‘Seaside Retreat’: A Poem by Margaret Coats The Society July 27, 2023 Beauty, Poetry 32 Comments . Seaside Retreat Footsteps move slow through shifting sand; A weather-beaten picket fence Encloses beach verbena fanned By sea oats where the influence Of busybody breezes fades. The cottage yard commingles shades Of leafage subtle and subdued; Indoors, the feel of worn brocades Retouches the expectant mood. Bright painted clapboard blown to bland By spray and coastal turbulence Takes on the varied light’s unplanned Brief bursts of coloring intense. A woman, dressed in gray, cascades Down narrow stairs and blithely trades A book for lime liqueur she brewed A while ago. Blue speedwell blades Wave bravely in a watchful mood. Below the dunes, along the strand, The ocean’s breaking roar presents Mute pictures she can understand From earlier experience. A furtive fisher cat makes raids On tide pools, and a girl evades The surfer’s brackish talk that wooed Herself, before his shore charades Ebbed out, as thin as spindrift mood. One of her clan, a master hand At metrical benevolence, Arrives at last to plot out grand Adventure spanning continents, Composed of narrative arcades With interludes in lyric glades, Prepared for epic amplitude After satiric pasquinades And drama of heroic mood. The two traverse familiar land, Allied in kindred sentiments, And perseveringly expand Reciprocal beneficence, But there are baffling barricades, Though belletristic balm pervades The honest odyssey renewed On seven seas of serenades, Embarking with melodic mood. From sandspurs, flax, and summer scents Their interplay of temperaments, Redoubling noble gratitude, Ascends in friendly confidence And measured meditative mood, To character of finer sense. . . Margaret Coats lives in California. She holds a Ph.D. in English and American Literature and Language from Harvard University. She has retired from a career of teaching literature, languages, and writing that included considerable work in homeschooling for her own family and others. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Trending now: 32 Responses Roy Eugene Peterson July 27, 2023 Like many of your great works, I am amazed and intrigued by your vast vocabulary that populates your poetry with depth, subtlety, and impactful imagery. The alliteration found in various phrases is beautiful and perfectly placed often supporting the rhyming words exquisitely chosen. In my mind’s eye, I perceived a writer on a summer retreat enjoying an outdoors walk being stimulated by the surroundings. Reply Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Roy, I remember a teacher in college showing the class the relative depth of pages in the two portions of a French/English dictionary. We have more words in English–and it’s good to use them! In your gracious comment, I thank you especially for saying I have “perfectly placed” alliteration and “exquisitely chosen” rhymes for this poem. A sense of propriety about the artistic details is so important in our work. And you are correct that I imagine this poem as the preserve of writers and readers who enjoy the seaside surroundings as a quiet and relaxing place to savor the literary genres mentioned, and perhaps be inspired to compose in them. Reply Cheryl Corey July 27, 2023 For me, this poem evoked a sense of serenity, of laid-back, lazy, hazy days of summer. I was prompted to look up “pasquinades” and “belletristic “, so I learned something new; and as Roy states above, lovely alliteration throughout. Reply Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Thank you so much, Cheryl, for taking some of your summer moments to read and give your impressions. They are much appreciated. Reply Joseph S. Salemi July 27, 2023 This is a beautiful piece conjuring up the locus amoenus mood — in this instance not a garden or meadow or house, but a seashore. As Roy says, the vocabulary and the subtlety of expression are remarkable. As for that complex rhyme scheme (maintained for every section!), it must have taken tremendous ingenuity and labor. One thing about the locus amoenus scenario — it always is constructed to correspond to a human state of mind that is serene, calm, filled with pleasurable feelings and satisfaction, and consequently thoughtful. The woman in gray is not a narrator here, but rather the figure chosen to be the vehicle for thoughtfulness — she is expectant, watchful, mindful of earlier experience, and then there is the “interplay of temperaments” between her and “one of her clan” that brings beneficence, balm, gratitude, confidence, and a meditative mood. The poem concludes with all of these blessings being conducive to “character of finer sense.” This is what is traditionally associated with the locus amoenus poem: it connects the external pleasures of lovely surroundings with an elevation and ennobling of character in those parties who are present. It’s quite a piece of work! Congratulations, Margaret. Reply Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Many thanks, Joe, for taking time to give an excellent description of the locus amoenus (“pleasamt place”) motif and how it works in literature. Your teaching ability certainly enables others to appreciate my poem better, for which I am most grateful. You are right that this one took a great deal of time and effort. For that reason, I value your congratulations all the more. Reply Sally Cook July 27, 2023 Margaret, did you embroider this scene or spell it out in the subtlest of colors? Only