Old Man at the River
Old man’s at the river painting the scene.
He’s working on boats and feeling serene.
Unnoticed, a person’s drowning out there
while scents from the food shacks float through the air.
A boat’s coming closer, rescue is near.
The drowner will live to conquer his fear.
The rowboats have oars that swing like the wind.
He paints them so well with paint that’s been thinned.
For houses on hillside he’s been remiss.
Unfinished, the painting still looks like bliss.
He’ll finish tonight in warm sunset glow,
’cause setup’s so long and makes things go slow.
His easel and sketch and paints are there too.
He’s already used most every hue.
He’s racing with time to finish it all.
When darkness arrives, he must heed the call.
Unfettered, his brushes dip into paint
creating a scene that’s looking so quaint.
Fast forward, it’s now beginning of night.
The painter must stop because there’s no light.
Aware that it’s done, he lets out a sigh.
He sees the bright lights of stars in the sky.
Another day ends with quacking of ducks
who chat on a river that’s always in flux.
This gift for his mom is cheery and bright.
He’ll hang in the hallway under the light.
It stays in his home because she has passed.
His tribute to her is finished at last.
He’s satisfied now, exposing his heart.
He sheds all his tears and makes a fresh start.
It’s goodbye to mom, although she’s still here.
Forever, her spirit brings him good cheer.
.
.
Pamela Ruggiero was born in Urbana, Illinois in 1952. She currently resides in Antioch, California.
She was a software engineer and did consultation work in IT. She also played tournament chess at a high level and did oil paintings. She’s now retired.
If I understand correctly, the person drowning out there is an artistic addition to the reality of the scene being painted. I almost visually can see this piece of art and wonder if this is one you have painted yourself, since I noted in your bio that you are a painter. The man painting a picture late in life for his mom adds a melancholy touch to the relative serenity.
Thank you Roy so much for reading and reviewing this poem and for your lovely commments
I admit this is inspired by a painting I did, but my style is primitive, so Evan was not interested at all in my painting. He rejected it because of the painting and then he told me that he wouldn’t be able to use the painting so he found another image
Maybe you can help me I have a lot of trouble responding to more than eight replies. It won’t show me more than that so I can’t respond to more than that because I’m not seeing them. Maybe you can give me a pointer about the site. Thank you again.
A good story of a well-spent day, Pamela. I can understand the man wishing to finish in a single day, because the set-up for painting away from home is cumbersome to pack and carry. I’m not sure I agree with Roy Peterson that the drowning person is in the painting. After all, when the work is finished, it’s a “cheery and bright” gift for mom. I would change line 25 to say “It’ll hang in the hallway.” Sounds rather gruesome to have “he” (the painter) hang in the hallway rather than “it” (the painting). I like your final contrast of his “good-bye” to the mother who always brings her son “good cheer.”
Hi Margaret
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this phone. I don’t know if there’s any way to change the poem once it’s on this site. I’d like to take a look at your suggestion and change it if I agree. I’m pretty sure I will agree because I think you’re a great poet
I think I prefer
It hangs in the hallway
because it keeps my meter. Do you think that’s OK?
And if you do, can you tell me how to edit this to change it because you made a very good observation
Thank you
Hi again. I can see only the first three reviews. I’ve had this problem with other poems. Is there a trick to getting to see all the reviews? Last time I could see 6 to 8 of them. This time I can only see three.
If you can help me, I would sure appreciate it
Hi again. I guess I am a pest today. Did you mean that someone was changing the poem when you say it’s in moderation right now?
That would be great thank you
Hi, Pamela. I hope you can see this! To change a poem published on the site, send an e-mail to [email protected] and ask Mike Bryant, the site moderator, to make the change (“please change line 26 to begin with ‘It hangs'”).
About how much you can see, it may depend on your computer settings. I would ask a friend or neighbor to look at your screen along with you and suggest what to do. Hope it’s a simple fix!
That was different – in a good way. Instead of describing the painting, you were being the guy in the painting, painting the painting!
Love it!
I found the poem a bit comically noir, yet the ending became a bit too serious for me. Even so, I enjoyed this piece immensely.
Thanks for the read, Pamela.
Hi Paul
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this poem I appreciate it
I had to look noir up at the dictionary. I had heard it before, but I never knew what it meant. Sounds like it’s gruesome, but when you say in a comical way, maybe it’s the person drowning that gruesome or the dead mother.
But thank you for reviewing anyway have a good day