"Full Moon at Takanawa" by Hiroshige‘The Fluctuations of Modernity and Antiquity’ by Laurel Aronian The Society January 11, 2023 Beauty, High School Submissions, Pantoum, Poetry 9 Comments . The Fluctuations of Modernity and Antiquity a pantoum __Something is ahead, A solemn note on open sky, __It rises from the dead, A whizzing plane of time gone by. A solemn note on open sky, Reminds me of the shopping mall, A whizzing plain of time gone by, A breaking voice, an alien call. Reminds me of the shopping mall, The perfect world that is conceived, A breaking voice, an alien call, This misty world of make-believe. The perfect world that is conceived, Is sooty; full of darkened leaves, This misty world of make believe, Is crossed in cries of coming geese. The perfect world that is conceived, __It rises from the dead, Is crossed in cries of coming geese, __Something is ahead. . . Laurel Aronian is a 10th grade student at St. Luke’s School in Connecticut. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Trending now: 9 Responses Jeremiah Johnson January 11, 2023 Laurel, Initially I cringed at the switch from something as latently beautiful as the call of geese flying in formation overhead to a description of a shopping mall – yet the deft back and forth of the two images ultimately is quite moving. That said, I wonder if shopping malls themselves aren’t headed for antiquity, what with how Amazon and other online retailers have taken over – kind of like cinemas. On another note, although some here in the South refer to geese as “flying rats” because of their dirty on the ground habits, my instinct strongly disagrees with this – I can never hear them honking without gazing up in wonder and waiting until they come into sight. Thanks for this one! Reply Allegra Silberstein January 11, 2023 I loved your beautiful pantoum. In the past few days I’ve seem flocks of geese traveling away…they are always a moving blessing for the eyes and ears as I hear and then look up to see them…thank you…Allegra Reply Peg January 11, 2023 I enjoyed your clever pantoum, Laurel… thank you! (I am from CT originally 🙂 Reply jd January 11, 2023 Very nice, Laurel. Your poem makes me want to try a Pantoum sometime. The graphic is lovely too, Evan. Reply Cynthia Erlandson January 11, 2023 A pantoum is ambitious, and I think this one shows you have substantial talent! Keep on writing; I’d like to see more of your work. Reply Paul Freeman January 11, 2023 Indeed – times they are a-changing. There are images bordering on magical realism I’m struggling to interpret, but that’s the nature of some poetry. The switch from ‘plane’ to ‘plain’, for instance, I at first thought was a mistake, though perhaps the second ‘plain’ is referring to the flatness or ugliness of the shopping mall which is passing into antiquity thanks to Amazon, et al, much as biplanes have been replaced by jet planes. Meanwhile, the geese are a fluctuation but a constant in their migrations. There’s still a lot to mull over in this poem. Thanks for an intriguing read, Laurel, which has piqued my interest in the pantoum. Reply Roy Eugene Peterson January 12, 2023 “Something is ahead” indeed and that does not necessarily mean better! Thank you for challenging our imagination. Reply Michelle January 13, 2023 I loved the reference to nature versus The Mall.I find Nature revives the soul, where The Mall distracts . Reply Adam Sedia January 17, 2023 I echo Cynthia: a good and natural-sounding pantoum is difficult. You’ve mastered the form, and produced a work with a lovely elusive quality. I am impressed at your talent and likewise encourage you to continue writing. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Jeremiah Johnson January 11, 2023 Laurel, Initially I cringed at the switch from something as latently beautiful as the call of geese flying in formation overhead to a description of a shopping mall – yet the deft back and forth of the two images ultimately is quite moving. That said, I wonder if shopping malls themselves aren’t headed for antiquity, what with how Amazon and other online retailers have taken over – kind of like cinemas. On another note, although some here in the South refer to geese as “flying rats” because of their dirty on the ground habits, my instinct strongly disagrees with this – I can never hear them honking without gazing up in wonder and waiting until they come into sight. Thanks for this one! Reply
Allegra Silberstein January 11, 2023 I loved your beautiful pantoum. In the past few days I’ve seem flocks of geese traveling away…they are always a moving blessing for the eyes and ears as I hear and then look up to see them…thank you…Allegra Reply
Peg January 11, 2023 I enjoyed your clever pantoum, Laurel… thank you! (I am from CT originally 🙂 Reply
jd January 11, 2023 Very nice, Laurel. Your poem makes me want to try a Pantoum sometime. The graphic is lovely too, Evan. Reply
Cynthia Erlandson January 11, 2023 A pantoum is ambitious, and I think this one shows you have substantial talent! Keep on writing; I’d like to see more of your work. Reply
Paul Freeman January 11, 2023 Indeed – times they are a-changing. There are images bordering on magical realism I’m struggling to interpret, but that’s the nature of some poetry. The switch from ‘plane’ to ‘plain’, for instance, I at first thought was a mistake, though perhaps the second ‘plain’ is referring to the flatness or ugliness of the shopping mall which is passing into antiquity thanks to Amazon, et al, much as biplanes have been replaced by jet planes. Meanwhile, the geese are a fluctuation but a constant in their migrations. There’s still a lot to mull over in this poem. Thanks for an intriguing read, Laurel, which has piqued my interest in the pantoum. Reply
Roy Eugene Peterson January 12, 2023 “Something is ahead” indeed and that does not necessarily mean better! Thank you for challenging our imagination. Reply
Michelle January 13, 2023 I loved the reference to nature versus The Mall.I find Nature revives the soul, where The Mall distracts . Reply
Adam Sedia January 17, 2023 I echo Cynthia: a good and natural-sounding pantoum is difficult. You’ve mastered the form, and produced a work with a lovely elusive quality. I am impressed at your talent and likewise encourage you to continue writing. Reply