a wordsmith such as yourself could manage to capture all the countless changes that lie within a simple day at the beach. Thanks for sharing such a day with me . Reply Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Sally, it starts with the plants. Things that grow near the ocean have silvery little fibers to help them retain water and keep salt off. Colors are pleasantly muted. Then we need poems and a friend to share the enjoyment. Thanks for joining me! Reply R M Moore August 1, 2023 I have read all the comments to your poem and agree. But, as you say above, ”Then we need poems and a friend to share the enjoyment”, it can recall to our minds the importance of that. Thank you, my friend. Margaret Coats August 2, 2023 Dear friend, sharing time and literary reflections together is indeed one of the most satisfying things we can do, especially when it’s in person. And best of all when the literature is of the best. Thanks for reading this reflection of mine on that theme, and for stating your opinion. I value it. M Harrison July 27, 2023 Margaret, This is lovely. I have a question about your form/rhyme scheme. I see a ABAB-C-CDCD structure to your stanzas ending with a stanza of AABCBC. I’m wondering why your changed your pattern for the last stanza. Merely to signal the end with a different pattern? I ask this in all sincerity as to what was guiding your decisions in terms of rhyme and stanza structure. Why vary it in the last one? Reply Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Thanks for the attention, Maura! This poem is a chant royal with a very unusual envoi. The rhyme scheme of the five full stanzas is ababccdcD, where capitalization is used to indicate the refrain. My refrain lines are not identical, but all end with the same word “mood,” which is the minimal requirement for a refrain according to French medieval poet and critic Eustache Deschamps. The same rhyme sounds are used in all stanzas and in the half-stanza envoi at the end. I follow Deschamps’ own practice in choosing any two of the stanza rhyme sounds to be used in the envoi. My envoi bbdbDb is unique because the refrain is not the final line. I did this because my refrain speaks of different moods in the different stanzas, but at the end I need another line to tell that the meditative mood, achieved by the kindred friends in my envoi, contributes to refinement of character for each of them. The key words in the last stanza are “temperament” (including all the natural qualities of each individual’s psyche) and “character,” which is what we build by our thoughts, choices, and actions from our given temperamental material. I hope this is clear! If not, please let me know. If you look up chant royal, you may find that it is considered a fixed form of eleven-line stanzas, with a five- or seven-line envoi. This is because English writers who first took up the form in the 19th century copied the form as used by 16th century French writer Clement Marot, who wrote only a few examples. But in France, before and after Marot, there has been far greater freedom in number of lines per stanza and in rhyme scheme for the chant royal (a four- or five-stanza poem that usually has an envoi). Reply Russel Winick July 28, 2023 Margaret, I’m sadly incapable of adding to the technical observations regarding this poem, but I’ll say what I can – that this was lovely and magnificent, and I’ve read it five times already. “Busybody breezes” – how marvelous! Reply Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 You’re one of the poetic kindred, Russel! I am honored by your reading my moderately long poem five times, and taking even a little more of your energy to gratify me by saying so. Reply Shaun C. Duncan July 28, 2023 This is a truly remarkable union of technique and expression. You make the complex yet repeating rhyme scheme seem so effortless it almost becomes transparent. Never once does it feel forced or sing-songy. Indeed, all the poetic devices you’ve employed have been handled so masterfully and with such subtlety that even if the words were stripped of all meaning the poem would still powerfully evoke the mood of serene pleasure Joe describes so well above. This is one I could read over and over again just for the sheer beauty of the language. Reply Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Now that, Shaun, is a perfect comment. Please accept my profound gratitude! Reply Brian A Yapko July 28, 2023 Margaret, this skillfully wrought poem is marvelous and enchanting. I’m a little bit late in my comments here so a number of things that I wanted to say have already been covered – especially in terms of the chant royal form which absolutely shines in your hands, and your meticulous and creative use of rhyme. There is a sunny quality to this poem – a lightness which I have not before seen in a chant royal (usually the subjects seem quite serious or romantic) but which seems to me the perfect marriage of form and tone. In fact, musicality – joyous musicality – seems an essential aspect of this work – especially with your unusually extensive use of alliteration. I love the confidence with which you tailor the form to your content, including the envoi which you have already explained and your use of tetrameter. The shorter line makes the extensive use of alliteration very chewy (it’s fun to speak these words out loud) and playful. I am well aware of the amount of attention to detail that goes into the writing of a poem such as this and it has