.

The Restoration

—for SJB

Words sometimes fail. How best explain
That life can seem eternal rain?
That though friends care they cannot see
Or grasp this wilderness of pain?

Is this in truth how life must be?
This drowning in a silent sea?
This rack and screw, this raw negation
Which threatens hope and sanity?

It’s time to end this tribulation,
The loneliness, the desolation,
The woes of this stained world of men—
And, like lost kings, find Restoration:

To see some beauty now and then;
To sing out a renewed “amen;”
To heed the Muse—to take a pen
And grab the chance to live again.

.

.

Quo Vadis?

a rondeau

I want to go where hope’s restored—
Where searing hate is not adored;
Some haven from the vicious woe
Inflicted by Man’s ancient foe.
O, let me hide behind the Lord!

My former friends warn I’m abhorred
And now should flee their savage horde.
Such pain! Where peace like rivers flow
__I want to go.

But comfort is a false reward
When Heaven bids me “Raise your sword
At devils, though they bray and crow!”
Where souls and strength and valor grow—
Where righteous angels have long soared—
__I want to go.

.

.

Brian Yapko is a retired lawyer whose poetry has appeared in over fifty journals.  He is the winner of the 2023 SCP International Poetry Competition. Brian is also the author of several short stories, the science fiction novel El Nuevo Mundo and the gothic archaeological novel  Bleeding Stone.  He lives in Wimauma, Florida.

NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets.

The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary.

 

***Read Our Comments Policy Here***

 

39 Responses

  1. Russel Winick

    Brian – These are both hauntingly good. You are a terrific poet. Do us all a favor, and keep them coming!

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      Russel, this is such a generous remark! Thank you. It means a lot to me. I will endeavor to keep writing so long as readers as kind as you are willing to put up with me. Somehow it’s in my heart to keep going.

      Reply
  2. Patricia Redfern

    Brian, adored.p…..
    Such a magical write, the rondeau!
    Your rondeau, touched me,
    A favorite!

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      Thank you so much, Patricia. I’m glad you enjoyed the rondeau which has become one of my favorite forms. It requires a fair amount of tinkering which I find both fun and challenging. I can only attempt them on subjects which really move me.

      Reply
  3. Roy Eugene Peterson

    Brian, these are two great poems of sentiment and deep feelings you chose to share with us and we are the better for it. The rhyme scheme of picking up the third line rhyme and using it in triplicate in the next verse in “The Restoration” is masterful and memorable. It seems to me you found your own soulful restoration in writing poetry as indicated by the concluding lines, “To heed the Muse—to take a pen–And grab the chance to live again.” Similarly, in “Quo Vadis,” I detect an undercurrent of someone whose former friends have vented wrath upon them for some stance or circumstance while the writer (which I infer from the Sword in the poem) refuses to bow before their hatred and takes a stand for their beliefs.

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      Roy, thank you so much for your insightful and appreciative comment. “Sentiment” and “deep feelings” is accurate — and not just for myself. I have to say that you really do hit the nail on the head when addressing “soulful restoration” through writing. I find that my writing is a way not only of getting to the bottom of things emotionally or intellectually but is a powerful way of engaging with my Creator. I’m sure I’m not alone in this.

      As for “Quo Vadis?” — I confess that this is pretty much autobiographical and does indeed ponder both friends and family who have canceled me. How can that not hurt? But these are fractious times and it seems like a great many of us are being forced to make a moral stand even at great sacrifice. Relationships matter a great deal. But there is no substitute for being right with God — and there is no excuse to not be.

      Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      Michael, thank you so much for saying this. It brought tears to my eyes.

      Reply
  5. Mark Stellinga

    As you succinctly convey with these 2 excellent pieces, Brian, our lives today are well past the point where begging the bully to ‘please quit beating us up’ manages to clear the path to where those who share such sentiments ‘want to go’. I’m a devout ‘sword-raiser’, as are both you and SJB – and as countless poetry connoisseurs know, Susan – who’s as good as it gets in this department, has provided far more than her share of kindling for our fire. Well done.

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      Thank you so much, Mark, for both the appreciation and the inspiration! Yes, we need to raise our swords (figuratively, you realize!) to fight for what is right. Submitting to bullies is no solution and just results in further and further loss of values, of culture, of sanity. We must, of course, rely on faith to some degree but, as I’m fond of quoting, we must “praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.”

      Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      I fully agree, Mark, about Susan’s exceptional bravery. She repeatedly puts herself out there on issues which are controversial politically but in which she clearly possesses the moral high ground. And she has suffered for the effort more than once. There are many forms of bravery and she is a fine example of that rare combination of decency and extraordinary talent.

