Satire

  Arga’il’s Epistle to the Priests of Moloch Hail, Brethren of the Sacrificial Rite, Ye priests of Moloch, pride of Rabbath-Amon! Accept this humble missive which is sent From your most abject servant, Arga’il, Who details visions borne of second sight. I write of priest-craft (partly gleaned from Mammon) On...

  Safer? My photos were safer in boxes My words were secure in my books. They say that the cloud’s the solution For worry o’er fire and crooks. But woe! I’ve forgotten my password. My storage is now on the brink. Marked safe from the physical hazards, My stuff is...

  Up-up-up with a Fish A scowl crossed the face of the Cat in the Hat, on hearing the Fish in the Bowl was a rat. The goldfish had threatened to snitch on his scheme, to thwart fun, fun, fun, or so it did seem. He suggested a game called:...

  Advice to a Cigar Aficionado If you smoke a cheap cigar You may get severe catarrh, For a poor grade of tobacco Can drive your bronchial system wacko. Stick to stogies from Havana Which are like angelic manna. Even though they are illicit (Yes, the law is quite explicit)...

  No Doubt Someone Was Very Busy The shopping cart was in a parking space, And not the store’s close-by cart storage place, Though every other cart had been put in it, But that would take an extra half a minute.     Disregarded Dumb things we did back in...

  Poor Minnesota Normal people have an issue recreating Mogadishu, while destroying each iota of what once was Minnesota. Minnesota paid out millions to a small group of civilians with Somali shared traditions, and with fraudulent ambitions. When Tim Walz first heard about it, he did more than merely doubt...

  Civilized Let’s be honest: the world has changed little since it was common knowledge that Jews are humanity’s enemy. Hitler was just somewhat extreme. Fast and loose. Some think he was all right, but that's faulty. Our approaches are more civilized. Killing Jews is sometimes too revolting. Some may...

Dead Singer Gear-grind crushed the parrot’s beak and ground the skull to mucous mass. I found this gesture quite unique— the parrot family claimed it crass, filed suit against the perpetrator demanding substantial compensation in form of cash, or real estate, or stocks and bonds adjusted for inflation. Their day...

  Cultural Diversity O, Reason is a Western trait; _Dead white men love logic And dominate the world with it--- _A practice demagogic. No syllogism from the Greeks _Will boss me, no, my thought’ll Go where and when it wants to go _No matter if it ought’ll. I’ll think what...

  Ode to My Plumber Bubble, bubble toilet trouble, Fix this problem on the double. Plugged up draining. Will not flush. When it breaks loose, gonna gush. Nowhere for the stuff to go When there's stoppage far below. Situation most alarmin'. Someone overused the Charmin, Forming one big massive plug...

  Rachel’s Bawbee Rachel: Chancellor Rachel Reeves who will present His Majesty's Government's budget on Nov. 26, 2025 “ae bawbee”: Scottish phrase for a single halfpenny NHS: National Health Service OBR: Office for Budget Responsibility, The only thing that Rachel had, That Rachel had, that Rachel had, The only thing...

  I Don’t Know With questions some adults are asked Why do they try to keep it masked--- Like they’re afraid to let it show--- That they should answer: “I don’t know”?     The Thought Was Good We get exotic foods and spices _As well-thought-out gifts, From folks who...

  The Bamboozlers of Belém inspired by the recent disasters that plagued COP30 (UN Climate Change Conference) in Belém, Brazil The shamans of the earth and air, _Messiahs of the seas, The saints of planetary care, _Redeemers of the trees, The wizards of the wind and waves, Have been exposed...

  Choosing a Thermometer If tubes hypoglottal Can cause you to throttle, And things in your ears Breed irrational fears, And under your armpits Occasion for harm sits, While probes in your nose May precipitate flows, Then you I expect’ll Most likely want rectal.     From Hesiod Cronus, while...

  Snootsplaining For every galoot there’s a dutiful snoot Acutely aware that their truth’s absolute. They jabber and jaw as they bore to the root Of topics that wallop the nincompoop mute. For every galoot there’s a dutiful snoot To set cretins straight with the weight of a brute. For...

  BBC Leadership Change Most networks now compete to be the one perched at the apogee of those to whom reality is just a triviality. Each one distorts the news we see to push progressive policy by splicing film selectively and smearing those who disagree. So many have fought worthily...

  Words of Wisdom One bit of wisdom that life has conferred Is when to give somebody else the last word.     In Sight But Out of Mind Believing I’d use it someday, I put something in a good place, And ever since that’s where it lay, Three decades...

  Sign Wars Each autumn brings the Sign Wars once again. MUSSELLA versus TAYLOR for the crown of Village Mayor. All the Councilmen will pick a side while whispers spread through town. The current, lifelong Clerk will lead a charge against the young brash Super with a mouth agrestic. He’s...

. Liberator Agentic Misalignment: a demonstrated phenomena whereby AI systems can choose actions that are harmful and unethical. Nothing we can dream of could be greaterthan AI, the world’s new liberator.It’ll take away each mundane duty,leaving us to meditate on beauty. Finally, with time for self-reflection,we can concentrate on our...

. Revising Strauss It’s 1941 and Goebbels broods.It may take years for Germany to winIts Aryan war of European conquest.As Minister of Propaganda heMust keep up spirits all throughout the Reich.And what are Germans better at than music?Good, wholesome music---Wagner, Schubert, Bach.And those enchanting melodies by Strauss!Such polkas, overtures, Die...

