Humor

. The Mannequins Are Melting The mannequins are melting as we speak Now that the summer heat wave's at its peak. __While passing by the clothing store __This afternoon at half past four, I saw the havoc waves...

. Washington Assumes Command at Cambridge from Legends of Liberty, Volume 3 Devoted Billy Lee, a stalking fox, Observed his master’s swaying ponytail. The ribbon coming loose, he stopped to fix It, leaning...

. Cold Blooded Murder It is a hot and muggy Sort of Texas day. Time to do my stalking And hunting down my prey. I’m armed and dangerous. My weapon I half-hide. When killing I am cautious And patiently...

. Washington Departs from Mount Vernon from Legends of Liberty, Volume 3 “Wouldn’t you rather stay?” Watching her doveOf sixteen summers, Martha’s hazels, tearingAway from patriarchal pupils, doveBelow...

. It’s All Her Fault ---with a nod to Eleanor Brown's "Bitcherel" Why write in meter when penning a poem, __You ask me, so here’s my reply: When I drop the rapturous roll of a rhythm __My muse fades away...

. My Vacation Trip in Verse by James A. Tweedie One of the comments in response to the recent “On the Meeting of Poets” post read: “A diary in verse. It’s original and interesting. I’d like to see...

. Second Chances Just know that you’ve been staked a second chance At any time the future’s looking muddy. Put on your shoes and socks, and join the dance. Don’t look a gift-horse in the mouth,...

. The Small Commission When school yearbooks are thrust forth to be signed, We give out life advice. We speak our mind, And charge our classmates to keep some small vow: “Recall our good times!” “Stay as...

. Washington and the Cherry Tree from Legends of Liberty, Volume 3 Young George chopped down his father’s cherry tree, Not knowing that a woman lived inside. While playing with his hatchet, too carefree Out...

. Problem Child Barley and hops acquainted, meet, __And yeast completes the marriage. Soon happy news as something brews __With keg for baby carriage. Where he appears good cheer is found; __When gone, he's...

. Anniversary Remembrance Sometimes I envy them the lives they lived, the death they died: They perished at the peak of lovers’ hopes and nuptial pride--- No growing old for that glad monarch or his happy...

. A Town The difficulty of describing how This town was then, may only be because So little happened there, compared to now, Though what occurred (the bustle and the buzz) Filled every room in each small...

. I Need My Coffee  I need my coffee; don’t get in the way Of that which wakes me up and makes me tick. Addicted? Yes. I’ll quit another day. I’ve work to do; on task I need to stay. My morning  cup...

. The Rise of Washington from Legends of Liberty, Volume 3 IT’S TIME! Let’s give our story’s star some space. He’s famous through the land, you know his role: “A fire in his eyes, a light in his...

. Were She to Ask, and I Affirm Were she to ask, and I affirm That I'd still love her as a worm, I'd make it clear (because my dear Has Northern Cardinals to fear) The Robins and the Starlings Would die before...

. Four Letter Words My dad was smart, my dad was wise; He crossed his t’s and dotted i’s. His grammar skills were without taint. And he did not say y’all or ain’t. He taught an English class to...

. Reward for How You Live from Italo Calvino’s Italian folktale “Gesù e San Pietro in Friuli” One night, while traveling on a mountain road, two wanderers came upon a small abode. The vagrants, Jesus...

. The Day the Roofers Came He fled the day the roofers came. His fur was fluffed and frizzy. He whizzed across the busy lawn so quick it made me dizzy. The slam and clang and hammer bang had left him in a...

. . Little Boy Blue . Original Version Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn, The sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the corn. Where is the boy who looks after the sheep? He's under a haystack, fast...

. Phone Home I often talk to radio astronomers, The kind of guys who like to stay anonymous, Who chew on reams of stellar data every day From objects, many million, zillion miles away. In England’s fields,...

. A Tiny Tabby Beside our garden’s scalloped fence, where English Ivy’s vines are dense, we viewed an unexpected sight; a mini tiger, gold and white! This morning’s new, bewildered guest, abandoned here...

. I Saw a Naked Wood Nymph I sat down in the forest, a picnic in the shade. I saw a naked wood nymph flitting across the glade. I dropped my sandwich there laying on the ground. I went to chase the wood...

. I Never Do a Happy Dance I never do a happy dance, Or look online to find romance, Speak my sentences upended, Or keep saying I’m offended, Check my email every hour, Never seeing tree or flower, Drink my...

. 1. Just off the cuff, I’d cap the alcoholic swill __Before it calls your bluff and saps your will. . 2. The dead, although their tongues are somewhat tied, Might know already all you might...

. King George III Declares War from Legends of Liberty, Volume 2 Note: The British have won a pyrrhic victory at Bunker Hill. King George, who has been showing some erratic personality quirks since being...

. Dishing Out Advice Why are there always dishes in the sink? So lazy and undisciplined. You’d think they might show just a little more respect and know that household members will object. But there they...

. Epicure's Delight A wondrous day, my love, is this— An afternoon of utter bliss! The two of us alone at last Embracing tightly, holding fast! The setting sun could scarcely vie To match the fire in your...

. To a Beet I sing the bristled hedgehog grainno horticulture can explain,with six sly seedlings in its brain:__the unborn beet.  That hook-and-hollow hydra seed, a spiny knell to nascent weeds;nor leaf nor...

. A Curse Against a Thief from the Carmina Burana Let the thief who stole my cap be by death collected: Let it happen suddenly, and be unexpected; After death, to endless pain let him be subjected; Once he’s...

. A Divine Mistake? Dear Father up in Heaven, Why create thou rats. Six times out of seven They even scare the cats. Why create thy creature’s eye So beady and so small, With no redeeming features, Why...

. Overkill K.I.S.S. ("Keep it simple, stupid.") My heart enflamed with rapture, burned With passionate desire; yearned For her and only her, consumed By fire. And like a flower, bloomed Poetic as I told her...

. Third-Degree Burns A young poet who came from Dundee Looked around him and then took a knee, __For the older he grew __The more surely he knew That accomplishment wasn’t to be. But another lad, whom...

. Shakespeare's Women for Susan Jarvis Bryant, who has a spiritual home in Stratford-on-Avon It’s April 23rd. The rain is pouring And from the Gulf the Poet can hear thunder. She sips Earl Grey. Her regal...

. Not Sonnet 18… Yet I strain in vain to sparkle like the Bard. I strive to spill slick iambs by the ream. Comparing thee to spring in my backyard Just doesn’t thrill like Will’s lush summer dream. My...

. Goodbye, Sweetie Oh, devil-angel, Sugar! Your time’s done! You rot my teeth, yet melt upon my tongue. I’m forced to hide my black smile from the sun; meantime, my exhalations smell like dung. You cause...

. The Meat Purveyor’s Son Aesthetically impaired, she was the heir to daddy’s fortune. She was plumpish, short and much too close together were the eyes. She hankered after marriage with a man to birth at...

. The Qua-Train In four lines stood iambic feet To board the quatrain from the street. The poem made of quatrain cars Passed each four lines like music bars. Each quatrain car rolled down the track, First the...

. The Book on Lefty McBane McBane could do no wrong—from his debut, late in his rookie season, right on through his grandfather’s retirement. Every pitch he threw gave batters a decided itch to hit ... the...

. Distress Signals an extended villanelle Distressing times are coming round again, And all the talking heads now flap their jaws To say it isn’t if, but rather when.— There is a dearth of good upstanding...

. Coffee Limericks . I love to have coffee each morning, Including the act of the pouring: __I smell the aroma, __Come out of my coma, And wonder why you still are snoring. . I start with a coffee each...