Forums SCP Workshop "D" is for . . .
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  • #30758 Reply
    James A. Tweedie
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    “D” is for . . .

    The term, “Black Death,” a somber derivation,
    A reference to Europe’s denigration
    When deadly plagues brought death and devastation
    To populations doomed to decimation.

    Infested bodies suffered desiccation
    As kings and vassals, fueled by desperation,
    Abandoned hearth and home to desolation,
    Succumbing to despair and dissipation.

    A death within a church brought desecration;
    A boil on the skin met deprecation;
    Red crosses were a plague-house designation;
    And victim’s graves bore little decoration.

    All history is marked by deviation.
    Of this, the plague provides a demonstration.

    Just for fun. A sonnet with all ending words beginning with the letter “D” and ending in “tion.” This way it can be both a Shakespearean and Italian Sonnet (and Miltonian and Spencerian) at the same time (although, I suppose, the closing couplet makes it more or less Shakespearean.) Anyway, it was a fun experiment. Any thoughts or comments?

  • #30853 Reply
    Mark Stone
    0 Posts

    James, Hi.

    1. The meter in line 2 works if you pronounce “reference” with three syllables. But I pronounce it with two syllables. You could change this line to something like:

    The cause of Europe’s wholesale denigration.

    2. In line 3, “deadly” and “death” are redundant. So I would replace “deadly” with a different adjective for “plagues.”

    3. In line 12, I would change “victim’s” to “victims’ “.

    Mark

  • #30865 Reply
    James A. Tweedie
    0 Posts

    Thank you, Mark. I am always amazed by how thoughtful and detailed your critiques are. My response:

    1. “The meter in line 2 works” because the word reference has three syllables.
    2. I used redundant words because I was playing with the letter “d” but you are correct in pointing this out. There are plenty of adjectives to choose from–“sweeping” comes to mind–so I will follow your advice and make a change.
    3. I always trip over possessives but in this case I believe the apostrophe is correct although placed in the wrong position. Since both “victims” and “graves” are plural it should be ” victims’ ”

    I have included this poem in a collection I have just self-published with Dunecrest Press (my own imprint). The collection is called “Mostly Sonnets–Formal Poetry for an Informal World.” It is available on Amazon. I shall include these changes the next time I update the text.

    Once again, thanks.

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