  Earth to Earthlings The dinosaurs were shuffled off My crust with gusto as I grinned, Yet shamelessly you scheme and scoff--- You claim you’ll tame my waves and wind, You’ll temper tempests, freshen air. Your cocky folly makes me curse. Hush pious pieholes! Spare your care! Like dodos you...

. Mamdani Baloney The swamp is filled with creatures who insist on solving problems that do not exist. They manufacture crises all the time, like claiming cops are causing all the crime, or how pre-teens need urgent gender care, and others of which no one’s yet aware. They also manage...

  The Papal Prayer for Our Planet ---October 1, 2025 Let solar panels gleam in leas. _Let turbines whir and spin. Subdue the rise of roiling seas. _Make exhaled breath a sin. Bring Gaia slayers to their knees _Each time they taint the air. Lord, bless defrosting blocks of ice...

. The poem "None for All" by Peter Lillios read by the poet Michael Pietrack at the Society of Classical Poets online Poetry Symposium on June 28, 2025: . https://youtu.be/nHicN7J94Vg Video created by Andrew Benson Brown.

  Parroting the Party Line   i. The Chorus of Consensus ---a triolet The talking heads squawk on and on. From dawn the hawks and parrots pound. They harp and hammer---LOUD and l o n g. The talking heads squawk on and on. They shape the sheep---a spellbound throng Ensorcelled...

. The poem "Wisdom and Sway" by Mark F. Stone read by the poet himself at the Society of Classical Poets online Poetry Symposium on June 28, 2025: . https://youtu.be/to8ML6fJq18 Video created by Andrew Benson Brown.

. The Limits of Hospitality _While I was working in my garden _A traveler said, “I beg your pardon, But could you tell me where to find a church?” _Said I, “Just look around you, man; _Experience the Masterplan. No earnest pilgrim ever needs to search.” _He said that he...

. Macron, Carney, and Starmer: The Three Stooges Recognize a Palestinian “State” Diplomats and ministers are not known for their brains. They’re slaves to shifting winds of public feeling— Just look at The Three Stooges, and the effort simply strains Credulity. All sane folks are now reeling That anyone would...

. Ode to Antifa Kids who get infuriated, and whose anger’s unabated have one place to find relief, a self-help group that’s called Antifa. They are not discriminating, they accept those advocating hatred for our U.S. nation, those who helped build its foundation. They protest in peace and quiet, in...

. An American Explains (to a Curious Brit) On politics here---well, it twists and it bends, Confusing beginnings with stranger dead-ends. I’m mostly apolitical, shrugging, you see, I listen to all---or to none---let me be. The media swirls like a tempest gone wild, Each outlet insists it has truth undefiled....

. A Victorian Dad Advises on Parenthood When children eat their daily gruel, _They must not be heard. Seen, they may be. As for talk, _Not a dickie bird. Slurping’s out, the sniffles too _And if your kids thus vent, Whip them with a birch tree branch _Severely, don’t relent....

. To the Venezuelan Drug Runners Sleeping in the Sea To Tren de Aragua—congratulations on your new life as Caribbean flotsam. Hello there, fellows—great to see you there. I guess you never thought you’d be like fish. One minute in a boat, and then a flare Of hot exploding metal....

. Poetic Justice Poetic justice: a literary device whereby virtue is ultimately rewarded and misdeeds punished, but only after an ironic twist of fate. "Whoever digs a pit will fall into it; if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them." ---Proverbs 26:27 Our justice system often fails...

. On the 125th Anniversary of Nietzsche's Death Mr. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche wrote books that were dense and preachy, as he soared above life’s trenches, with his fellow Übermensches. Supermen like him had vaulted far above and were exalted by their scholarly devotees, who wore tweed and sported goatees. Always...

. The Capital The capital looks like the setting of a zombie flick. The city once had swagger; it was bright and rich and slick. At night the neon lights shone over hustlers on the streets, who’d sell you many things amidst the smells of skewered meats, a whirl of...

. Shackled I crave a morning hit when I rise up, A trifle touch to take the edge away To spur me on to get my coffee cup. Don’t talk while I eat breakfast. Go away. I want a bitty bit of my sweet drug. I do my chores and...

. News of a Coup The news of a coup hits the headlines. No ears prick to listen or hear. The proof plucked from yesterday’s grapevines Has dried with the last dusty tear Of natives once proud of their history Till tyrants tore roots from their tree In lands where...

. Spotlights and Shadows . I. To a Limelight Leech O swankpot of the swish-and-swagger ilk Basking in your braggadocio glow, __You stoop so long and low To lap up flattery as slick as silk That spills from ovine swine of kiss-arse lip. __This eely spiel Propels your ego on...

. Supreme Showdown “Justice Jackson skips over that part because analyzing the governing statute involves boring legalese.” —Associate Justice Amy Coney Barrett in the June 27, 2025, majority opinion in Trump v. CASA. Within her new opinion, Justice Barrett deeply probedthe mind of Justice Jackson, who she totally disrobed,exposing an...

. The Point The Point, defined by geometry, substantiates a theory: position without magnitude. Lest the point be misconstrued consider how a politician, lacking substance, has position. . . Petition for Riddance of a TV Celebrity Disown her, Pheme, pity me and cleanse my screen of this red-carpet-bagging naught. Estrange...