Harvard University's logo‘A Valedictorian’s Address at Harvard, about Claudine Gay’: A Poem by Joseph S. Salemi The Society January 5, 2024 Poetry, Satire 39 Comments . A Valedictorian’s Address at Harvard, about Claudine Gay written at the request of Brian Yapko, and in deepest appreciation of Chris Rufo, who broke this story wide open We’re gathered here to say goodbye to Harvard’s precious flower— The moving trucks are ready to clear out her little bower. She has resigned—or been dismissed—it hardly matters which— As long as we are free at last of DEI’s chief bitch. She clung as hard as she could cling, and kept the whole school guessing, And many felt she’d ride the storm (she had Obama’s blessing). She thought herself invincible: our president from Kenya, A woman, a minority, and departmental tenure… Chris Rufo did the heavy work, and showed she was a liar Taken on at Harvard as a race-based “victim” hire, Who’d stolen massive chunks of text and twisted them some way To be ten crappy papers for her bogus resumé. She was sure that she was safe—how could she lose her seat? The trustees and the faculty were dumb left-liberal meat. It was not in the cards, alas—in matters academic One can’t excuse a plagiarist, especially systemic Copying from published texts to pad a dissertation. But in her case there’s something worse—she lost a big donation Because of how she minced her words when asked about Jew hate, And weaseled out a gutless answer. That’s what sealed her fate, For Harvard is a money-school, where money really matters, And when you lose ten million bucks, your reputation shatters. She’ll hang around, for no one drops the well-protected classes Regardless of fake scholarship with cute designer glasses. But hope’s not gone! There’s room for her on other left-wing lists, Since Ivy League prestige still clings to rampant plagiarists. She might be welcome in the crew polluting D.C.’s halls— The ones who want Hamas to win, and Tel Aviv to fall. There’s A.O.C., Ayanna Pressley, and Ilhan Omar, Jamaal Bowman, Rashida Tlaib, Con Bush and Greg Casar. Maybe she can win a seat to sit with all those vermin, And talk about the “context” of an anti-Jewish sermon. And when she writes her speeches, maybe she won’t have to copy— She’ll simply ask a Harvard grad, whose prose is not too sloppy, To write up something suited to left-liberal propaganda And she’ll sign “Claudine Gay” to it, and hope we’ll understand her. But maybe she won’t win a seat—she’s not a politician. And after all this scandal, well… she’s not in good condition. Her name is mud, her scholarship is shown to be baloney, And even folks in Harvard think she’s something of a phony. Frankly, she will have to go—and do it rather quick, Before the school’s distemper grows immeasurably sick. And as she leaves we truly hope (should she not make the Squad) The gate won’t hit her sorry ass as she departs the Quad. . . Joseph S. Salemi has published five books of poetry, and his poems, translations and scholarly articles have appeared in over one hundred publications world-wide. He is the editor of the literary magazine TRINACRIA and writes for Expansive Poetry On-line. He teaches in the Department of Humanities at New York University and in the Department of Classical Languages at Hunter College. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Trending now: 39 Responses Brian A. Yapko January 5, 2024 This is a scathingly brilliant satire on the worst and least-qualified university president in Harvard history. Joe, I’m glad you thought well of my suggestion to write this poem. With your extensive background in Academia and your withering contempt for all things woke I do not believe there’s anyone else who could have given the subject of the disgraced Claudine Gay nearly as deep a bite. From everything I have learned about Claudine Gay, she typifies woke extremism and is the love-child of a now severely-discredited DEI and critical race theory. She was never hired for her qualifications. She was hired because of the color of her skin. And that is the most racist of hiring decisions. Imagine if we hired people because they were best-suited for the job irrespective of whether they are black or white or magenta or green. Color should not matter! She has been driven out because she is not only incompetent but dangerous. I’m glad you focus on the plagiarism allegations as well as her horrifying answers to the propriety of calling for genocide of the Jews. “It depends on the context” has taken on a life of its own as a bland but deeply cynical phrase which justifies outrageous horror. Jewish lives were threatened on campus, there were calls for genocide of the Jews, and that’s the best she could do? I have my own withering contempt for this woke, racist, antisemitic piece of work. But what now really surprises me is the way pundits on the left (CNN, MSNBC, the ususal suspects) are now complaining about how conservatives are “weaponizing” plagiarism — “as if it were a bad thing.” They say all Gay did was copy and paste other people’s work without attribution. Wait, what? Has there ever been more blatant gaslighting? That’s what plagiarism IS and any student would have been expelled for it. Instead you now have Al Sharpton claiming that her being pressured to resign was strictly from racism and you have her issuing a resignation letter that fails to acknowledge even one shred of her misconduct. It’s like a madhouse where no one will look at the reality of what just happened! How does one even deal with a left that is in a parallel universe where facts don’t matter because they interfere with ideological zealotry? It’s insane and it’s infuriating. You’ve done well to reveal this woman — and the now discredit DEI — for the horrors that they are. Thank you for presenting some serious truth in the language of sharp satire. Thank you for the belly laugh. And thank you for reminding us that sanity and truth still have a fighting chance. Drilon