Society of Classical Poets logo
  • About Us
  • Join
  • Donate
  • Poetry
    Random
    • 'An Awkward Endorsement': A Poem by Susan Jarvis Bryant

      The Society
      September 8, 2024
      Poetry, Satire
      32 Comments
    Recent
    • ‘The Legend of Zhong Kui’: A Poem by M.D. Skeen

      The Society
      June 5, 2025
      1
    • ‘Roads of Potter County’: A Poem by Frank Rable

      The Society
      June 4, 2025
      10
    • On the Art Institute of Chicago’s South Garden and Other Poetry by Adam Sedia

      The Society
      June 3, 2025
      8
    • ‘My Fairytale’: A Poem by Roy E. Peterson

      The Society
      June 3, 2025
      12
    • ‘In Her Fair Foundry, Nature Forges Art’ by Claude Gaspar Bachet, Translated by Josh Middeldorf

      The Society
      June 2, 2025
      3
    • ‘Lost Ark’: A Poem by Christopher Fried

      The Society
      June 2, 2025
      5
  • Submit
  • Contests
    Random
    • ABC Poems: A Poetry Puzzle Challenge

      The Society
      March 20, 2018
      Poetry, Poetry Challenge, Poetry Contests, Popular Poetry Archives
      113 Comments
    Recent
    • Winners of Friends of Falun Gong 2025 Poetry Competition Announced

      The Society
      May 13, 2025
      1
    • 2025 Friends of Falun Gong Poetry Competition

      The Society
      March 31, 2025
    • The Best Poems of 2024: Winners of SCP International Poetry Competition

      The Society
      February 1, 2025
      28
    • Winners of 2024 SCP International High School Poetry Competition Announced

      The Society
      February 1, 2025
      2
    • The Best Haiku of 2024: Winners of the 2024 SCP Haiku Competition

      The Society
      September 29, 2024
      14
    • The 2024 Society of Classical Poets International Poetry Competition

      The Society
      August 31, 2024
      16
  • Journal
  • Books
  • Members
  • Poetry Contests
  • Donate
  • About Us
  • Submit
  • Poetry

Humor

Home
Poetry
Humor

‘Phone Home’: A Poem on the Jodrell Bank Observatory, by Jeff Eardley

The Society
May 31, 2024
Culture, Humor, Poetry
19 Comments
. Phone Home I often talk to radio astronomers, The kind of guys who like to stay anonymous, Who chew on reams of stellar data every day From objects, many million, zillion miles away. In England’s fields,...

‘A Tiny Tabby’: A Poem by E.V. Wyler

The Society
May 30, 2024
Humor, Poetry
28 Comments
. A Tiny Tabby Beside our garden’s scalloped fence, where English Ivy’s vines are dense, we viewed an unexpected sight; a mini tiger, gold and white! This morning’s new, bewildered guest, abandoned here...

‘I Saw a Naked Wood Nymph’: A Poem by Roy E. Peterson

The Society
May 29, 2024
Humor, Poetry
25 Comments
. I Saw a Naked Wood Nymph I sat down in the forest, a picnic in the shade. I saw a naked wood nymph flitting across the glade. I dropped my sandwich there laying on the ground. I went to chase the wood...

‘I Never Do a Happy Dance’: A Poem by Lisa Marie Miller

The Society
May 26, 2024
Beauty, Humor, Poetry
8 Comments
. I Never Do a Happy Dance I never do a happy dance, Or look online to find romance, Speak my sentences upended, Or keep saying I’m offended, Check my email every hour, Never seeing tree or flower, Drink my...

‘Just Off the Cuff’ and Other Poems by Stephen M. Dickey

The Society
May 24, 2024
Epigrams and Proverbs, Humor, Poetry
19 Comments
. 1. Just off the cuff, I’d cap the alcoholic swill __Before it calls your bluff and saps your will. . 2. The dead, although their tongues are somewhat tied, Might know already all you might...

