.
Resolve
Much gain involves much pain and we can see,
That discipline is hard, like pumping steam,
Spending each glorious day sowing seeds
Striving all summer to fulfil a dream.
That’s tough, but leads to joy so well deserved,
Delighting in achievements richly earned
So that when mellow autumn comes in haste
Abundant fruit is there to pick and taste.
A life of ease though brings you pain with age,
Regret from wasted years so ill arranged;
Your days devoid of plans, a dearth of deeds
Leads to a barrenness and fields of weeds.
Unmerciful regret will sting and bite
And plagues with a malaise that will not die,
Looks to excuse and sweeten bitter truth
Then when it’s futile to, one thinks, ‘Forsooth
“I think therefore I am” is really just a sham,
Only wise deeds lead to the great “I am.”’
.
.
Maria Panayi was born in Cyprus before the Turkish invasion but now lives in the UK as her former home is under occupation. She is now retired after working for many years supporting children with special education needs.
Maria, this is a precious poem with a beautiful choice of words and ending with the great message on the meaning of life and on living with God in eternity.
Thank you so much for your very thoughtful comment. I really value your opinion and I am so pleased you like the poem.
What a great poem, Maria. That third stanza is especially hard-hitting.
Thanks for the read.
Thank you so much for commenting . I value and appreciate your thoughtful comment.
Maria, your ambitious “Resolve” offers an excellent present-to-future contrast with the “regret” of ill-spent time in the past. I can almost see your struggles to shape the large theme in eighteen lines. The best lines, I believe, are 11 and 12–along with that profound and challenging final couplet.
In order to make the whole poem consistent, I would choose pronouns with personal authority, and really make “Resolve” your very own, by getting rid of inconsistent “we” and “you” and “one.” To do this, and to fix some rhythmic problems, make the following changes and see how you like it.
Line 1 I can see
Line 3 each day of glory
Line 9 ease, though, brings me pain
Line 11 My days
Line 14 plagues me with malaise
Line 16 Then when that’s futile, I will say, “Forsooth,
Line 17 should start ‘I think therefore I am'” with a single quotation mark, and have both a single and a double at the end.
Also leave out “really” (unneeded word, unneeded syllables).
The use of the first person singular “I” in the last two lines is effective, and can be more so if you use first person singular throughout. The speaker works up to a better likeness of the image of God. What a wonderful concept for a poem!
Dear Margaret, thank you for your very valuable feedback. I will try and finish making the changes as I have already started. I am also writing another poem that you might like and wonder if I could send it to you when it is finished . Thank you for always taking the time to help.