Bajrami January 5, 2024 Brian, I heard about the Gay situation a few weeks back here on the SCP, and when I went on Youtube and saw what the three presidents of the universities had to say, that was appalling. They were, what, scared or terrified to mention that Jewish genocide is evil. Well it is. So is Jewish genocide of the Palestinian people. Any form of genocide is evil. What the hell terrified them so much to not say it? Beggars belief, I tell you. Brian A. Yapko January 5, 2024 Drilon, I appreciate your views here. But I cannot gloss over something you have said that troubles me. I don’t know what you mean by “Jewish genocide of the Palestinian people.” I am half-Jewish and am not involved in any such genocide. None of the Jews I know in Los Angeles, New York, Florida, New Mexico or Oregon or even the U.K. and Australia are engaged in a Jewish genocide of Palestinians. Why do people think all Jews are avatars of the Israeli government? If you are against Israeli actions that is your privilege, but please distinguish between Israel the country as opposed to the Jewish people, the majority of whom are not Israeli but who are being punished as if they were in charge of its government. Imagine bashing in the windows of a Chinese restaurant in London because you were angry about Beijing’s treatment of the Tibetans. Or spraying graffiti on purveyors of Turkish delight because of Turkish abuse of Armenians. Such things are unheard of. Yet people are happy to target a Jewish delicatessen in Brooklyn for actions the owners have nothing to do with. Inconsistent? Yes. That’s a hallmark of antisemitism. Hatred and scapegoating of Jews for something they have no control over. Here precisely is one of the reasons antisemitism is so distressing and frustrating. Brian A. Yapko January 6, 2024 Thank you for your thoughts and background, Drilon. This discussion has drifted a bit from Dr. Salemi’s subject matter. I will ask Evan for your email so we may perhaps continue to chat about this between ourselves, if that’s alright. Michael Vanyukov January 9, 2024 Mr. Bajrami, what you wrote is not only false symmetry between Hamas murderers, mutilators, rapists, torturers, kidnappers—and defenders of Israel. It’s a common Jew-hating blood libel, “Jewish genocide of the Palestinian people.” It is also cowardice, after writing that, to try to justify your Jew-hate by Israel’s being the Jewish state. You are a common variety antisemite, likely a young Muslim, full of hateful cliches and devoid of knowledge and humanity. Drilon Bajrami January 5, 2024 Hey Brian, the diction I used wasn’t quite right and I understand your trouble with my statement. I simply said “Jewish” because the Israeli state paints themselves as the “Jewish” state, but they certainly don’t univerally represent the views of all Jews. I didn’t think much of my choice of words but I can see now “Israeli genocide” would have been better used. I apologise for that and going forward, I’ll be more careful. I never meant to imply that Jewish people are fine with the genocide of the Palestinian people, especially internationally, which is totally not the case, as I know Jewish people myself who heavily oppose Israel’s treatment of Palestinians. Though, when the representatives of those people are doing things Hamas does, I can see where they’re coming from and it’s hard to blame them. If my mother was killed by Hamas and I was Israeli, I’d want their fucking extirpation from the face of the planet. Collateral damage be damned. But, similarly, a lot of Palestinians oppose what Hamas does — it’s important to recognise that. The Palestinian’s West Bank leadership is much better and they probably represent more of the Palestinians than Iran’s toy, Hamas. The left like to label Palestine the victim and the right like to label Israel as the victim but the only true victims are those who are dying and suffering from the conflict. If only the Iranian government wasn’t funding Hamas and their evil attacks on civilians. They’re causing most of the issues. However, as an ethnic Albanian who lived under Serbian occupation, if a people believe they have a legitimate claim to a land and rebels to fight for it, how can I be such a hypocrite as to criticise them? However, the KLA — on which you specifically, Brian, and Joe by proxy, have inspired me to write a poem about — have never attacked civilians. They went after the occupation’s military forces and their police (the police would regularly terrorise ethnic Albanians just because they could, who would they call for help, the police?) What Hamas did was 100% deplorable and should be decried. But so should Israel’s illegal occupation of the West Bank. Israel are no angels in this conflict and their actions have added fuel to the fire. They are doing what Russia did to Kaliningrad and now in 2024 nobody can deny it is Russian. In decades to come, the West Bank will similarly become Israel. That is criminal. As in it actually breaks international laws, yet they are allowed to get away with it and face zero repercussions for their actions. This, rightfully, angers many people and then it becomes a David vs Goliath and the public will always side with David. I can partially understand what is going on now because of their history, the Arabs invaded Israel totally unprovoked and Israel crushed them completely. The victor usually dictates the the terms of surrender, including dividing up conquered lands. But to me, it feels like the Israeli state is still taking out that anger on modern-day Palestinians, who just like you, Brian, had nothing to do with the Arab-Israeli war. They took the Palestinian lands (and Jerusalem) as their reward for winning the war, isn’t that enough to assuage them? It’s overall just a really sad situation and I hope in some way, a resolution that works for all parties is done. I’m sure Israelis are sick and tired of living in fear of missile attacks, as are the Palestinians — there desperately needs to be a resolution. I only mention the West Bank situation because at times, especially here in the UK, you can be labelled an anti-semite for even calling out Israel for fair points of criticism. Because, however evil their actions, there is a reason Hamas is doing it and Israel’s post war actions are those reasons. Bernie Sanders — whatever you think of him — has even been labelled an anti-semite and he’s Jewish himself. Anti-semitism is a real issue, I’ve heard some things said about Jews in private that had me reeling, but we must also not censor anti-Israel views which are valid. I hope this comment doesn’t cause you any further trouble, Brian, but I’m always open to discuss my views and defend them. Cheers for the discussion. Joshua C. Frank January 5, 2024 The trouble I have with it is that you’re defending Hamas by bringing up false claims of Israeli “genocide” of Palestinians, thus implying that Hamas was justified in killing Israelis. Israel has the right to defend itself, no matter what that takes. Anyone who disagrees with that is as anti-Semitic as Hitler himself, just as anyone who claims that America doesn’t have the right to defend itself is that much anti-American. Your sympathy for people who want to wipe out all Jews everywhere is uncalled-for. Take it to your Jew-hating friends, we don’t want to hear it here. Drilon Bajrami January 5, 2024 Joshua, when it comes to whether or not there is an actual genocide, there can be varying opinions on that as many things in life aren’t black and white. At the very least they’re currently ethnically cleansing the West Bank. That is fact. I repeatedly and voraciously denounced Hamas in my comment and it’s not for any other reason than fuck them and their evil fucking methods. That’s it. Fuck them. I’m not trying to be a diplomat and play both sides here. I don’t secretly love them. I, in fact, very much hate Iran and well by proxy Hamas. What the Islamic government has done to that beautiful country and its culture is sickening. Also, I did talk about the unprovoked war and the right of self defence, you are talking as if I made no mention of it. That’s very disingenous. “Your sympathy for people who want to wipe out all Jews everywhere is uncalled-for” — I never showed such sympathy, in fact, I did the very opposite and I was sympathising with Israelis! Though, by that exact same token, if a Palestinian kid’s mother was killed by Israeli strikes — that might prompt them to join Hamas. I may as well write it out since you just accused me of it anyway. Joshua, I appreciate the fact you are pro-Israel, that’s clear but please actually read what I say because what you’ve written and the reality of my comment are two different things and that’s not how to have an honest debate with anyone. I have no desire for a screaming match. Brian wants to have a constructive debate with me and I apologised for making a mistake, I was wrong for phrasing it that way. You just want to shout at me because I’m not in your camp. I could concur to that screaming match and I’d reply and accuse you of wanting and even reveling Palestinian deaths to pay for what Hamas has done but I don’t think that’s true and you’re that heartless. Just how it’s untrue that I’m heartless and want Israeli deaths. At the end of the day, peace and a resolution is the only answer. Joshua C. Frank January 6, 2024 Yes, I read your comment, but the peace you’re proposing is an impossibility that ends up being little more than appeasement, which didn’t work in Europe during World War II. Muslims everywhere want Jews wiped out, then Christians. It’s in the Koran and everything. Trying to have peace with them is tantamount to taking their side for this reason. What would this peace involve? Meeting them halfway in their desire to kill all Jews? I have gone on record saying that Islam, just like leftism, is an evil that needs to be eradicated, but that doesn’t mean I think Muslims need to be eradicated. No, it’s just the belief system that needs to be done away with if Jews and Christians are to survive, just as leftist beliefs need to be abandoned for the same reason. I would go after anyone who demonstrated any sympathy for the left too. Drilon Bajrami January 6, 2024 Joshua, peace may very well be an impossibility but if that is the case then what do you propose should be done? The complete annexation of all Palestinian lands and the removal of Palestinian arabs from those lands? I’m not even trying to be tongue-in-cheek here, it’s a legitimate question. You may be surprised to know that I was born into a muslim family, luckily, I wasn’t heavily dogmatised at all so I was able to break away and become an atheist as a teen. Now, I’m much more of a mystic and I do believe in a concept of God, my concept is very close to “The Tao” of the taoists and “Brahman” from Hinduism. Saying all of that, I do not have a positive view on Islam (with my insider’s perspective) and I’m in agreement with you that the prevailing forms of Islam in today’s society and age are in need of eradication. I hope both the KSA and Iran lose this Arab Cold War and something better takes their place. And just like with anti-semitism, saying all of this isn’t Islamophobia. I think we’re both making fair and valid points. However, I will say that Sufi Islam is a totally different kettle of fish from Sunni and Shia forms. It’s a shame it’s by far the least dominant form and the other forms prone to causing violence are. I’d look into Sufiism for 5-10 minutes and see what you think. We can agree to disagree on this point, though. Joshua C. Frank January 6, 2024 Most of those Palestinian Arabs moved into the area after the state of Israel was established. There are a ton of Muslim countries that could take them in, but they refuse. Instead, they want to crowd out the Jews. Muslims are especially interested in reconquering lands that they conquered at some point and then lost, such