‘King George III Declares War’ from Vol. 2 of Andrew Benson Brown’s Mock Epic Poem

The Society
May 19, 2024
Epic, Humor, Poetry
17 Comments
. King George III Declares War from Legends of Liberty, Volume 2 Note: The British have won a pyrrhic victory at Bunker Hill. King George, who has been showing some erratic personality quirks since being...

Poems About Doing the Dishes, by Julian Woodruff

The Society
May 18, 2024
Humor, Poetry, Song Lyrics
18 Comments
. Dishing Out Advice Why are there always dishes in the sink? So lazy and undisciplined. You’d think they might show just a little more respect and know that household members will object. But there they...

‘Epicure’s Delight’ and Other Poetry by E.C. Traganas

The Society
May 9, 2024
Humor, Poetry
15 Comments
. Epicure's Delight A wondrous day, my love, is this— An afternoon of utter bliss! The two of us alone at last Embracing tightly, holding fast! The setting sun could scarcely vie To match the fire in your...

‘To a Beet’: A Poem by Kensley Greene

The Society
May 8, 2024
Beauty, Humor, Poetry
13 Comments
. To a Beet I sing the bristled hedgehog grainno horticulture can explain,with six sly seedlings in its brain:__the unborn beet.  That hook-and-hollow hydra seed, a spiny knell to nascent weeds;nor leaf nor...

‘A Curse Against a Thief’ from the Carmina Burana, Translated by Joseph S. Salemi

The Society
May 6, 2024
Humor, Poetry, Translation
27 Comments
. A Curse Against a Thief from the Carmina Burana Let the thief who stole my cap be by death collected: Let it happen suddenly, and be unexpected; After death, to endless pain let him be subjected; Once he’s...

‘A Divine Mistake?’: A Poem by Norma Pain

The Society
May 4, 2024
Humor, Poetry
25 Comments
. A Divine Mistake? Dear Father up in Heaven, Why create thou rats. Six times out of seven They even scare the cats. Why create thy creature’s eye So beady and so small, With no redeeming features, Why...
poem/anderson/love/valentines day

‘Overkill’ and Other Light Verse by James A. Tweedie

The Society
May 3, 2024
Humor, Poetry
16 Comments
. Overkill K.I.S.S. ("Keep it simple, stupid.") My heart enflamed with rapture, burned With passionate desire; yearned For her and only her, consumed By fire. And like a flower, bloomed Poetic as I told her...

‘Third-Degree Burns’ and Other Poems by C.B. Anderson

The Society
April 29, 2024
Beauty, Humor, Limerick, Poetry
22 Comments
. Third-Degree Burns A young poet who came from Dundee Looked around him and then took a knee, __For the older he grew __The more surely he knew That accomplishment wasn’t to be. But another lad, whom...

On the Occasion of William Shakespeare’s Birthday: ‘Shakespeare’s Women’ by Brian Yapko

The Society
April 23, 2024
Beauty, Humor, Poetry, Shakespeare
26 Comments
. Shakespeare's Women for Susan Jarvis Bryant, who has a spiritual home in Stratford-on-Avon It’s April 23rd. The rain is pouring And from the Gulf the Poet can hear thunder. She sips Earl Grey. Her regal...

‘Not Sonnet 18… Yet’ and Other Poetry for Shakespeare’s Birthday, by Susan Jarvis Bryant

The Society
April 22, 2024
Humor, Poetry, Shakespeare
40 Comments
. Not Sonnet 18… Yet I strain in vain to sparkle like the Bard. I strive to spill slick iambs by the ream. Comparing thee to spring in my backyard Just doesn’t thrill like Will’s lush summer dream. My...

‘Goodbye, Sweetie’: A Poem on Sugar by Paul A. Freeman

The Society
April 12, 2024
Humor, Poetry
20 Comments
. Goodbye, Sweetie Oh, devil-angel, Sugar! Your time’s done! You rot my teeth, yet melt upon my tongue. I’m forced to hide my black smile from the sun; meantime, my exhalations smell like dung. You cause...