truly paid off. This is memorable and beautiful. Well done! Reply Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Thank you, Brian, especially for finding lightness and musicality here. You’re right that chant royal is usually a grand form where these qualities are not apparent. But in this poem, I’m dealing with a retreat for refreshment (a serious psychological need), where the atmosphere must be lighter than the subject itself–if the retreat is to be successful for persons involved and for readers. But again, as Dr. Salemi pointed out, the aim of the refreshment is pleasantly satisfied thoughtfulness. Tetrameter in a grand form is my method, with alliteration more often than usual, as you noticed. Starting with beach and breeze, there was so much “b” alliteration that I limited it, to keep a more graceful effect. There is some “local” alliteration on other letters (seven seas of serenades) and touches of assonance (honest odyssey). And I believe beginning the poem in a descriptive mode helps establish a lighter tone that can continue through the rapidly moving literary visit. I know a few French chants royal in octosyllabic lines corresponding to English tetrameter. They also deal with subjects where lightness is appropriate, so I have precedent behind my practice. The envoi is unprecedented, and if you didn’t notice it in particular, you will appreciate the “meticulous and creative” rhyme for my final line. “Finer sense” rhymes identically with “summer scents” in the first line of the envoi, the very sounds moving from material to mental and spiritual. Reply Julian D. Woodruff July 29, 2023 Full of what strikes me as low-key elegance and sophistication, Margaret. I’ll have to reread it a few times when my particular coast is clearer to say something more perceptive. Reply Margaret Coats July 29, 2023 Thanks, Julian. Looking forward to your further response, I’ll say that I consider this a longish poem that presents the reader with more challenges in the latter half. When your coast is clearer, it would be interesting to see whether you agree, and how you perceive them! Reply James A. Tweedie July 31, 2023 Margaret, I swear I could hear the lapping wavelets on the tranquil shore, feel the soft caress of the Trades, see the sun-faded tropic paint on clapboard, smell the summer scents and taste the lime liqueur. Serene but also oh-so-sensual. And oh-so-smoothly rendered within the terse confines of tetrameter, gilded with the elegant and expansive playfulness of your mind-numbing vocabulary. A masterful effort with the same pleasurable subtlety as an aged blended scotch whiskey. A well-deserved bravo. Reply Margaret Coats July 31, 2023 Thanks for visiting, James! It’s quite a compliment from a poet of Scots descent to have the poem declared comparable to an aged Scotch blend whiskey. I didn’t at first aim to make this a work of synaesthesia (one that appeals to all five senses), but it turned out that way. I recall discussing that concept in the past, and deciding that a synaesthetic poem also needs to exhibit motion. And indeed here I have footsteps slogging through beach sand, along with a sailing excursion through literary genres. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant August 2, 2023 Margaret, I have read this poem several times… there is a lot to take in. I like the immediacy of the scenes… they swept this reader up in the swirl of picturesque imagery that appeals to the senses and engages the mind. To me, it’s a haunting poem that holds secrets that are not evident upon the first reading… fascinating. Reply Margaret Coats August 3, 2023 Susan, thank you for finding secrets. This poem has some of mine, but I hoped especially that others would see their own, recalling special places and significant conversations with friends. When I say the woman in the poem meets one of her clan, that means a person of congeniality in the literary field, willing to devote time to discussions that are wide-ranging and profound. I moved from immediate, picturesque imagery to a symbolic mode of speaking–which risks losing any reader unwilling to devote time to thought. Therefore, I much appreciate the time and thought you were willing to spend on this piece, and hope it suggested secrets of yours. Reply Peter Gartner August 2, 2023 Great mastery of language. Reply Margaret Coats August 3, 2023 Thank you, Peter! Reply C.B. Anderson August 2, 2023 Exquisite! The limpid images and the splendid locutions carried me away on their tide. Reply Margaret Coats August 3, 2023 Thanks for taking the voyage and staying to talk! Reply Monika Cooper August 4, 2023 It’s very fine, superfine. “Sandspurs, flax, and summer scents.” Who has the marvelous conversation? The girl or the woman in gray? The woman in gray, I guess, but I hope the same for the girl someday. She deserves better than the attentions of the surfer dude and she seems to know it. Reply Margaret Coats August 4, 2023 You’re right, Monika, the woman in gray has the marvelous conversation. I envision her retreat house as a cottage above the beach, but within sight of it. And I think of the “retreat” as similar to a spiritual retreat where one goes to hear a retreat master give edifying conferences–which is why I use the word “master” to describe the arriving visitor. This isn’t an amorous encounter, although there is love between the woman and her visitor because they belong to the same clan. They also share a love of literature in all its aspects. You’re perceptive