as Spain and (you guessed it!) Israel. I’ll tell you something Joseph Salemi told me: With both Muslims and the left, what’s left of Western culture is in an all-out war. (I assume Albanians are Western, is that correct?) We need to be fighting, not waffling about any merits of their side and imperfections of our side. Otherwise it given them an opportunity to score another victory. While we sane people were trying to reason with leftists, they ignored us and took over the world to the point where parents get arrested for refusing to allow their children to become transsexuals or even refusing to go along with their children’s “pronouns” (see my poem “A Villanelle for Robert Hoogland”). What we should have done was stop being nice and start calling them out on their bullshit. That’s why I come across as hostile at times: I’ve learned from our mistake, and what made the error more clear than ever were the October 7 attacks and the left’s appalling reaction. Drilon Bajrami January 6, 2024 Joshua, I did some research on the history of Israel, as it’s been a while since I looked into it. In 634–641 CE, the Rashidun Caliphate conquered the Levant. Then between 1098 and 1291, Palestine was a part of the Crusade states controlled by the Pope. You could say this was a “Christian” period. Muslim rule was then fully restored by the Mamluk sultans of Egypt in 1291. In 1516, it was then conquered by the Ottomans until the loss of the First World War and then Britain controlled the Mandate of Palestine. Detailing Israel’s history, I don’t see how you can make the claim that muslims only recently started to migrate to the area when, even if we discount the Crusade states period completely, muslims have been in Palestine for over a thousand years. Though, even during these times, there was sizeable Christian and Jewish community in the area. Why should they leave a land they’ve inhabited for over 1000 years for Jewish settlers who’ve been there for just over 100? Albanians (Albanian Kosovars like myself) and Illyrians before that were part of the Western culture, yes. Our biggest geopolitical ally is the US. In fact, the US funded and trained the founders of our rebel army, the KLA, who won our freedom from our occupiers. Our fight was against Eastern Slavs. What exactly do you mean by “go to war”? I don’t think I share this same view as you do because to me it’s not black and white. The KSA and Iran with their brands of Islam — I’m black and white on that but when there are Muslims (Sufis) whose main practice is about self-development and internal myticism, how is that a threat to Western culture in the way that Sunni or Shia Islam are? They’re more Buddhist than Muslim to outsiders, to be perfectly frank. I’ve read your villanelle and I completely agree with it. The age of sexual consent is 16 (varies state to state but here in the UK), the age of voting is 18, the age of drinking in the US is 21. But we’re going to entrust a mere child to make a decision that will permanently affect them for the rest of their lives? And which many come to later regret? That’s some criminal shit that must be answered for. The wrong people are being put in jail. What next, will be allow children to get tattoos? Run for public offices? If they can permanently change their physiology with drugs, what’s a tattoo that can be laser removed or drawn over? You can’t laser remove or draw over a skeletal and muscle structure. Joshua C. Frank January 6, 2024 Drilon, cut the crap. Jews have lived in Israel continuously since they followed Moses there. Muslims are the intruders and always have been. Try reading real history instead of pro-Hamas propaganda. C.B. Anderson January 8, 2024 If Al Sharpton, Brian, opposes your position on anything, then you know you are on the right track. Drilon Bajrami January 5, 2024 I can’t speak to if Claudine Gay was qualified or not since I’m too ignorant of the situation to make any assessment that could be taken seriously but the situation reminds me of when I had a poetry itch that needed scratching so I went to Google and typed in “online poetry journal”. I found the usual freeverse dross and was severally disappointed. But it gets much, much worse. When I read on one of the sites “If you have poetry to submit and identify as a female/trans or are a member of a minority please mention this in your submission” and I was APPALLED. It made sense why most of the poetry there was utter shit. This journal was STRAIGHT UP indirectly telling people that they’ll only publish poetry from those groups of people and if you’re a cis-white male, fuck you. I checked the poetry there and I needed to scroll down very far to find a male sounding name on their poetry list. I guess Shakespeare, Goethe, Homer, Virgil, Milton, Schiller and their poetry should all go and fuck off, the white cis men! Racism is when you mistreat someone based on race. It’s also when you hire someone PURELY based on race too. That’s NOT diversity or inclusion, it’s RACISM as a euphemism. It seems the extreme left is only against the former case of racism. I’m against all forms of it, personally. Great satirical piece, Joe. Joseph S. Salemi January 6, 2024 Many thanks, Drilon. Joshua C. Frank January 6, 2024 Yes, this is my experience with poetry magazines as well. Short-story magazines too. Plus they reject formal poetry and any poet who isn’t woke; writing groups are just as bad. You have to check hundreds of woke boxes in the writing itself, otherwise you’re racist, sexist, and everything else that’s anathema to the woke. When I see anything about inclusivity, I know that’s a sign not to submit anything to the magazine. Joseph S. Salemi January 5, 2024 Thanks to both of you, Brian and Drilon. You have said it all. What is truly horrifying and appalling is that the people who effectively run this world (Mainstream Media and academia are just their paid whores-on-retainer) really believe that WE are the cause of all the