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Home Poetry

‘Big Pharma Ads Are Everywhere’: A Poem by Roy E. Peterson

May 6, 2025
in Poetry, Satire
A A
22
photo of medicine (public domain)

photo of medicine (public domain)

.

Big Pharma Ads Are Everywhere

Big Pharma ads are everywhere
__Suffusing my TV.
They fail to give me confidence
__that they are right for me.
They start with all the maladies
__their medicine is for.
Then give the possibilities
__of dangers I abhor.

The list of all the side effects
__are laid on us real thick.
The hypochondriac would say,
__“It’s enough to make me sick.”
One says to stick a needle in
__my eye each month or so,
says it could hurt my retina,
__and leave me blind also.

One says it might cause headaches and
__may give me a high fever.
Another: damage my gall bladder
__perhaps destroy liver.
One tells you check to make sure you
__don’t have tuberculosis.
One warns you to beware if you have
__coronary thrombosis.

One says stop taking it if breathless
__or feel light in the head.
One seems to say stop taking it
__if you are pronounced dead.
After listing all the problems
__these drugs could soon create,
They say talk to your doctor then,
__ask for a med update.

I will not give the names of them
__for I could get in trouble.
I’m sure their legal beagles would
__then leave my life in rubble.
They try to spin it positively;
__ignore their legalese.
They think the doctor will prescribe
__whatever it is you please.

.

.

LTC Roy E. Peterson, US Army Military Intelligence and Russian Foreign Area Officer (Retired) has published more than 6,200 poems in 88 of his 112 books. He has been an Army Attaché in Moscow, Commander of INF Portal Monitoring in Votkinsk, first US Foreign Commercial Officer in Vladivostok, Russia and Regional Manager in the Russian Far East for IBM. He holds a BA, Hardin-Simmons University (Political Science); MA, University of Arizona (Political Science); MA, University of Southern California (Int. Relations) and MBA University of Phoenix. He taught at the University of Arizona, Western New Mexico University, University of Maryland, Travel University and the University of Phoenix.

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Comments 22

  1. Mark Stellinga says:
    2 years ago

    A delightful riot, Roy. 🙂 We’re definitely on the same page here. And every few days an amazing weight control product is introduced that always, only because it’s required by law, sneaks into the super-fine print at the bottom of the ad their explanation that “with a proper diet and regular exercise” their revolutionary product will help you thin down! How about that! A clever and well done indictment of Big Pharma. Gotta run – time to take my meds!

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      You are so right about those weight loss pills. That would make a great addition to the poem. I decided to add a penultimate verse to my poem thanks to your comment:

      Now there are many weight loss pills
      designed to make one thinner.
      I suppose I’d have to take the pill
      sometime after dinner.
      The truth is in the fine print
      that says “exercise and diet.”
      I do not have to take the pill
      and have no need to buy it.

      Now time for my own meds!

      Reply
      • Mark Stellinga says:
        2 years ago

        With what this added one tells me, Roy, I gather you’re a skinny old fart! A very fitting addition, and I appreciate the attribution 🙂 Be well –

        Reply
  2. Warren Bonham says:
    2 years ago

    Great Big Pharma exposé. I’m certain you won’t be surprised to hear that they spend the most every year lobbying our politicians in Washington.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      You are so right, Warren. Thank you for the kind comment.

      Reply
  3. Joseph S. Salemi says:
    2 years ago

    Big Pharma is a conspiracy of greed-driven thieves.

    They have discovered (and carefully patented and concealed) cures for several diseases and conditions. They will not put them into production because they do not favor cures on principle. They would much rather provide “treatments” which palliate symptoms but which are required to be used by the patient on a permanent basis. This means that the patient becomes a regular source of income for them.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      Thank you, Dr. Salemi, for that excellent comment and support.

      Reply
  4. Paul A. Freeman says:
    2 years ago

    My grandad, who had Type 1 diabetes (brought on by the sudden shock of being told by a hospital doorman his wife had just died in childbirth) and was a great fan of the Canadian Sir Fredrick G. Banting, who was instrumental in the discovering the importance of insulin and how to synthesise it.

