A Cut Above

Why shouldn’t Nancy break a lockdown rule
To bless us with her chestnut-tress finesse?
As Speaker of the House she’d look a ghoul
If cameras focused on an un-coiffed mess.

They’ve warned us of the ills of manicures,
The perils of a perm or tint and trim.
They’ve told us to avoid all vain allures;
The preen and primp of parlors is a sin.

But if your name’s Pelosi you’re exempt
From hellish, hairy, tell-tale roots of snow.
In days of plague it pays to stay unkempt,
Though Nancy doesn’t heed these words of woe.

When caught mid-pamper (minus mask and shame)
Pursuing sassy-sable, blow-out beauty,
She said that her hairdresser takes full blame;
For she was dyeing in the line of duty.

 

 

Susan Jarvis Bryant is a church secretary and poet whose homeland is Kent, England.  She is now an American citizen living on the coastal plains of Texas.  Susan has poetry published in the UK webzine, Lighten Up On Line, The Daily Mail, and Openings (anthologies of poems by Open University Poets).

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30 Responses

    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you, Russel. I must give a nod to Nancy Pelosi who set herself up for a poem… I just swooped down and took all she had to offer. LOL

      Reply
  2. Cindy Erlandson

    Nice job, Susan, especially the last line! At least some of us still have a sense if humor.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much, Cindy. I firmly believe a sense of humor is the only thing keeping most of us sane in an increasingly crazy world.

      Reply
      • Norma Okun

        I cannot see why Pelosi thinks she has a right to do things she has told others not to do. All beauty salons are closed. No business. You put it well in your poem.

      • Susan Jarvis Bryant

        Norma, thank you for dropping by to read my poem and for your observation. The reason Nancy Pelosi can request a hair salon to open just for her, and the reason she can go without a mask, is because there’s one rule for elitist politicians and another for everybody else. This is why people are skeptical on the mask-wearing front. If Nancy Pelosi and every elitist politician flouting the mask rule (and every other rule they’ve put in place for us) thought for one minute these rules were life-saving, they would be leading by example. I truly believe they’re lying, as usual. It’s wicked and it’s sad. These lies have ruined many lives… more lives that Covid has or will.

    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much, Joe. I appreciate the fine eye of a fellow poet who knows the significance of drawing attention to political hypocrisy and ridiculousness in rhyme.

      Reply
  4. Jeff Eardley

    Susan, Wow, you’ve done it again. That last line is the punchiest of punch lines. Was Ms. Pelosi caught on a camera? The hypocrisy of some of our leaders these days is breathtaking. Thank you again for yet another “gritty” and thoroughly enjoyable piece.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much for your lovely comments, Jeff. Yes, Ms. Pelosi was caught on camera and is responsible for blaming the entire sorry saga on her hairdresser. Somehow, she was “set up”. While telling others to mask up, avoid salons, and shut up, she was duped into visiting her salon and wasn’t told to wear a mask. Apparently, if your name is Nancy Pelosi, personal responsibility is a hindrance to perfect hair… so why bother?

      Reply
  5. Julian D. Woodruff

    Alas, though dying, Ms. P was saved by a hair.
    Sparkling as ever, Susan.
    Maybe she should hire you as a speech writer–lol.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you, Julian. If I wrote Nancy’s speeches, I wouldn’t need a hairdresser – I think she’d scalp me… oops, I might have got her mixed up with Elizabeth Warren. LOL

      Reply
  6. Joseph S. Salemi

    It staggers belief that Pelosi actually had the nerve to blame her hairdresser for this faux pas!

    If you want to know why white working-class people HATE liberal elitist scum, just ponder the arrogant sense of privilege and entitlement that Pelosi has demonstrated, by this thoughtless contempt for a working-class woman.

    Pelosi is what in America we call a “limousine liberal.” In the UK such persons are called “champagne socialists.” In France such types are called “gauche caviar,” and in Germany “Salonkommunist.”

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Dr. Salemi, thank you for your highly entertaining comment. I had obviously heard of the “Champagne socialist”, but the rest have been an education. “Salonkommunist” appears to be the one most suiting to Pelosi. I will admit to being so angry at this situation that writing a humorous poem gave me mild relief. I’ve quelled the flare of anger, but I’m still fuming, nevertheless.

      Reply
  7. Rod Walford

    Love it Susan How I wish you could get this onto The President’s desk … He would have a field day with it!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much, Yael. I think all the news should be written in rhyming couplets – not only will it be more entertaining, it’s bound to be more truthful.

      Reply
  9. Sally Cook

    Oh, Susan – I can see why you are so busy !
    No matter, when you can keep turning out these little political gems. I am thrilled to see this surge on your part.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much for your appreciation and support, Sally. It means a lot!

      Reply
  10. james sale

    I have to ask myself why – except on this occasion – I always see Pelosi with a scarf around her neck? Is it because at her advanced age she is susceptible to colds and chills? Or, is it because at her advanced age she wants to make a fashion statement? Or, is it because she simply doesn’t want to reveal her scrawny neck and what that reveals? I think in the interests of ‘equality’ and given Biden is about the same age, that all Democratic candidates over 70 ought to be wearing scarves round their necks; otherwise, we might conclude that Pelosi is a woman and women are ‘different’ from men when it comes to how they appear. Jeez, how could that be? A wonderful poem, Susan – your last line is sublimely funny: For she was dyeing in the line of duty. ‘Dyeing’ is just perfect!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      James, I love your observations on the scarf. It exposes so much on the contentious subject of identity politics and begs for a poem. LOL. Thank you too for your appreciation.

      Reply
  11. Martin Rizley

    Very clever and classy political commentary in verse, done with grace and skill and wry humor. I love the play on words in the last line!

    Reply
  12. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    Martin, thank you for dropping by and thank you for your lovely comments. I think political commentary in verse is a lot more effective than any newspaper article these strange days. Let’s keep the public informed in rhyme and rhythm. 🙂

    Reply
  13. Margaret Coats

    Wonderful, Susan! Surely, among the thousands of poems in English rhyming “duty” and “beauty,” yours makes makes the most effective use of those words. In fact, every single one of the rhyme words contributes a great deal to theme of the piece, which is a rare accomplishment. I especially like the contrast of “chestnut-tress finesse” and “un-coiffed mess.”

    I could go for a tiny improvement in line 7, substituting “They’ve said that to succumb” for “They’ve told us to succumb.” In fact, what they tell us is NOT to succumb to vain allures, but at first reading, it looks like they want us to do so. Maybe Nancy was confused, and succumbed because she thought they told us to.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Margaret, thank you very much for your kind comments. My topical poems are always written in haste, and I thoroughly appreciate your fine eye. The very aspect of the poem that halted you, did the same to me… but, I let it go. I have taken your advice on board and rewritten the confusing lines. I hope they lend more clarity to the poem. Thanks again for your help.

      Reply
  14. David Watt

    Susan, even though fancy Nancy sets herself up for a fall, you provided the necessary shove. I especially loved the last line.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      David, thank you very much for popping by and commenting. Your “fancy Nancy” term has me grinning, and I only wish I’d thought of it for my poem! I had such fun shoving Ms. Pelosi into the limelight she could well do without – she deserves to be seen for exactly who she is. With much gratitude.

      Reply
  15. E. V. Wyler

    Well, you did a great job humorously highlighting NP’s hypocrisy. I loved the alliteration! This was fun to read.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much, E.V. I’m thrilled you liked it. I had such fun writing it. I find writing poetry therapeutic – it keeps me sane in an increasingly insane world!

      Reply

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