. À La Mode In Antarctica The boffins in Antarctica are well Adapted to the climate on the ice. Among the most exclusive personnel, For stylish kit they pay a tidy price. To wow the penguins and to look their best They wear top-flight designer gear. Forget The rest, the long johns and the thermal vest, Rucksack and anorak. The egg-head set Profess finesse expressly to impress: Pink top-hat, tails, skink shoes and lustrous mink With aigrette feathers, ostrich plumes and dress In cloth of gold. The penguins shrink to see Such panoply, the penguin suit they think To be the fashion statement’s apogee. . . The Problem with Penguins So many penguins in Antarctica Still seem to think they own the continent. Because they brood for ages standing bent They often get severe sciatica. Their cousins live in South America, And consequently they’re incontinent. To find out more consult the eminent Encyclopaedia Britannica. Most of the penguins in Antarctica Are very partial to eschscholtzia. Alas, you see the plant (it’s news to me) Is only found in North America. But should you ever need to spell it see The Shorter Oxford English Diction’ry. . . Peter Hartley is a retired painting restorer. He was born in Liverpool and lives in Manchester, UK.