece. But really there is no right or wrong in this – any poem could be changed, and that’s part of the fun! Reply Satyananda Sarangi July 14, 2018 Greetings! The poem is powerful owing to its realistic tone. I must confess that this is one of the finer poems I have read of late. Regards Reply Dave Whippman July 15, 2018 Thanks Satyananda, glad you liked the poem. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.