      Reply
  6. Joseph S. Salemi

    When Russel Winick says that these are “hauntingly good,” he pre-empts any praise that I could give. I sense in them deep pain and longing, but also a furious determination to hang on and fight.

    The poems make a wonderful pair — the first calling for a restoration of order and sanity in a world gone mad, and the second rejecting the natural tendency to run and hide, calling instead for combat.

    The first, dedicated to our own Susan Bryant, talks of the need to work for restoration via the creation of beautiful and well-crafted poems, as Susan has always done. The rondeau calls for confronting the forces of evil with the sword. I think what we have here is Brian’s answer to the old saying “The pen is mightier than the sword.” Taken as a pair, these poems argue that those two instruments are equal. We need them both.

    Brian (like all of us in this polarized country) has suffered from the loss of friends and colleagues infected with left-liberalism and wokeness. There is no denying that this is unpleasant and sometimes shattering. But as long as we have pens and swords, we can fight back effectively.

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      I very much appreciate this generous comment, Joe. You have nailed the blend of emotions which went into the drafting of these pieces. They were not originally contemplated as a set until I realized that both manifest something of an emotional journey from discouragement and despair to defiance and a renewed sense of purpose. I’m glad you approve the pairing!

      I was very glad to dedicate The Restoration to Susan. She has faced health challenges that I find to be formidable and although I know that she has experienced some of the discouragement I reference, I also know her to be a consummate fighter. That spirit of bravery, defiance and hope — good old-fashioned pluck and moxie — inspire me frequently. I wanted to capture that spirit in simply, unembellished poetry.

      “The pen and the sword.” Well, yes. To me that means “words coupled with action.” History is full of hand-wringers who write pretty things but who accomplish little. Similarly, history is full of those who act but don’t put adequate thought behind their actions. We do indeed need both.

      Lastly, you are quite perceptive to note the personal qualities of both of these poems, but especially Quo Vadis. As you well know, Joe, most of my life has been spent on the left side of the political divide. Republicans were uneducated, uncompassionate boors who were either easily deceived or corrupt. How strange the journey of mind and heart that has led me to realize that the best and most thoughtful people I know are conservatives and that liberals are some of the most evil. That realization has cost me much in terms of lost friendships and estranged family members. The funny thing is, they don’t want to hear about my experiences or thought processes even though I’m a reasonably sensitive and intelligent person with a better-than-average grasp of history. The minute I made the decision not to be on the left anymore I became the deluded enemy — someone to be condescended to, pitied, punished and canceled. God forbid they actually recognized the possibility that they might not have all the answers or — gasp! — that they might be wrong about a few things.

      Reply
  7. Mike Bryant

    Brian, these are really beautiful. They work together to show the things that we are all fighting against, along with the answer to the anguish. Keep working and keep telling the truth.

    “Quo Vadis” reminded me of something I’ve almost forgotten. Fifty some odd years ago in South, South Texas, a friend of mine spotted me and asked, ‘Hey, ¿Dónde vas?’
    I said, ‘To see a play at the high school.’
    He said, ‘What play?’
    I said, ‘Quo Vadis, man’
    He said, ‘Huh?’
    I said, ‘It means, Where Ya Going?’
    He said, ‘I guess I’ll go to the play with you.’

    Reply
      • Brian Yapko

        Julian, I totally agree! There may actually be a poem in that brief but hilarious exchange. Given how somber the two poems are, this comic relief is much appreciated. Thank you, Mike!

    • Brian Yapko

      Mike, thank you for your generosity and support. And while I’m at it, thank you for the hard work and attention you give to the Society of Classical Poets every single day as you moderate and edit and field lots of interesting poetic issues. You make it look easy. I hate to be greedy, but I also miss seeing your poetry up here and would like to see more! You’re a formidable poet with an important voice.

      Reply
  8. LAURA R. SCHWARTZ

    Brian, your Friends and Admirers will always hold high an umbrella to praise and protect you from life’s “eternal rain”.
    Your passion for truth, wrapped in words of beauty, never fails us. May your pen as righteous sword always prevail.
    Bravo.

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      Laura, this comment is very precious to me. Thank you so much for your kindness and friendship. I will try to keep that metaphoric sword inked up and primed… and out of the rain!

      Reply
  9. Adam Sedia

    “The Restoration” offers words of encouragement to us all, and reminds us why we write in the first place. I forget which author said it, but a writers writes because he must write — he was made for it. That’s what I think you touch on in your piece; we are incomplete if we fail to do what we were made for.