trouble and insanity. Joshua C. Frank January 6, 2024 I don’t think they really believe it. I think they know we’re on the side of good and want to eradicate all good from the world, just like their father the devil. Joseph S. Salemi January 6, 2024 Oh, they believe it alright, Josh. Remember that woke left-liberalism is a religion — a young new religion, but one that is very energized and active and proselytizing. And like all new religions, it has a tendency to fanaticism and lock-step thinking. If they were dishonest and cynical, we could buy them off or defeat them easily. That’s not happening. Mike Bryant January 5, 2024 DEI is the key to Marxism in American. The one-worlders will not give it up. Just as “Global Warming” became “Climate Change,” so “Diversity, Equity and Inclusion” will be rebranded as “Wellbeing and Inclusion.” It may, in fact, be renamed a number of times, but their goals will not change and the war on common sense will continue on unabated. They will not stop, they must BE stopped. https://www.informationliberation.com/?id=64220 Joseph S. Salemi January 5, 2024 “Diversity, Equity, Inclusion” is merely a dogwhistle phrase for anti-white, anti-Western, and anti-European racism. The people who use the phrase know this very well. I only wish more white people recognized it too. Joshua C. Frank January 5, 2024 Joe, this is great satire! Despite the gravity of the subject matter, I couldn’t help but laugh, because you’re spot on. You know a crime is serious when even a black person—a woman, no less!—can’t get off scot-free. Somehow, if you refuse to go along with some idiot’s gender delusion, you’re the next Hitler and need to be beaten into submission. Yet call for the real Hitler’s “final solution” and it’s protected speech. People need to know just how evil the left is, and that we’re living in a science-fiction-type dystopia because of the left. Margaret Coats January 6, 2024 Joe, it’s a good thing to make the speaker in your poem a valedictorian. The word can mean simply a “farewell speaker,” but when we think of students in the Harvard Class of 2024 who are earning the top grades and could be the valedictorian in that sense, there is a good chance they might express themselves as here. Persons who work for their honors generally scorn if not despise those who cheat and steal. They might feel too as if this former president has stolen some of the value of their education, by sullying the university’s name. About the major issue of fomenting violence by tolerating anti-semitism on campus and in the world, much has been well said that I need not say again. I will add the minor issue that a president has the duty as administrator to foster student safety, honesty, and civility. Claudine Gay failed. Now that she has been ousted as a dishonest scholar and unethical administrator, several issues come up that should have been noted earlier by others than a few perceptive students and staff. (1) intellectual inbreeding–too long climbing one ladder without little or no experience elsewhere (2) too early a departure from scholarship in order to become an administrator (3) suspiciously independent designation of field Why unrecognized “democracy” rather than political science, if not to avoid critical evaluation? These issues are important. They are in fact what takes minds away from serious considerations and allows them to be manipulated such that they lack ability to judge important matters. This failure in judgment is exactly what Gay demonstrated in her unsatisfactory view of anti-semitism and of ethics. And too many fellow scholars and administrators excused her rather than criticize her. Peter Surtees January 6, 2024 As a retired academic, who still acts as external examiner at masters and doctoral level, I’m as aware as anyone of what plagiarism is. How the Harvard authorities saw fit to tie themselves into knots in their futile efforts to excuse Gay’s plagiarism defies comprehension. Plagiarism is plagiarism and is the worst offence that any academic can commit; end of story. As for the rampant anti-semitism Gay has uttered and condoned, words fail me. I leave that to the Jews to address. If you want a perfect example of the end result of appointing people to positions for which they aren’t equipped, try my country, South Africa. It is official government policy to make appointments based on what they are pleased to call “cadre deployment”. This amounts appointing people based on their party loyalty with little consideration for experience or qualification. The predictable result is that our state-owned enterprises are failing, and hundreds of municipalities throughout the country are bankrupt and literally falling apart. Our internationally best known university is in tatters as a result of just what Harvard has done: appointing. as vice-chancellor and chair of the university council respectively, two manifestly unsuitable people whose appointments had what Harvard calls DEI written all over them. The result; need I spell it out? James Sale January 6, 2024 Vitriolic? Yes. Funny? No! Very funny? Yes, yes, yes – love that gate swinging on her ‘ass’ at the end. This is someone who has completely lost their moral compass, but which is worse: her, or the morons who appointed her? Wonderful writing Joe: keep it up. Roy Eugene Peterson January 6, 2024 Dr. Salemi, I have nothing but admiring praise for your incandescent flames of fury, especially for the well-deserved and needed pillorying of academic incompetence caused by woke racism and failure to search for truth! Who ever thought plagiarism could result in the presidency of a respected academic institution? The comments, especially by you and Brian Yapko, are profound and amazing! Susan Jarvis Bryant January 6, 2024 Thank you very much for your superb poem, Joe. Nothing hammers heinous acts home like a well-wrought piece of savage satire, and this is satire at its finest. It calls out the evil machinations of