‘The Meat Purveyor’s Son’: A Sestina by Shirley Bunyan

The Society
April 11, 2024
Humor, Love Poems, Poetry, Sestina
14 Comments
. The Meat Purveyor’s Son Aesthetically impaired, she was the heir to daddy’s fortune. She was plumpish, short and much too close together were the eyes. She hankered after marriage with a man to birth at...

‘The Qua-Train’ and Other Poems by Joshua C. Frank

The Society
April 8, 2024
Humor, Poetry
14 Comments
. The Qua-Train In four lines stood iambic feet To board the quatrain from the street. The poem made of quatrain cars Passed each four lines like music bars. Each quatrain car rolled down the track, First the...

‘The Book on Lefty McBane’: A Major League Baseball Poem by Julian Woodruff

The Society
March 28, 2024
Humor, Poetry
10 Comments
. The Book on Lefty McBane McBane could do no wrong—from his debut, late in his rookie season, right on through his grandfather’s retirement. Every pitch he threw gave batters a decided itch to hit ... the...

‘Distress Signals’: An Extended Villanelle and Other Poems by C.B. Anderson

The Society
March 27, 2024
Beauty, Culture, Epigrams and Proverbs, Humor, Poetry, Villanelle
20 Comments
. Distress Signals an extended villanelle Distressing times are coming round again, And all the talking heads now flap their jaws To say it isn’t if, but rather when.— There is a dearth of good upstanding...

‘Coffee Limericks’ by Roy E. Peterson

The Society
March 17, 2024
Humor, Limerick, Poetry
45 Comments
. Coffee Limericks . I love to have coffee each morning, Including the act of the pouring: __I smell the aroma, __Come out of my coma, And wonder why you still are snoring. . I start with a coffee each...

‘Homophonophobic’: A Poem by Michael Pietrack

The Society
March 13, 2024
Humor, Poetry, Readings
34 Comments
. . Homophonophobic (This poem is so vain and humorous you’ll burst a vein or break your humerus) My editor returned my latest piece, but all my comrades lay in pools of red revisions. Storms of mourning...

‘The Alleged Bulldozer’ and Other Poetry on Married Life by Mark F. Stone

The Society
March 13, 2024
Humor, Poetry
17 Comments
. The Alleged Bulldozer My wife told me, shortly after we got married, that I “bulldozed” her into the marriage. Bulldozed you into marriage? A most preposterous claim. Such silly thoughts disparage the...

‘Bowing to Power’ and Other Poems by C.B. Anderson

The Society
March 10, 2024
Beauty, Humor, Poetry
10 Comments
. Bowing to Power Although they might Not do what’s right, The very strong Are never wrong. If you complain, You’ll feel the pain That’s coming to A town near you. . . Domestic Finances Awash in...

‘Home Invasions’: Three Poems by James A. Tweedie

The Society
March 7, 2024
Culture, Humor, Poetry
11 Comments
. Hatching A gelid mass of wings that seethed and surged— A squeamish sight that caught me by surprise— A swarming hatch of termites had emerged A host of queens to mount and fertilize. They sprang from...

‘Probing for the Problematic Polyp’ and Other Poetry by Mark F. Stone

The Society
February 28, 2024
Children's, Humor, Poetry
21 Comments
. Probing for the Problematic Polyp Bob was testy yesterday. __A fractious, famished fellow. You would be, too, if all that you __consumed was juice and Jell-O. He downed the colon cleansing drink. __The...