    I like the rondeau form because of its haunting, echo-like repeated coda. You’ve done the form justice with your coda in “Quo vadis?” — “I want to go.” Indeed. It is at once hopeful and longing, almost death-seeking (which, in a sense, it is — though it seeks eternity, not death per se).

    Thank you for sharing these.

    Reply
    • Julian D. Woodruff

      As Schoenberg put it: “Art arises not from ability, but from necessity.” (“Die Kunst stammt nicht von Koennen, sondern von Muessen.”)

      Reply
      • Brian Yapko

        That’s an exceptionally great way of describing the drive to create, Julian. I know very little about Schoenberg other than he championed atonality (not a fan) and that he taught at UCLA where I got my B.A. I took music classes at Schoenberg Hall (named in his honor) so I really should get to know him better.

    • Brian Yapko

      Adam, I’m so grateful for this comment — not just its generosity but its depth. You get to the heart of why those of us who are writers are driven to write. We were made for it. We have to express ourselves and our subjective understanding of what it means to be human — the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. Or, perhaps, the profound. Or even the silly. The fact of the matter is: writers must write and we must be free to do so to the full flowering of our self-expression wherever the Muse may lead us. I’m blown away by your simple words, though: “we are incomplete if we fail to do what we were made for.” That is a very powerful statement of purpose.

      Thank you also for your words about Quo Vadis. The rondeau is a tricky form and, as I stated in another comment above, to meet its challenge in terms of tinkering with limited rhymes and use of repetends the subject matter really does need to matter to the poet. I’m glad you find that my piece does justice to the form.

      As for your attention to that final “I want to go” repetend, this seems a good place to briefly touch on the title question “Where are you going?” This is by Christian tradition the very question Peter asks the risen Christ who has suddenly appeared on the Appian Way as Peter is fleeing Rome to escape Nero’s persecution and slaughter of Christians. Christ answers that he is going to Rome to be crucified again. This statement convicts Peter and gives him the courage to return to Rome and accept his own martyrdom. The repetends in conjunction with the title and its associations suggest that the answer to the question implicit in the poem: “where am I going? where do I want to go?” is a spiritual one. You correctly identify it as eternity, not death. In other words, Heaven.

      Reply
  10. Robin Trombino

    Brian, you have a beautiful way with words. In “The Restoration” where you write that life can seem eternal rain, reminded me of life’s cycle of ups and downs. I really appreciate your creativity and talent. Those were lovely poems, thank you for sharing them!

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      Robin, I’m so grateful for this beautiful comment. Life can indeed feel like eternal rain but it’s people like you who make it all feel worthwhile!

      Reply
  11. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    Brian, these admirably and beautifully crafted poems stand alone magnificently (and what a gift it is to have the first one in my honor) but as a pair they shine. I love the way you depict a tough journey in very different tones. “Restoration” feels more personal, “Quo Vadis” more spiritual. Yet both lead to an oh so satisfying conclusion.

    I am taken with the descriptions of suffering in the first – “eternal rain”, “drowning in a silent sea” “rack and screw”, “raw negation” – all sum up the cruelty of pain vividly… and I love the contrast after the turn, “It’s time to end this tribulation” – a firm and determined turn. The poem goes from despair to beauty in the last stanza – a beauty that shimmers with hope and encouragement. I especially love the closing couplet. What better way to mend one’s broken days than creating something of beauty, just as you have in this poem. This is a poem that speaks of pushing through the pain to a path of purpose and renewal, and it sings to me loudly, clearly, and gloriously. Brian – thank you so very much.

    “Quo Vadis” sings to my heart too, in one of my favorite forms no less – a form which really suits the message. The repeating line is especially effective – it emphasizes that yearning to break free from a soul-destroying situation to a place of hope and fairness, a place where “searing hate is not adored” (a great line!). I can relate to that inner battle “Such pain! Where peace like rivers flow / I want to go” contrasting starkly with, “But comfort is a false reward / When Heaven bids me “Raise your sword / At devils, though they bray and crow!”” speaks directly to my heart, and the glory of the closing three lines lets me know exactly why.

    Brian, both poems (in their unique way) make me realize the significance of expressing ourselves to the very best of our ability – and for poets, that is their calling. It’s very easy to slip into silence when one is in pain (physically, mentally, or both). Your heartfelt, beautiful, and encouraging words make me want to pick up my pen and slay the demons, and for that I thank you wholeheartedly. Brian, keep on doing what you do – it makes a difference – a much-needed difference in a wicked world, especially to those who have lost “friends” simply because they have minds and hearts of their own.

