Humor

. Concerning Snow ---a conversation between Beauty and Necessity “Well, there you go again.” “What's that?” “Come now, don't act so innocent. You see that plow out there, defacing what it took all...

. Classic Case History Though I was blind, it wasn’t hard to see That blindness was a gift at least as good As any other. People seeing me As someone less insightful than he should Have been were blurry...

. . Sonnet 1 I felt like trying something new today, And so I put my pen upon a page To mimic Shakespeare's famous olden way— A style which, I hear, was all the rage. So here I am committing fourteen...

. The Great Rub-off Norm and Zip, in mismatched chairs, __were sipping tea and talking, when Desi, their loyal hound, said, “Listen, __you’re shedding like me!” (How shocking!) Norm spat out his...

. Watch Out! Now, “The Three Little Pigs” is a tale More for cautioning than for amusing: Learn its lessons and you may prevail; Heed them not, and you may end up losing. For we, none of us, live in a...

. Bollical Dogs I have a complaint! T.S. Eliot hogs All the fun with his stories of Jellicle Cats! So let me (inspired by zoo catalogs) Write of beasts ripe for versificational chats. But shall I vaunt...

. A Freshman Pep Talk ---upon reading “Composers to Listen to While Studying,”by Andrew Benson Brown, in The Epoch Times, Nov. 2, 2024 You’re ready? Get down to it, cram the night through.What a...

. Oh, the Days Oh, the days of poop and vomit! My best dress had drool upon it While I walked my teething child Up and down the hall for miles. Oh, the days of poop and vomit! When the baby chose to not...

. Help! I Can’t Stop Speaking in Iambic! Help! I can’t stop speaking in iambic Pentameter! No matter what I say, Somehow it keeps on coming out that way. It’s not the first time. Could it be a...

. Christmas in Florida I watched him pass! St. Nick himself---Kris Kringle,Who hails from Buffalo, not the North Pole.He waved; I heard bells on his golf-cart jingleAs he sang karaoke rock and roll. That’s...

. The Drift of Dark Days November is a time for us to grieve About the dying of the warmth and light, About the passing of our joie de vivre, As we await the bitter arctic bite. Near-perfect vees of fleeing...

. Fake Sales “Fifty Percent Off”The store signs all say,But I have to scoff---There is simply no wayThat the clothes I picked outFrom the “sale” in that store,Were---on this there’s no doubt---Ever...

. Celestial Potatoes Thanksgiving morning, poised I stand: near cutting board, honed knife in hand. My self-taught method must suffice: ten pounds of tubers, peel and dice, pot-boil, purée with whipping...

. Montana High School Reunion The big fella who grew up in Butte, Claimed his high school sweetheart was so cute, __Going back would be grand __A reunion was planned So he went out and bought costly boots. He...

. A Recruiter Tells It as It Isn’t Your World War One recruitment agent prays he finds you well. Your King and Country says we need you for a dalliance in France. In gay Paris, you’ll get to chat and...

. Guy Fawkes Night Makeover November 5th! To Guy Fawkes let’s be kind--- no burning him in effigy this year. His hanged-and-drawn-and-quartered doom I find excessive; let’s reverse his fate most drear! His...

. I. I travel thanks to water, But do not float or sail. More quickly than an otter And have a smoke-like tail. What am I? . II>. II. When at the beach, I soak up sun, Look down on waves (that’s...

. The Walk Whether you call it a walk or a run, some animals tread on the water for fun, to flee, chase their food, or show off for their mate. Grebes, doing a dazzling dance for their date, slap their lobed...

. Their Principal Principle With their hideous lies and a gleam in their eyes They disable each new generation, For the best route to power in districts gone sour Is attacking the heart of the...

. Consequences of Following Advice Advice can come in snappy lines __That have a fun refrain: “Let a smile be your umbrella,” __Though that won’t block cold rain. They tell us that “To err is...

. Not the Same Thing Anymore Of most who go to school these days __It sadly must be stated, No longer can they be appraised __As being educated. . . Kids’ Most Common Mistake The most common...

. Autumn Reversed Once snowflakes have recrystalized,__they rise from where they fell;in Earth’s alternate universe__it’s early winter’s knell. The frost unfreezes, rain unfalls,__leaves littering the...

. What Mother Goose Neglected to Mention . A Soup Spoon Reflects upon His Past So the dish ran away with the spoon, we were told, __And he treated her well, bless his soul, But he realized, when he was...

. Cutie Pie Cat The pink-nosed face of Prospero my cat, Pink nose and white fur face, is what he rubs Against me, purring.  He does not know that I love him since he’s cute.  My finger scrubs His whiskers...

. The British Museum The best sources repeat it, unending, For the scholars in every lyceum: Many art works, of nations unlending, Can be found in the British Museum. There are statues and weapons and...

. Devotions Night after night, for nigh a year, When bedtime came, we’d watch our child Be overcome by his emotions: From glee, to rage, to childish fear, And us both stumped: What drove him so wild __And...

. Light Wave Heatwave When the temperature rises, a worker despises __The withering glare of the sun. When the sweat’s so profuse that our skin is a sluice, __Even golf and croquet ain’t no fun. A jug of...

. Supply and Demand Infinite happiness isn’t available. Something so precious just isn’t that scalable. Boundless dismay, though, is much more attainable. Being uncoveted, pain is quite gainable. . . Off...

. Garden Party The sparrows near the feeder flit and preen While predators politely quit the scene. A mockingbird is chirping up a storm, And soft drinks on the cart are getting warm. The worms beneath the...

. The Mannequins Are Melting The mannequins are melting as we speak Now that the summer heat wave's at its peak. __While passing by the clothing store __This afternoon at half past four, I saw the havoc waves...

. Washington Assumes Command at Cambridge from Legends of Liberty, Volume 3 Devoted Billy Lee, a stalking fox, Observed his master’s swaying ponytail. The ribbon coming loose, he stopped to fix It, leaning...

. Cold Blooded Murder It is a hot and muggy Sort of Texas day. Time to do my stalking And hunting down my prey. I’m armed and dangerous. My weapon I half-hide. When killing I am cautious And patiently...

. Washington Departs from Mount Vernon from Legends of Liberty, Volume 3 “Wouldn’t you rather stay?” Watching her doveOf sixteen summers, Martha’s hazels, tearingAway from patriarchal pupils, doveBelow...

. It’s All Her Fault ---with a nod to Eleanor Brown's "Bitcherel" Why write in meter when penning a poem, __You ask me, so here’s my reply: When I drop the rapturous roll of a rhythm __My muse fades away...

. My Vacation Trip in Verse by James A. Tweedie One of the comments in response to the recent “On the Meeting of Poets” post read: “A diary in verse. It’s original and interesting. I’d like to see...

. Second Chances Just know that you’ve been staked a second chance At any time the future’s looking muddy. Put on your shoes and socks, and join the dance. Don’t look a gift-horse in the mouth,...

. The Small Commission When school yearbooks are thrust forth to be signed, We give out life advice. We speak our mind, And charge our classmates to keep some small vow: “Recall our good times!” “Stay as...

. Washington and the Cherry Tree from Legends of Liberty, Volume 3 Young George chopped down his father’s cherry tree, Not knowing that a woman lived inside. While playing with his hatchet, too carefree Out...

. Problem Child Barley and hops acquainted, meet, __And yeast completes the marriage. Soon happy news as something brews __With keg for baby carriage. Where he appears good cheer is found; __When gone, he's...

. Anniversary Remembrance Sometimes I envy them the lives they lived, the death they died: They perished at the peak of lovers’ hopes and nuptial pride--- No growing old for that glad monarch or his happy...