this warped world in lines that blaze with the brutality and banality of the mindset of a movement that is as evil as it gets. Sadly, there are many Claudine Gays in a society where countless officials appear to have sold their souls in favor of their status and their paychecks… not necessarily in that order. Mark Stellinga January 6, 2024 Great right, (& *write*), great left, and great uppercut, Joe…a definite 1st-round knockout! Couldn’t agree more. What a fun read. Enjoy your weekend. Joseph S. Salemi January 6, 2024 Joshua, Margaret, Peter, James, Roy, Susan, and Mark — forgive my failure to thank each of you individually for your comments and praise. I am happy that the poem struck a chord in so many people, and I rejoice that the old sword of satire can still slash. I am grateful to you all. Daniel Kemper January 6, 2024 Hey Joe, I saw the subject and the responder, and I thought, “Fasten your seatbelt!” I was not disappointed. I’d read that they were going to widen the investigation — this was just before she cracked and resigned. I think that’s why they gave her up, ultimately. Not a doubt in my mind that there are dozens and dozens more in exactly the same position at Harvard. Well, they gave her up, but still got her a $1M golden parachute and kept her on as a professor. Just jaw dropping: How do I tell my soon to be college-bound kids to behave differently than her? Ay! {I tell them the disgust they feel at her is the disgust they will feel at themselves if they behave that way.} Joseph S. Salemi January 6, 2024 Thank you, Dan. The left has pulled off a propaganda trick that is strategically brilliant. They have made it a de facto requirement that everyone go to college who wants a high-level job of any sort, or who longs for professional status. But they have captured nearly all collegiate institutions and staffed them with fanatical left-wing ideologists in every single department and administrative level. So if you want a professional career you have to submit humbly to woke leftist indoctrination every semester, and if you decline to attend college you remain working-class, and part of the “basket of deplorables.” Adam Wasem January 7, 2024 Terrific satire, Joseph, which very soberingly points up the grim reality of the left’s “propaganda trick,” which is that, precisely because of the long Marxist march through our academic institutions you referenced, virtually no institution–governmental, media, corporate, medical, what have you–can be trusted in any respect, because they are all staffed top to bottom with, at worst, brainwashed leftist ideologues, or, at best, cowards too afraid of losing their status/salary to ever take a stand. Literally nothing that comes out of a legacy institution can be trusted, nothing. Only those explicitly unaffiliated with any legacy institution can possibly be lent any credence at all, and even then only after very careful and thorough vetting. Most telling, to me, is your couplet that “Harvard is a money school, where money really matters…” And that’s our situation in a nutshell: Of the two masters the Marxist establishment in this country could have chosen to serve, they have decisively (and ironically, given their Marxist allegiance) chosen Mammon. Joseph S. Salemi January 7, 2024 Adam, thank you for your very perceptive and insightful comments. Yes, our Marxist establishment has chosen Mammon, and in fact this was predicted (and celebrated!) over a century ago by George Bernard Shaw in his play “Major Barbara.” Shaw knew that without money and brute power, the left wasn’t going anywhere, and he wanted the left to be rich, domineering, and brutal. C.B. Anderson January 8, 2024 Wasn’t it Shaw who also said, “Those who can, do; those who cannot, teach”? My undergraduate degree is from Harvard University Extension, and many of my teachers were regular Harvard faculty. Fortunately, at the time (three or more decades ago) there was none of this woke bullshit. My history of science professor, I. B. Cohen once told his class that it’s not about one’s personal judgement, it’s about the historical record. And you might recall my mentioning the classes I took with Calvert Watkins. Them was the good old days. A great poem, but is it a satire if it is all true? The “S.” in your name must stand for “Swift.” Joseph S. Salemi January 8, 2024 Italians, like the Spanish, have long names. The S. stands for two of them in my case: Salvatore and Sebastian. Satire has to be based on truth to some degree, since you are aiming at a real-world target. It can’t be completely fictive. The more truth, the deadlier the punch. Margaret Coats January 8, 2024 This replies to C. B. Anderson’s quote, “Those who can, do; those who cannot, teach.” It may apply otherwise in academia. I speak of scholars and teachers as those who can, and administrators as those who cannot, but need something to do. In the good old days, Harvard took on relatively few graduate students, all with the potential to be top scholars. However, in every group admitted, there would be some who quickly failed at scholarship. These often became academic administrators. That’s why I said above that Gay’s minimal scholarship and long administrative career should have marked her as an unsuitable president. My own experience of good presidents is that they used to teach at least one course occasionally. Increasing pressure on presidents to raise large amounts of money has caused that beneficial practice to disappear. Charles E. Southerland January 9, 2024 Joe, on point, well written and funny. Rave on, brother. Michael Van January 9, 2024 Joe, one can only hope that the addressee will come across your ode and choke on it. Honestly, though, antisemitism has become so mainstream, inculcated in the young to the degree they can’t even see how antisemitic they are, that i doubt she’d have lost her presidency—if not for her academic sins on top of her mediocrity. Just look at Drilon’s drivel. Thank you.