    Quoting from a website: ‘On 23 January 1923, Banting, Collip and Best were awarded U.S. patents on insulin and the method used to make it. They all sold these patents to the University of Toronto for $1 each. Banting famously said, “Insulin does not belong to me, it belongs to the world.” He wanted everyone who needed it to have access to it.’

    Look how that worked out.

    Thanks for bringing big pharma to the for, Roy.

    Reply
    • Joseph S. Salemi says:
      2 years ago

      This reminds me of how Dr. Jonas Salk, who developed the first effective anti-polio vaccine in 1955, refused to make any personal profit off the discovery, but instead made the formula for it freely available to the entire world.

      Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      Good points, Paul and Dr. Salemi. Such altruism seems to elude us these days.

      Reply
  5. Gigi Ryan says:
    2 years ago

    Dear Roy,

    “Legal beagles” had me chuckling. It is always good to find a way to laugh about vexing truths. Thank you for this.
    Gigi

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      Bless you, Gigi, for liking that phrase and laughing with me about the truths.

      Reply
  6. Jeff Eardley says:
    2 years ago

    Roy, I love the”tuberculosis” “thrombosis” rhymes, and as for sticking needles in the eyes, I think I will take, as you say on your side of the pond, “a rain check!”
    A very cheeky and highly amusing piece. Hope it doesn’t get you into any bother.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      Thank you for the approving comments, Jeff. No eye needles! Agreed! I know your sense of humor matches.

      Reply
  7. Margaret Coats says:
    2 years ago

    Thanks, Roy, for bringing up the subject of these ads tempting persons to ask doctors to prescribe more and more. Anyone over 50 already has a tray full of medications prescribed not because the patient needs them, but to protect doctors from lawsuits should anyone suffer things supposedly prevented by “standard-of-care” drugs. The “standard-of-care” being pharmaceutical, doctors rarely consider how lifestyle changes or natural remedies might help. If you want that kind of advice, which is often quite beneficial (including an effort to get the person off drugs with many undesirable side effects and unknown interactions) you get little guidance from the medical profession.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      Margaret, you really provided great insight as to what is happening with pharmacology solutions compared to natural ones that may actually be more beneficial. As my daily tray of drugs now seems to be overflowing, I am starting to do more research and counter-questioning my doctors about the benefits of what they prescribed and how to resolve various ailments with more minimalist treatments. I have already jettisoned one drug recently prescribed and am contemplating two more for deletion. You are so right about doctor’s having their best interests at heart as much as the patient’s.

      Reply
  8. Cynthia L Erlandson says:
    2 years ago

    Very amusing (and accurate) take on a serious issue, Roy. Those ads drive me crazy. I believe a lot of drugs could be avoided by healthy lifestyle choices, as Margaret mentioned. And doctors — there are a few good ones — shouldn’t be manipulated into giving people drugs that, if not for these ads, they wouldn’t even know about.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      Thank you, Cynthia, for the kind comments. I understand drug companies also lobby doctors and that adds to the problem of prescriptions.

      Reply
  9. C.B. Anderson says:
    2 years ago

    No one needs to worry about the side-effects because they are already working on cures for those. Just put up your money, and don’t complain. Big Pharma is watching out for you. Thanks, Roy.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      I love and respect your cynicism, C.B. Perfect comment!

      Reply
  10. Brian Yapko says:
    1 year ago

    Excellent poetry, Roy, which shines a spotlight on an industry which has abused the public by creating a perpetual motion machine of dependency and abuse. Big Pharma (with the cooperation of a certain category of doctor) has created a massive population of addicts of narcotic drugs like oxycodone and vicodin. When I handled workers compensation cases in Los Angeles, the number of clients who became addicted to their pain meds was astonishing. We all need our medication, it’s true. But Big Pharma acts a lot like the cigarette companies did in the 1960s and early 1970s — all too eager to create a permanent customer base.

    Reply
  11. Russel Winick says:
    1 year ago

    Roy – Thanks for a very meaningful and thought (and comment!) provoking poem!

    Reply

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