"Dictionary" by Jan Versteeg‘Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliaphobia’ by Mike Bryant The Society May 3, 2021 Culture, Humor, Poetry, Readings 33 Comments . https://classicalpoets.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliaphobia-by-Mike-Bryant.mp3 “To indulge in hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian tergiversation is not to show your erudition: rather, it is to be superficial.” —Steven George Krantz Thalamic tarantismLed to tachyphagia…Ventripotential schism,Perhaps a slight dysphasia? My nudiustertian hike Featured pogonotomy.This mumpsimus is likeA walking botched lobotomy. Hippopotomonstro-sesquipedalianism,It sounds like an animal, thoughIt’s what every animal isn’t. It is, in fact, the art ofTomfoolery by use ofHuge words right at the start ofA game I can’t let loose of. And so, my greatest woe,With not a great prognosis,Is hippopotomonstro-sesquipedalianosis. From top to down belowI’m a sad, compunctious sight…A hippopotomonstro-sesquipedalianite. And, yes, I’ve tried to quit it.I’m beaten and admit it. . . Mike Bryant is a poet and retired plumber living on the Gulf Coast of Texas. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Trending now: 33 Responses Russel Winick May 3, 2021 Good work Mike! Must have driven spellcheck crazy! Reply Mike Bryant May 3, 2021 Russel… those words are definitely NOT in my spellcheck… and I ain’t adding ‘em either. Thanks… Reply Julian D. Woodruff May 3, 2021 Good thing I wasn’t typing it up! Susan Jarvis Bryant May 3, 2021 Julian, never mind typing it up… I’ve heard Mike reading it… beautifully, I might add… he puts all my poetic skills to shame! Russel Winick May 3, 2021 I’ll bet the Bryant household is a lively place for literarily inclined neighbors to hang out! Susan Jarvis Bryant May 3, 2021 Russel, there’s only a few rules in the Bryant household. Arrive with a bottle of cheer and a smile, and always speak in rhyming couplets… what could possibly go wrong? 🙂 Reply Jeff Eardley May 3, 2021 Mike, this is quite brilliant. It starts to make sense after a quaff or two of good wine. All the retired plumbers I know have a job to string a sentence together, never mind anything like this. Great stuff and totally bonkers, thank you. Reply Mike Bryant May 3, 2021 Jeff… I must say that since no one has seen many of these words, or pronounced them, there are actually three stresses, or long syllables per line. I only wish I were tech savvy enough to record the way this ridiculous verse SHOULD be read. Brilliant? Perhaps brilliant nonsense. Thanks… I’ll have a couple of tipples and see if it I can fathom the deeper meanings. Thanks. Reply Norma Okun May 3, 2021 Very funnymumpous Reply Mike Bryant May 3, 2021 Thank you, Norma! Reply Gail May 3, 2021 Oh dear! I’m not looking up any of these. Using what I know of latin roots to make guesses though. Along these same lines, I can recommend ‘Cattus Petasatus’ qui libellus est a Doctore Seuss. The restored classical works beautifully, and we all already know the rhythm. I can’t make it through without laughing to tears, and I don’t–as a habit–drink! Reply Mike Bryant May 3, 2021 Gotta check out ‘Cattus Petasatus.’ Thanks. Reply Yael May 3, 2021 It’s like a fun little walk on the wacky side. I’m glad you added the audio or I wouldn’t have found my way through it. I’m meeting some of these words for the first time ever. Reply Mike Bryant May 3, 2021 Thanks, Yael… I haven’t forgotten about the bluegrass version of ‘The Enemy Within.’ Can’t wait to hear the entire glorious production. Susan and I would love to see some bluegrass lyrics posted as poems. Reply Sally Cook May 3, 2021 Susan — My husband used to know an old sailor named Edelbert Arnold, whose favorite axiom was THE WORLD HAS GONE MAD, and now, — yours has proven it !! Where did we find these guys, anyway? If only there were more of them. Reply Mike Bryant May 3, 2021 Sally, you have nailed it. I’m afraid that Susan has also become a hippomonstro-sesquipedaliaholic. In fact, I’ve composed a new penultimate verse… I think I’m turning into, no, I’m being hyperbolic, A hippopotomonstro- sesquipedaliaholic. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant May 3, 2021 Dearest Sally, see comments below – as ever, you are absolutely spot on! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant May 3, 2021 Mike, you’ve thrown down the gauntlet. My next poem is Welsh and entitled: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch 😉 Reply Mike Bryant May 3, 2021 Nice try… but that’s only the second longest place name in the world. The first is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu, New Zealand. All I have to do is learn Maori. Give me a couple of weeks… x Kei te tatari te moana ki ahau, I ahau e tatari ana ki a koe. mau ahau ki a koe i roto i toku ngakau. Aroha ahau ki a koe. Reply Gail May 4, 2021 Welsh is completely confounding! Even if you recognize which combinations of letters represent a phoneme, you only pronounce one-third to one-half them. I’m whipped. Reply BRIAN YAPKO May 4, 2021 Mike, this poem is hilarious! I may well need therapy now for my reactivated fear of long words, as well as a dentist for the TMJ that I got making the attempt to recite these intimidating words out loud. Your recording is especially impressive as you wrap your tongue around these rather juicy words with such dignity! And am I the only one having flashbacks of Mary Poppins singing “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”?” Reply Gail May 4, 2021 Not anymore! Thank you for that; I needed a new earworm. (I’ve had ‘Adventure is Out There!’ by AJR going through my head for two days. Dare ya to go listen to that!) Reply Mike Bryant May 4, 2021 Thanks, Brian. I had a lot of fun putting it together. Had these words in notes for years, then a few days ago thought… heck I’m gonna versify those puppies. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Reply Jeff Eardley May 4, 2021 Mike, just caught the audio of this masterpiece of yours which clarifies everything. When I was at school, our biggest word was, “antidisestablishmentarianism” which spelt backwards could be another Welsh railway station. Great to read and hear and as our legendary English wordsmith, professor Stanley Unwin might have put it, “All-time sometime deep joy of a full moon, scintyladen dangly in the heavenly mode.” Reply Mike Bryant May 4, 2021 Jeff, I realized after Evan posted the poem that it was too difficult to imagine without hearing it read first. After a little searching, I found an online recorder so you could hear the stresses. I’m glad it worked out… to a degree. 🙂 Thanks. Reply Do You Dice May 4, 2021 Wow, what a mouth full but great read! Reply Mike Bryant May 4, 2021 Thanks, DYD. Reply Sally Cook May 4, 2021 Mike – I have Welsh ancestors who settled in Delaware and built a house they called Fox Hall, donated to the American Revolution, and refused to learn English; conducting all their business in an Engtlish speaking country) in WELSH!! Can you or Susan, or both, explain this to me? How did they: buy food and other necessaries Meet and marry Build a house Speak to their children and/or grandchildren? I’m serious; these and other questions have kept me awake some nights when I have nothing more serious troubling me. Reply Mike Bryant May 4, 2021 Sally, I did a quick look at some of the history of Delaware. I think that Fox Hall is in or near Dover. Dover is within a long ride of New Castle County where there was a huge Welsh settlement. I’m no historian, however living in South Texas, I know and know of many Spanish speaking immigrants that do all of the things you mention with no problem at all. Just my quick take but I feel sure there were plenty of recent Welsh settlers that communicated with your ancestors. Reply Sally Cook May 5, 2021 Mike, thanks so much for taking the trouble to look my relatives up. All I was able to find was a general feeling among distant cousins that the Welsh love gardening, poetry and alcohol. Hmm. Even my mother, whose motg her was one of that tribe, was told that she was born on St. David’s day (patron saint of Wales) and on that day Welshmen pinned daffodils to their lapels. Thanks again. Now I will be able to get half a night’s sleep. Sally Cook May 5, 2021 Mike, thanks so much for taking the trouble to look my relatives up. All I was able to find was a general feeling among distant cousins that the Welsh love gardening, poetry and alcohol. Hmm. Even my mother, whose mother was one of that tribe, was told that she was born on St. David’s day (patron saint of Wales) and on that day Welshmen pinned daffodils to their lapels. Thanks again. Now I will be able to get half a night’s sleep. Reply Mike Bryant May 5, 2021 You’re welcome… it was fun. Reply Daniel Kemper May 10, 2021 Late to the game, as usual of late, I thoroughly enjoyed the word play. God help us if the biochemists get involved and thrown down the glove — all their words are arbitrarily long by nature!! Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Mike Bryant May 3, 2021 Russel… those words are definitely NOT in my spellcheck… and I ain’t adding ‘em either. Thanks… Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant May 3, 2021 Julian, never mind typing it up… I’ve heard Mike reading it… beautifully, I might add… he puts all my poetic skills to shame!
Russel Winick May 3, 2021 I’ll bet the Bryant household is a lively place for literarily inclined neighbors to hang out!