Brian A. Yapko January 5, 2024 This is a scathingly brilliant satire on the worst and least-qualified university president in Harvard history. Joe, I’m glad you thought well of my suggestion to write this poem. With your extensive background in Academia and your withering contempt for all things woke I do not believe there’s anyone else who could have given the subject of the disgraced Claudine Gay nearly as deep a bite. From everything I have learned about Claudine Gay, she typifies woke extremism and is the love-child of a now severely-discredited DEI and critical race theory. She was never hired for her qualifications. She was hired because of the color of her skin. And that is the most racist of hiring decisions. Imagine if we hired people because they were best-suited for the job irrespective of whether they are black or white or magenta or green. Color should not matter! She has been driven out because she is not only incompetent but dangerous. I’m glad you focus on the plagiarism allegations as well as her horrifying answers to the propriety of calling for genocide of the Jews. “It depends on the context” has taken on a life of its own as a bland but deeply cynical phrase which justifies outrageous horror. Jewish lives were threatened on campus, there were calls for genocide of the Jews, and that’s the best she could do? I have my own withering contempt for this woke, racist, antisemitic piece of work. But what now really surprises me is the way pundits on the left (CNN, MSNBC, the ususal suspects) are now complaining about how conservatives are “weaponizing” plagiarism — “as if it were a bad thing.” They say all Gay did was copy and paste other people’s work without attribution. Wait, what? Has there ever been more blatant gaslighting? That’s what plagiarism IS and any student would have been expelled for it. Instead you now have Al Sharpton claiming that her being pressured to resign was strictly from racism and you have her issuing a resignation letter that fails to acknowledge even one shred of her misconduct. It’s like a madhouse where no one will look at the reality of what just happened! How does one even deal with a left that is in a parallel universe where facts don’t matter because they interfere with ideological zealotry? It’s insane and it’s infuriating. You’ve done well to reveal this woman — and the now discredit DEI — for the horrors that they are. Thank you for presenting some serious truth in the language of sharp satire. Thank you for the belly laugh. And thank you for reminding us that sanity and truth still have a fighting chance.
Drilon Bajrami January 5, 2024 Brian, I heard about the Gay situation a few weeks back here on the SCP, and when I went on Youtube and saw what the three presidents of the universities had to say, that was appalling. They were, what, scared or terrified to mention that Jewish genocide is evil. Well it is. So is Jewish genocide of the Palestinian people. Any form of genocide is evil. What the hell terrified them so much to not say it? Beggars belief, I tell you.
Brian A. Yapko January 5, 2024 Drilon, I appreciate your views here. But I cannot gloss over something you have said that troubles me. I don’t know what you mean by “Jewish genocide of the Palestinian people.” I am half-Jewish and am not involved in any such genocide. None of the Jews I know in Los Angeles, New York, Florida, New Mexico or Oregon or even the U.K. and Australia are engaged in a Jewish genocide of Palestinians. Why do people think all Jews are avatars of the Israeli government? If you are against Israeli actions that is your privilege, but please distinguish between Israel the country as opposed to the Jewish people, the majority of whom are not Israeli but who are being punished as if they were in charge of its government. Imagine bashing in the windows of a Chinese restaurant in London because you were angry about Beijing’s treatment of the Tibetans. Or spraying graffiti on purveyors of Turkish delight because of Turkish abuse of Armenians. Such things are unheard of. Yet people are happy to target a Jewish delicatessen in Brooklyn for actions the owners have nothing to do with. Inconsistent? Yes. That’s a hallmark of antisemitism. Hatred and scapegoating of Jews for something they have no control over. Here precisely is one of the reasons antisemitism is so distressing and frustrating.
Brian A. Yapko January 6, 2024 Thank you for your thoughts and background, Drilon. This discussion has drifted a bit from Dr. Salemi’s subject matter. I will ask Evan for your email so we may perhaps continue to chat about this between ourselves, if that’s alright.
Michael Vanyukov January 9, 2024 Mr. Bajrami, what you wrote is not only false symmetry between Hamas murderers, mutilators, rapists, torturers, kidnappers—and defenders of Israel. It’s a common Jew-hating blood libel, “Jewish genocide of the Palestinian people.” It is also cowardice, after writing that, to try to justify your Jew-hate by Israel’s being the Jewish state. You are a common variety antisemite, likely a young Muslim, full of hateful cliches and devoid of knowledge and humanity.