‘On Me’ and Other Poetry by Shamik Banerjee

The Society
February 20, 2024
Beauty, Humor, Poetry
17 Comments
. On Me I am a simple Eastern bard __Who moseys by the heather That grows in sweeping fields and loves __To dance in springy weather. I glamourize my hometown great, __Pen tales of grief and love, And avidly...
poem/philosophy/descartes

A Poem on Descartes’ ‘I Think Therefore I Am’ and Other Poems by C.B. Anderson

The Society
February 17, 2024
Beauty, Culture, Humor, Poetry
26 Comments
. Ipse Dixit I say Cogito ergo sum To the animal here in the room. So how do I know I exist? Well, here’s a provisional list: I doubt, and I fear, and I bleed; I attend to a friend who’s in need. The...

‘Ode to a Dodo’ and Other Dodo Poetry by Susan Jarvis Bryant

The Society
February 9, 2024
Humor, Poetry, Triolet
40 Comments
. Ode to a Dodo  inspired by Paul A. Freeman’s "Paradise Island"   O tragic fowl of cataclysmic fate, Your magic thrives beyond your wretched end. O plumed and portly gem of plodding gait, Your vexing...

‘How Septuagenarian’s Cope’ and Other Poetry by Peter Venable

The Society
February 9, 2024
Beauty, Humor, Poetry
6 Comments
. How Septuagenarian’s Cope Past seventy. Age does prevail. __The day is growing dim. I’ve managed through life’s calms and gales— I still can trapse through woodland trails __And workout at a...

‘The Knitted Dress’: A Poem by Norma Pain

The Society
February 6, 2024
Humor, Poetry
39 Comments
. The Knitted Dress I began with the best of intentions, Though in hindsight I have to confess, That the scope of my project’s dimensions Were a little ambitious I guess. I imagined an intricate pattern, In...

Poems on Bach’s Ricercar Fugue and Sonata F–A–E of Schumann et al., by Julian Woodruff

The Society
February 5, 2024
Culture, Humor, Music, Poetry
10 Comments
. A Musical Offering When Bach arrived at Sanssouci, King Frederick said, “Sir, you must be tired. My fortepianos may help to revive you. Please, come play.” While Bach was busy at the keys, the king...

‘A Temporary Exhibit’ and Other Water Poems by James A. Tweedie

The Society
February 4, 2024
Beauty, Humor, Poetry
11 Comments
. A Temporary Exhibit A million drops of water will be sprayed Across my yard today. And each of them Will capture the refraction of each blade Of grass, each dandelion leaf and stem. Each image is reversed...

‘Masks’: A Poem by Jeff Eardley

The Society
February 4, 2024
Humor, Poetry
26 Comments
. Masks When tourists arrive in our village, The question that most of them ask, Is, “Why is it all of your menfolk, Are walking around wearing masks?” Well, it started way back in the sixties, While...

‘Left Outside’ and Other Poetry by Daniel Kemper

The Society
February 3, 2024
Beauty, Culture, Humor, Poetry
10 Comments
. Left Outside The shopping cart, precisely ordered now while searching for those perfect little lines of lights for decorations---anyhow, I'm sure there must be something that combines with lights around the...

‘Dear Death…’ and Other Poems on Death by Susan Jarvis Bryant

The Society
January 27, 2024
Humor, Poetry
59 Comments
. Dear Death… Don't tickle with your sickle __Don't taunt me when I'm sick. Don’t make me writhe. Don’t spare the scythe. __Be slick and stick me quick. Don’t waltz me long and slowly __Through...

‘Requiem’ and Other Poems by C.B. Anderson

The Society
January 25, 2024
Beauty, Humor, Poetry
25 Comments
. Requiem The notes we cherish most Are gathered from the throats Of those who perished young. The song we sadly toast Was sown from wanton oats, Disowned and never sung. . . Role Models __A forager is...

‘On Cats and Love’ and Other Poetry by Benjamin Cannicott Shavitz

The Society
January 23, 2024
Beauty, Humor, Love Poems, Poetry
4 Comments
. On Cats and Love My cat does not explain himself. He knows his reasons. Why must I? He needs to bathe while on a shelf Or hunt some trash? I don’t care why. I do not need to understand. I love him since...