to make a contrast between the two retreatants and the girl and the surfer on the beach. I don’t call his talk brackish just because it’s salty seductive, but because surfers (at least while they’re at the beach) tend to be interested in passing material things: the waves, the wind, surfing gear, their recent rides. This is fine for a short time, but it’s self-centered. The ocean and its vicinity have more to offer. I’m happy to hear that the poem is “superfine” to you! Reply Mia August 10, 2023 It doesn’t matter how many times I read this poem I always get something new from it. Full of beauty. Thank you. Reply Margaret Coats August 11, 2023 Thank you so very much, Mia. Here I tried to show forth natural beauty, suggest varied modes of literary beauty, describe touches of the beauty of friendship, and point toward the beauty of virtue. It’s wonderful to hear a reader say these things can be found and found again in the poem. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. 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Roy Eugene Peterson July 27, 2023 Like many of your great works, I am amazed and intrigued by your vast vocabulary that populates your poetry with depth, subtlety, and impactful imagery. The alliteration found in various phrases is beautiful and perfectly placed often supporting the rhyming words exquisitely chosen. In my mind’s eye, I perceived a writer on a summer retreat enjoying an outdoors walk being stimulated by the surroundings. Reply
Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Roy, I remember a teacher in college showing the class the relative depth of pages in the two portions of a French/English dictionary. We have more words in English–and it’s good to use them! In your gracious comment, I thank you especially for saying I have “perfectly placed” alliteration and “exquisitely chosen” rhymes for this poem. A sense of propriety about the artistic details is so important in our work. And you are correct that I imagine this poem as the preserve of writers and readers who enjoy the seaside surroundings as a quiet and relaxing place to savor the literary genres mentioned, and perhaps be inspired to compose in them. Reply
Cheryl Corey July 27, 2023 For me, this poem evoked a sense of serenity, of laid-back, lazy, hazy days of summer. I was prompted to look up “pasquinades” and “belletristic “, so I learned something new; and as Roy states above, lovely alliteration throughout. Reply
Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Thank you so much, Cheryl, for taking some of your summer moments to read and give your impressions. They are much appreciated. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi July 27, 2023 This is a beautiful piece conjuring up the locus amoenus mood — in this instance not a garden or meadow or house, but a seashore. As Roy says, the vocabulary and the subtlety of expression are remarkable. As for that complex rhyme scheme (maintained for every section!), it must have taken tremendous ingenuity and labor. One thing about the locus amoenus scenario — it always is constructed to correspond to a human state of mind that is serene, calm, filled with pleasurable feelings and satisfaction, and consequently thoughtful. The woman in gray is not a narrator here, but rather the figure chosen to be the vehicle for thoughtfulness — she is expectant, watchful, mindful of earlier experience, and then there is the “interplay of temperaments” between her and “one of her clan” that brings beneficence, balm, gratitude, confidence, and a meditative mood. The poem concludes with all of these blessings being conducive to “character of finer sense.” This is what is traditionally associated with the locus amoenus poem: it connects the external pleasures of lovely surroundings with an elevation and ennobling of character in those parties who are present. It’s quite a piece of work! Congratulations, Margaret. Reply
Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Many thanks, Joe, for taking time to give an excellent description of the locus amoenus (“pleasamt place”) motif and how it works in literature. Your teaching ability certainly enables others to appreciate my poem better, for which I am most grateful. You are right that this one took a great deal of time and effort. For that reason, I value your congratulations all the more. Reply
Sally Cook July 27, 2023 Margaret, did you embroider this scene or spell it out in the subtlest of colors? Only a wordsmith such as yourself could manage to capture all the countless changes that lie within a simple day at the beach. Thanks for sharing such a day with me . Reply
Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Sally, it starts with the plants. Things that grow near the ocean have silvery little fibers to help them retain water and keep salt off. Colors are pleasantly muted. Then we need poems and a friend to share the enjoyment. Thanks for joining me! Reply
R M Moore August 1, 2023 I have read all the comments to your poem and agree. But, as you say above, ”Then we need poems and a friend to share the enjoyment”, it can recall to our minds the importance of that. Thank you, my friend.
Margaret Coats August 2, 2023 Dear friend, sharing time and literary reflections together is indeed one of the most satisfying things we can do, especially when it’s in person. And best of all when the literature is of the best. Thanks for reading this reflection of mine on that theme, and for stating your opinion. I value it.
