Humor

. ⬙ Judged by Cynthia Erlandson See all entrants here. ⬙ . FIRST PLACE WINNER ($100) . A Slight Deviation from the Canterbury Tales after Chaucer’s Prologue and other poems by Brian Yapko, Sante Fe, New...

. Lucky It stormed around our house last night, The lightning turned the black sky bright. Tornadoes came to join the fray, The morning news led me to pray. Six houses leveled, not too far--- How vulnerable we...

. O Happy Glass Another soul inside a glass deep red— I think on Provenance, effect and cause: Do you begin in wind? In sun, or rain? Inside a seed in bed, or in the grower’s head? In winter when your...

. Heliotrope Phaeton, son of the god Helios, attempted to drive his father’s celestial chariot. His inexperience caused him to burn up part of the earth and the heavens, so he was killed by a thunderbolt...

. With How Sad Steps from a Philip Sidney sonnet With how sad steps, O Moon, you climb the skies! How silently, and with how wan a face! What see you? Humankind’s excessive pace Getting from here to there?...

. Am I, am I beautiful? Surely my face qualifies: Forehead pearly bright to rise Over sweetest lips cerise. Tell me if I’m beautiful! Cupid’s brows I have, green eyes, Rounded chin, nose small in...

. Brimstone I sniff a whiff of brimstone in the tone Of smooth effusions oozing from his tongue. A lick of sulfur clings like stale cologne To slickest syntax eloquently strung Like lustrous pearls...

. A Black-Listed Species The avian community is glad He’s dying out, the mad oölogist. With every species on the British list He always wanted more eggs than he had, And on his checklist those he had to...

. Choose a famous poem and write it in limerick form, putting the title of the original poem at the top. Please fit your chosen poem into one limerick (five lines) only. See "How to Write a Limerick." Post...

. The Best and Worst of Times “It was the best of times, it was …” but how Can anyone forget those words once pearled By Dickens so very long ago; and now, Do we ourselves not live in such a...

. Hunter Biden, New Millennial American Painter “It’s Generic Post Zombie Formalism Illustration”  ---Jerry Saltz “a…vaguely psychedelic vibe…Tomaselli…for dermatologist waiting rooms”...

. In present, past and future, My parrot’s quite a moocher. She’ll eat whatever suits her __No matter whose it is. If what you’re eating tempts her, There’s nothing that preempts her From thinking...

. On Death and Life not by John Milton Ere Death’s foul fetters drag me to my tombAs fodder for the very maw of hell,Should not my weary, failing soul rebelAnd seek release from sin’s eternal doom? For...

. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlTisI_HSgw . The Head of Health and Human Services after W.S. Gilbert’s “I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General” We are the very humble head of Health and...

. What’s In a Name? Useless Loop is a small town in Western Australia. Nevertire and Come By Chance are both located in the state of New South Wales, Australia. There’s a place I yearn to live in, before...

. Ferdinand the Freestyler Angela Jackson is the Poet Laureate of Illinois and Jacqueline Jackson is a poet frequently published by Illinois Times. As I sit here chillin' and relaxin',There's some questions I...

. My eyes espied a little bird And in his mouth… a little worm, That screamed a scream but no one heard. To mourn a worm is quite absurd, I guess his life had come to term. That little bird… he sang a...

. In black and white terms, I would say, __You’re all more white than olive, Take Einstein, Rothschild, Proust, Bizet--- __all Western, bourgeois, stolid. Sephardic or Mizrahi breeds, __Hasidic,...

. Grimm   The days of steering princesses from danger With sweet salvation’s life-sustaining kiss From shining-armored knight or regal stranger Are now considered horribly remiss. Young damsels in...

. “Daddy! There’s the big yellow ‘M’!” “May I take your order ple---?” “One Big Mac, Coke and fries!” Dad  yells, “and---” “Happy Meal for me!” “Coach” Dad would bus our...

  Raison Du Jour Reason is like tea.It’s best at four o’clock,Which is an hour before cocktailsAnd two hours before dark. . . Finding at the Door a Disheveled Man Late on a Sunday Afternoon You don’t...

. It was only a two stone cat, Now what do you think about that? If it sat on your lap, Both your femurs would snap. It was twenty-eight pounds of pure fat. Its owners would feed it on fish, Which they...

. The CCP Position on the Origin of Covid Point to their part Of the globe, And you’re a racist Xenophobe. . . Conmander in Chief Things are quickly getting better, Many times Joe Biden’s said it. Though...

. Logic Class As class convenes I quickly indicate in clear logician's diction of my eagerness to share my disposition to determine if we're here or there, or if instead we're neither here nor there. A student...

. A Can of Worms I saw it in the writing on the wall. I couldn’t help but read between the lines. I knew that pride would come before a fall; A bold and blatant sign of troubled times. Caught within the...

. False statements spurn. Let’s shut them out completely. Quash so–called free speech. Cancel all you can. Do people think deplorables sing sweetly Or weren’t all guilty since the world began? If...

. Unintended Consequence The African-American High schooler had poor grades. Folks worried for his future, Seeing little effort made. Some caring people spoke to him, And urged it would be best, If he worked...

. A Slice from a sonnet by Eleanor Alexander For me, my friends, no graveside vigil keep, With gnashing teeth and sodden handkerchief And grievous howls of outraged disbelief That I, so virile once, am six...

. To the Residents Down Below I am a bookish kind of rat And like each rat before me, I’ve come to the conclusion that There’s few folks that adore me. Although I feel that this is wrong, I try to be...

. Her birthday cake was verily a sight--- A work of art, a sugary-sweet confection, That much to all the revelers’ delight, The baker decorated to perfection. It brought a special twinkle to her eye, To...

. Default, to a Fault There are as many deeds I ought to do As there are jobs in urgent need of doing. My task is knowing whether to pursue Them, or, too overwhelmed, to stop pursuing. As numerous as shores...

. Fallen Arches “Not one change of species into another is on record… we cannot prove that a single species has been changed.” ---Charles Darwin I heard today that Darwin’s Arch had crumbled. Its lid...

. Her name was Tatyana she had eyes of steely blue, She seemed the sort of girl from whom you’d learn a thing or two. So ample in the bosom and so slender in the hips, And every man she came across would...

. Today I will be turning seventy, An age I’ll claim with some temerity. I’ll welcome it with both serenity And sober, grave, austere solemnity. I’d hoped to celebrate my destiny By jotting down some...

. Everyone Knows Fog and smoke! Such confusion we’re subject to! So much danger to me and you From the yahoos without a clue! Now we’re woke! It’s high time that we reassess This society’s thorough...

. The Phones with apologies to Edgar Allan Poe Phones, phones, phones, See the people with their phones, Silver, pink and paisley phones, On the subways and the buses and the sidewalks, all alone, Lost in...

. Light Side an interpretation of the apology by the DarkSide ransomware hackers Our motives are mercenary, and apolitical.Putin puts in a good word; we’re good guys!We’re taken aback that we hacked...

. in response to Mike Bryant's "CDC: New Guidance" “The Helicap’s a wondrous thing,” I heard the salesman say, I ordered one from Amazon, it came the other day. It fits just like a bathing cap; it's...

. Raw Now, listen, if you want to know the truth: The world's a battleground of claw and tooth. . Spare the Details Elections, like the spawning of the salmon, Are something we would rather not...

. Piteous Fools! The time has comeWhen all men seek to be is numb.The toils of our daily lifeDo overwhelm us all with strifeWithin ourselves; we aim to findA refuge somewhere for our mindTo have its day of...