A Poem with a Glossary: ‘The Kakistocracy’ by Phil S. Rogers

The Society
January 21, 2024
Culture, Humor, Poetry
18 Comments
. The Kakistocracy Does the news give you malneirophrenia, __but you've not been to sleep? Do you galumph all day around the house, __your mind in sorrows deep? Do politicians bring on crapulence, __but...

‘Shakespeare Re-placed: Re-Verse Engineering’: Poetry by James A. Tweedie

The Society
January 12, 2024
Humor, Poetry, Shakespeare
14 Comments
. Shakespeare Re-placed Re-Verse Engineering In the picture above, SCP poet James A. Tweedie has taken the image of Venus from Botticelli’s Primavera and relocated her to the upstairs bathroom in his home....
  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. 4
  5. 5
  6. 6
  7. 7
  1. Roy Eugene Peterson on ‘The Legend of Zhong Kui’: A Poem by M.D. SkeenJune 5, 2025

    Fascinating tale rooted in the requirement of those times to memorize reams of writing to be accepted into the ancient…

  2. Frank Rable on ‘Roads of Potter County’: A Poem by Frank RableJune 5, 2025

    Yes, Margaret, you're right about that, I think. A nice smooth lawn instead of the Penndot version of smooth asphalt.

  3. Margaret Coats on ‘Roads of Potter County’: A Poem by Frank RableJune 5, 2025

    Frank, my dad's family is from the Pottsville area (Schuylkill County) where roads seem the same--until summer arrives and the…

  4. Margaret Coats on ‘Frivolity from Quality’ and Other Poems by Russel WinickJune 5, 2025

    Russel, there was a short-lived scandal now some years back, because high-prestige Oxford University Press fired editors to employ marketers.…

  5. Frank Rable on ‘Roads of Potter County’: A Poem by Frank RableJune 5, 2025

    Thank you, Stephanie! I 'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you dodge the potholes. All of them. Now…

Your subscription could not be saved. Please try again.
Your subscription has been successful.

Daily Poems

Subscribe to receive updates in your email inbox

poetry/benson brown/reading

Categories

  • Acrostic
  • Alexandroid
  • Alliterative
  • Art
  • Beauty
  • Best Poems
  • Blank Verse
  • Chant Royal
  • Chaucer
  • Children's
  • Classical Poets Live
  • Clerihew
  • Covid-19
  • Culture
  • Dante
  • Deconstructing Communism
  • Education
  • Ekphrastic
  • Epic
  • Epigrams and Proverbs
  • Essays
  • Featured
  • Found Poem
  • From the Society
  • Haiku and Senryu
  • High School Submissions
  • Homer
  • Human Rights in China
  • Humor
  • Interviews
  • Limerick
  • Love Poems
  • Music
  • Pantoum
  • Performing Arts
  • Poetry
  • Poetry Challenge
  • Poetry Contests
  • Poetry Forms
  • Popular Poetry Archives
  • Readings
  • Reviews
  • Rhupunt
  • Riddles
  • Rondeau
  • Rondeau Redoublé
  • Rondel
  • Rubaiyat
  • Sapphic Verse
  • Satire
  • Science
  • Sestina
  • Shakespeare
  • Shape Poems
  • Short Stories
  • Song Lyrics
  • Symposium
  • Terrorism
  • Terza Rima
  • The Environment
  • The Raven
  • Translation
  • Triolet
  • Video
  • Villanelle

Poetry Archive

  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • Poetry Resources
  • Poetry Readings
  • High School Poetry
  • Translation
  • Poetry Contests
  • Poetry Forms
  • From the Society
  • Poetry Archive
  • Education
  • Humor
  • Reviews
  • About Us
  • The Raven
  • Riddles
  • Journal
  • Members
  • Terms of Use
  • The Society of Classical Poets © 2024