Susan Jarvis Bryant May 3, 2021 Russel, there’s only a few rules in the Bryant household. Arrive with a bottle of cheer and a smile, and always speak in rhyming couplets… what could possibly go wrong? 🙂 Reply
Jeff Eardley May 3, 2021 Mike, this is quite brilliant. It starts to make sense after a quaff or two of good wine. All the retired plumbers I know have a job to string a sentence together, never mind anything like this. Great stuff and totally bonkers, thank you. Reply
Mike Bryant May 3, 2021 Jeff… I must say that since no one has seen many of these words, or pronounced them, there are actually three stresses, or long syllables per line. I only wish I were tech savvy enough to record the way this ridiculous verse SHOULD be read. Brilliant? Perhaps brilliant nonsense. Thanks… I’ll have a couple of tipples and see if it I can fathom the deeper meanings. Thanks. Reply
Gail May 3, 2021 Oh dear! I’m not looking up any of these. Using what I know of latin roots to make guesses though. Along these same lines, I can recommend ‘Cattus Petasatus’ qui libellus est a Doctore Seuss. The restored classical works beautifully, and we all already know the rhythm. I can’t make it through without laughing to tears, and I don’t–as a habit–drink! Reply
Yael May 3, 2021 It’s like a fun little walk on the wacky side. I’m glad you added the audio or I wouldn’t have found my way through it. I’m meeting some of these words for the first time ever. Reply
Mike Bryant May 3, 2021 Thanks, Yael… I haven’t forgotten about the bluegrass version of ‘The Enemy Within.’ Can’t wait to hear the entire glorious production. Susan and I would love to see some bluegrass lyrics posted as poems. Reply
Sally Cook May 3, 2021 Susan — My husband used to know an old sailor named Edelbert Arnold, whose favorite axiom was THE WORLD HAS GONE MAD, and now, — yours has proven it !! Where did we find these guys, anyway? If only there were more of them. Reply
Mike Bryant May 3, 2021 Sally, you have nailed it. I’m afraid that Susan has also become a hippomonstro-sesquipedaliaholic. In fact, I’ve composed a new penultimate verse… I think I’m turning into, no, I’m being hyperbolic, A hippopotomonstro- sesquipedaliaholic. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant May 3, 2021 Dearest Sally, see comments below – as ever, you are absolutely spot on! Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant May 3, 2021 Mike, you’ve thrown down the gauntlet. My next poem is Welsh and entitled: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch 😉 Reply
Mike Bryant May 3, 2021 Nice try… but that’s only the second longest place name in the world. The first is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu, New Zealand. All I have to do is learn Maori. Give me a couple of weeks… x Kei te tatari te moana ki ahau, I ahau e tatari ana ki a koe. mau ahau ki a koe i roto i toku ngakau. Aroha ahau ki a koe. Reply
Gail May 4, 2021 Welsh is completely confounding! Even if you recognize which combinations of letters represent a phoneme, you only pronounce one-third to one-half them. I’m whipped. Reply
BRIAN YAPKO May 4, 2021 Mike, this poem is hilarious! I may well need therapy now for my reactivated fear of long words, as well as a dentist for the TMJ that I got making the attempt to recite these intimidating words out loud. Your recording is especially impressive as you wrap your tongue around these rather juicy words with such dignity! And am I the only one having flashbacks of Mary Poppins singing “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”?” Reply
Gail May 4, 2021 Not anymore! Thank you for that; I needed a new earworm. (I’ve had ‘Adventure is Out There!’ by AJR going through my head for two days. Dare ya to go listen to that!) Reply
Mike Bryant May 4, 2021 Thanks, Brian. I had a lot of fun putting it together. Had these words in notes for years, then a few days ago thought… heck I’m gonna versify those puppies. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Reply
Jeff Eardley May 4, 2021 Mike, just caught the audio of this masterpiece of yours which clarifies everything. When I was at school, our biggest word was, “antidisestablishmentarianism” which spelt backwards could be another Welsh railway station. Great to read and hear and as our legendary English wordsmith, professor Stanley Unwin might have put it, “All-time sometime deep joy of a full moon, scintyladen dangly in the heavenly mode.” Reply
Mike Bryant May 4, 2021 Jeff, I realized after Evan posted the poem that it was too difficult to imagine without hearing it read first. After a little searching, I found an online recorder so you could hear the stresses. I’m glad it worked out… to a degree. 🙂 Thanks. Reply
Sally Cook May 4, 2021 Mike – I have Welsh ancestors who settled in Delaware and built a house they called Fox Hall, donated to the American Revolution, and refused to learn English; conducting all their business in an Engtlish speaking country) in WELSH!! Can you or Susan, or both, explain this to me? How did they: buy food and other necessaries Meet and marry Build a house Speak to their children and/or grandchildren? I’m serious; these and other questions have kept me awake some nights when I have nothing more serious troubling me. Reply
Mike Bryant May 4, 2021 Sally, I did a quick look at some of the history of Delaware. I think that Fox Hall is in or near Dover. Dover is within a long ride of New Castle County where there was a huge Welsh settlement. I’m no historian, however living in South Texas, I know and know of many Spanish speaking immigrants that do all of the things you mention with no problem at all. Just my quick take but I feel sure there were plenty of recent Welsh settlers that communicated with your ancestors. Reply
Sally Cook May 5, 2021 Mike, thanks so much for taking the trouble to look my relatives up. All I was able to find was a general feeling among distant cousins that the Welsh love gardening, poetry and alcohol. Hmm. Even my mother, whose motg her was one of that tribe, was told that she was born on St. David’s day (patron saint of Wales) and on that day Welshmen pinned daffodils to their lapels. Thanks again. Now I will be able to get half a night’s sleep.
Sally Cook May 5, 2021 Mike, thanks so much for taking the trouble to look my relatives up. All I was able to find was a general feeling among distant cousins that the Welsh love gardening, poetry and alcohol. Hmm. Even my mother, whose mother was one of that tribe, was told that she was born on St. David’s day (patron saint of Wales) and on that day Welshmen pinned daffodils to their lapels. Thanks again. Now I will be able to get half a night’s sleep. Reply
Daniel Kemper May 10, 2021 Late to the game, as usual of late, I thoroughly enjoyed the word play. God help us if the biochemists get involved and thrown down the glove — all their words are arbitrarily long by nature!! Reply