M Harrison July 27, 2023 Margaret, This is lovely. I have a question about your form/rhyme scheme. I see a ABAB-C-CDCD structure to your stanzas ending with a stanza of AABCBC. I’m wondering why your changed your pattern for the last stanza. Merely to signal the end with a different pattern? I ask this in all sincerity as to what was guiding your decisions in terms of rhyme and stanza structure. Why vary it in the last one? Reply
Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Thanks for the attention, Maura! This poem is a chant royal with a very unusual envoi. The rhyme scheme of the five full stanzas is ababccdcD, where capitalization is used to indicate the refrain. My refrain lines are not identical, but all end with the same word “mood,” which is the minimal requirement for a refrain according to French medieval poet and critic Eustache Deschamps. The same rhyme sounds are used in all stanzas and in the half-stanza envoi at the end. I follow Deschamps’ own practice in choosing any two of the stanza rhyme sounds to be used in the envoi. My envoi bbdbDb is unique because the refrain is not the final line. I did this because my refrain speaks of different moods in the different stanzas, but at the end I need another line to tell that the meditative mood, achieved by the kindred friends in my envoi, contributes to refinement of character for each of them. The key words in the last stanza are “temperament” (including all the natural qualities of each individual’s psyche) and “character,” which is what we build by our thoughts, choices, and actions from our given temperamental material. I hope this is clear! If not, please let me know. If you look up chant royal, you may find that it is considered a fixed form of eleven-line stanzas, with a five- or seven-line envoi. This is because English writers who first took up the form in the 19th century copied the form as used by 16th century French writer Clement Marot, who wrote only a few examples. But in France, before and after Marot, there has been far greater freedom in number of lines per stanza and in rhyme scheme for the chant royal (a four- or five-stanza poem that usually has an envoi). Reply
Russel Winick July 28, 2023 Margaret, I’m sadly incapable of adding to the technical observations regarding this poem, but I’ll say what I can – that this was lovely and magnificent, and I’ve read it five times already. “Busybody breezes” – how marvelous! Reply
Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 You’re one of the poetic kindred, Russel! I am honored by your reading my moderately long poem five times, and taking even a little more of your energy to gratify me by saying so. Reply
Shaun C. Duncan July 28, 2023 This is a truly remarkable union of technique and expression. You make the complex yet repeating rhyme scheme seem so effortless it almost becomes transparent. Never once does it feel forced or sing-songy. Indeed, all the poetic devices you’ve employed have been handled so masterfully and with such subtlety that even if the words were stripped of all meaning the poem would still powerfully evoke the mood of serene pleasure Joe describes so well above. This is one I could read over and over again just for the sheer beauty of the language. Reply
Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Now that, Shaun, is a perfect comment. Please accept my profound gratitude! Reply
Brian A Yapko July 28, 2023 Margaret, this skillfully wrought poem is marvelous and enchanting. I’m a little bit late in my comments here so a number of things that I wanted to say have already been covered – especially in terms of the chant royal form which absolutely shines in your hands, and your meticulous and creative use of rhyme. There is a sunny quality to this poem – a lightness which I have not before seen in a chant royal (usually the subjects seem quite serious or romantic) but which seems to me the perfect marriage of form and tone. In fact, musicality – joyous musicality – seems an essential aspect of this work – especially with your unusually extensive use of alliteration. I love the confidence with which you tailor the form to your content, including the envoi which you have already explained and your use of tetrameter. The shorter line makes the extensive use of alliteration very chewy (it’s fun to speak these words out loud) and playful. I am well aware of the amount of attention to detail that goes into the writing of a poem such as this and it has truly paid off. This is memorable and beautiful. Well done! Reply
Margaret Coats July 28, 2023 Thank you, Brian, especially for finding lightness and musicality here. You’re right that chant royal is usually a grand form where these qualities are not apparent. But in this poem, I’m dealing with a retreat for refreshment (a serious psychological need), where the atmosphere must be lighter than the subject itself–if the retreat is to be successful for persons involved and for readers. But again, as Dr. Salemi pointed out, the aim of the refreshment is pleasantly satisfied thoughtfulness. Tetrameter in a grand form is my method, with alliteration more often than usual, as you noticed. Starting with beach and breeze, there was so much “b” alliteration that I limited it, to keep a more graceful effect. There is some “local” alliteration on other letters (seven seas of serenades) and touches of assonance (honest odyssey). And I believe beginning the poem in a descriptive mode helps establish a lighter tone that can continue through the rapidly moving literary visit. I know a few French chants royal in octosyllabic lines corresponding to English tetrameter. They also deal with subjects where lightness is appropriate, so I have precedent behind my practice. The envoi is unprecedented, and if you didn’t notice it in particular, you will appreciate the “meticulous and creative” rhyme for my final line. “Finer sense” rhymes identically with “summer scents” in the first line of the envoi, the very sounds moving from material to mental and spiritual. Reply