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      Susan, you must realize how thrilled I am that these poems have pleased you – especially The Restoration which is dedicated to one of my favorite living poets — someone whose friendship and support mean a great to me. The Restoration, although somewhat generalized, took inspiration from the medical challenges you have been facing now for over half a year – not just the struggle but your astonishing courage and pluck in the face of it – your refusal to let it break you or your spirit. You have gifted me with a metaphor for the challenges we face in muddling through a diseased world which reeks of toxic ideologies and poisonous socio-political trends. Your experience offers a lesson so many of us need right now – to rise above the muck, roll up our sleeves and get to work. You make it look easy but I know better. Thank you for showing us how it’s done.

      I’m forever grateful to you for introducing me to the rondeau form. When you let me know I’ve got it right, it feels like a special gift. I’m pleased that Quo Vadis sings to your heart. This one is truly emotionally mine in terms of the feelings of rejection and the need to stand up and speak out anyway, no matter what. But while the hurt is mine, I believe there are many of us who relate to it and who have suffered similar losses – relationships, friendships, community. My soul’s well-being necessarily comes before my comfort.

      Lastly, you clearly recognize that — beyond the beauty — both poems demand open, uncensored and unself-conscious expression. I believe you and I are on the same page here – along with several other poets on the SCP – in terms of resolving to express ourselves to the very best of our ability regarding what we see and think. This is not necessarily a call to Justice or Holiness or Message – poetry can often be simply entertaining, silly, even perverse. But it is a call to share ideas and aesthetics and emotions and all manner of human things — to speak out without being bullied or shamed into silence. With that in mind, I must close, Susan, repeating the words you just said to me: “keep on doing what you do – it makes a difference – a much-needed difference in a wicked world, especially to those who have lost “friends” simply because they have minds and hearts of their own.” Susan, thank you You speak to – and for – both of us.

      Reply
  12. Mike Bryant

    Hey Brian, as I was rereading these two beauties, I was reminded of this:
    He is a man of courage who does not run away, but remains at his post and fights against the enemy. – Socrates

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      Thank you so much for the kind comment and the reminder Mike. I’ve never read Socrates but I am a strong believer in doing one’s duty and to know the difference between a “commitment” and a “convenience.” I generally dislike it when poets refer back to their own work as if it were somehow authoritative, but I’m going to violate my own rule just this one time to recall my Miles Fidelis poem — the faithful soldier. https://classicalpoets.org/2023/12/miles-fidelis-the-faithful-soldier-and-other-poetry-by-brian-yapko/ To dutifully stay at one’s post even as a volcano is erupting around you… that’s true stoic dedication!

      Reply
  13. Julian D. Woodruff

    2 to remember, for sure. They are by Brian, and bear the stamp of his expertise and polish. But even more, they are of Brian: while universal in appeal, they are personal and immediate–and powerful.
    Thank you, Brian.

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      Thank you very much indeed, Julian! I am not only thrilled by your comment on the craft, but by your recognition of my personal emotional investment in these works. But then we all put parts of ourselves in our work, don’t we? Sometimes writing poetry can feel like letting blood from a vein.

      Reply
  14. Yael

    This is marvelous word art, congratulations Brian on your beautiful poems which are a joy to read. I like the hope which is expressed, even though the trials of life are neither whitewashed nor diminished in each poem.

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      Thank you so much, Yael. While poetry does not necessarily demand hope as its reward (and often does not), it is important to me in my own work to try to find that place where the sun shines through even when it seems impossibly hidden. Finding hope despite the trials of life is what I believe in and it matters to me to be able to share that. I’m glad and grateful that generous readers like you respond to that.

      Reply
  15. Cynthia Erlandson

    I’m sorry to be late to the party, Brian — but I definitely agree that these two poems are exquisitely done, in beauty and truth — and on a painful subject courageously faced.

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      I’m so glad that you liked this work, James. That means a lot to me.

      Reply
  17. Dan Tuton

    Brian, once again you’ve masterfully plied your craft. The “Restoration” reference (with a capital ‘R’) was not lost on me, nor was the Hebrew “so be it.” I can so relate to the inner battle of when to accept and when to fight that rings out in both poems. When I was 18 years old I took a beginning creative writing class at UC Davis, in which I wrote a (ham-fisted) historical fiction short story which I titled “Live by the Pen”, that attempted to illustrate this struggle. It presaged an ongoing theme in my life. I, for one, am delighted that you’ve heeded the Muse and remain committed to taking up the pen, and find life in doing so.

    Reply
    • Brian Yapko

      Thank you very much indeed, Fr. Dan! I’m glad that you relate to that “inner battle” and what it takes to keep going. Your historical fiction story sounds really interesting. I would love to read it some time if you ever feel like sharing it. Glad and grateful that you also have “heeded the Muse.”

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.