Julian D. Woodruff July 29, 2023 Full of what strikes me as low-key elegance and sophistication, Margaret. I’ll have to reread it a few times when my particular coast is clearer to say something more perceptive. Reply
Margaret Coats July 29, 2023 Thanks, Julian. Looking forward to your further response, I’ll say that I consider this a longish poem that presents the reader with more challenges in the latter half. When your coast is clearer, it would be interesting to see whether you agree, and how you perceive them! Reply
James A. Tweedie July 31, 2023 Margaret, I swear I could hear the lapping wavelets on the tranquil shore, feel the soft caress of the Trades, see the sun-faded tropic paint on clapboard, smell the summer scents and taste the lime liqueur. Serene but also oh-so-sensual. And oh-so-smoothly rendered within the terse confines of tetrameter, gilded with the elegant and expansive playfulness of your mind-numbing vocabulary. A masterful effort with the same pleasurable subtlety as an aged blended scotch whiskey. A well-deserved bravo. Reply
Margaret Coats July 31, 2023 Thanks for visiting, James! It’s quite a compliment from a poet of Scots descent to have the poem declared comparable to an aged Scotch blend whiskey. I didn’t at first aim to make this a work of synaesthesia (one that appeals to all five senses), but it turned out that way. I recall discussing that concept in the past, and deciding that a synaesthetic poem also needs to exhibit motion. And indeed here I have footsteps slogging through beach sand, along with a sailing excursion through literary genres. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant August 2, 2023 Margaret, I have read this poem several times… there is a lot to take in. I like the immediacy of the scenes… they swept this reader up in the swirl of picturesque imagery that appeals to the senses and engages the mind. To me, it’s a haunting poem that holds secrets that are not evident upon the first reading… fascinating. Reply
Margaret Coats August 3, 2023 Susan, thank you for finding secrets. This poem has some of mine, but I hoped especially that others would see their own, recalling special places and significant conversations with friends. When I say the woman in the poem meets one of her clan, that means a person of congeniality in the literary field, willing to devote time to discussions that are wide-ranging and profound. I moved from immediate, picturesque imagery to a symbolic mode of speaking–which risks losing any reader unwilling to devote time to thought. Therefore, I much appreciate the time and thought you were willing to spend on this piece, and hope it suggested secrets of yours. Reply
C.B. Anderson August 2, 2023 Exquisite! The limpid images and the splendid locutions carried me away on their tide. Reply
Monika Cooper August 4, 2023 It’s very fine, superfine. “Sandspurs, flax, and summer scents.” Who has the marvelous conversation? The girl or the woman in gray? The woman in gray, I guess, but I hope the same for the girl someday. She deserves better than the attentions of the surfer dude and she seems to know it. Reply
Margaret Coats August 4, 2023 You’re right, Monika, the woman in gray has the marvelous conversation. I envision her retreat house as a cottage above the beach, but within sight of it. And I think of the “retreat” as similar to a spiritual retreat where one goes to hear a retreat master give edifying conferences–which is why I use the word “master” to describe the arriving visitor. This isn’t an amorous encounter, although there is love between the woman and her visitor because they belong to the same clan. They also share a love of literature in all its aspects. You’re perceptive to make a contrast between the two retreatants and the girl and the surfer on the beach. I don’t call his talk brackish just because it’s salty seductive, but because surfers (at least while they’re at the beach) tend to be interested in passing material things: the waves, the wind, surfing gear, their recent rides. This is fine for a short time, but it’s self-centered. The ocean and its vicinity have more to offer. I’m happy to hear that the poem is “superfine” to you! Reply
Mia August 10, 2023 It doesn’t matter how many times I read this poem I always get something new from it. Full of beauty. Thank you. Reply
Margaret Coats August 11, 2023 Thank you so very much, Mia. Here I tried to show forth natural beauty, suggest varied modes of literary beauty, describe touches of the beauty of friendship, and point toward the beauty of virtue. It’s wonderful to hear a reader say these things can be found and found again in the poem. Reply