Drilon Bajrami January 5, 2024 Hey Brian, the diction I used wasn’t quite right and I understand your trouble with my statement. I simply said “Jewish” because the Israeli state paints themselves as the “Jewish” state, but they certainly don’t univerally represent the views of all Jews. I didn’t think much of my choice of words but I can see now “Israeli genocide” would have been better used. I apologise for that and going forward, I’ll be more careful. I never meant to imply that Jewish people are fine with the genocide of the Palestinian people, especially internationally, which is totally not the case, as I know Jewish people myself who heavily oppose Israel’s treatment of Palestinians. Though, when the representatives of those people are doing things Hamas does, I can see where they’re coming from and it’s hard to blame them. If my mother was killed by Hamas and I was Israeli, I’d want their fucking extirpation from the face of the planet. Collateral damage be damned. But, similarly, a lot of Palestinians oppose what Hamas does — it’s important to recognise that. The Palestinian’s West Bank leadership is much better and they probably represent more of the Palestinians than Iran’s toy, Hamas. The left like to label Palestine the victim and the right like to label Israel as the victim but the only true victims are those who are dying and suffering from the conflict. If only the Iranian government wasn’t funding Hamas and their evil attacks on civilians. They’re causing most of the issues. However, as an ethnic Albanian who lived under Serbian occupation, if a people believe they have a legitimate claim to a land and rebels to fight for it, how can I be such a hypocrite as to criticise them? However, the KLA — on which you specifically, Brian, and Joe by proxy, have inspired me to write a poem about — have never attacked civilians. They went after the occupation’s military forces and their police (the police would regularly terrorise ethnic Albanians just because they could, who would they call for help, the police?) What Hamas did was 100% deplorable and should be decried. But so should Israel’s illegal occupation of the West Bank. Israel are no angels in this conflict and their actions have added fuel to the fire. They are doing what Russia did to Kaliningrad and now in 2024 nobody can deny it is Russian. In decades to come, the West Bank will similarly become Israel. That is criminal. As in it actually breaks international laws, yet they are allowed to get away with it and face zero repercussions for their actions. This, rightfully, angers many people and then it becomes a David vs Goliath and the public will always side with David. I can partially understand what is going on now because of their history, the Arabs invaded Israel totally unprovoked and Israel crushed them completely. The victor usually dictates the the terms of surrender, including dividing up conquered lands. But to me, it feels like the Israeli state is still taking out that anger on modern-day Palestinians, who just like you, Brian, had nothing to do with the Arab-Israeli war. They took the Palestinian lands (and Jerusalem) as their reward for winning the war, isn’t that enough to assuage them? It’s overall just a really sad situation and I hope in some way, a resolution that works for all parties is done. I’m sure Israelis are sick and tired of living in fear of missile attacks, as are the Palestinians — there desperately needs to be a resolution. I only mention the West Bank situation because at times, especially here in the UK, you can be labelled an anti-semite for even calling out Israel for fair points of criticism. Because, however evil their actions, there is a reason Hamas is doing it and Israel’s post war actions are those reasons. Bernie Sanders — whatever you think of him — has even been labelled an anti-semite and he’s Jewish himself. Anti-semitism is a real issue, I’ve heard some things said about Jews in private that had me reeling, but we must also not censor anti-Israel views which are valid. I hope this comment doesn’t cause you any further trouble, Brian, but I’m always open to discuss my views and defend them. Cheers for the discussion.
Joshua C. Frank January 5, 2024 The trouble I have with it is that you’re defending Hamas by bringing up false claims of Israeli “genocide” of Palestinians, thus implying that Hamas was justified in killing Israelis. Israel has the right to defend itself, no matter what that takes. Anyone who disagrees with that is as anti-Semitic as Hitler himself, just as anyone who claims that America doesn’t have the right to defend itself is that much anti-American. Your sympathy for people who want to wipe out all Jews everywhere is uncalled-for. Take it to your Jew-hating friends, we don’t want to hear it here.
Drilon Bajrami January 5, 2024 Joshua, when it comes to whether or not there is an actual genocide, there can be varying opinions on that as many things in life aren’t black and white. At the very least they’re currently ethnically cleansing the West Bank. That is fact. I repeatedly and voraciously denounced Hamas in my comment and it’s not for any other reason than fuck them and their evil fucking methods. That’s it. Fuck them. I’m not trying to be a diplomat and play both sides here. I don’t secretly love them. I, in fact, very much hate Iran and well by proxy Hamas. What the Islamic government has done to that beautiful country and its culture is sickening. Also, I did talk about the unprovoked war and the right of self defence, you are talking as if I made no mention of it. That’s very disingenous. “Your sympathy for people who want to wipe out all Jews everywhere is uncalled-for” — I never showed such sympathy, in fact, I did the very opposite and I was sympathising with Israelis! Though, by that exact same token, if a Palestinian kid’s mother was killed by Israeli strikes — that might prompt them to join Hamas. I may as well write it out since you just accused me of it anyway. Joshua, I appreciate the fact you are pro-Israel, that’s clear but please actually read what I say because what you’ve written and the reality of my comment are two different things and that’s not how to have an honest debate with anyone. I have no desire for a screaming match. Brian wants to have a constructive debate with me and I apologised for making a mistake, I was wrong for phrasing it that way. You just want to shout at me because I’m not in your camp. I could concur to that screaming match and I’d reply and accuse you of wanting and even reveling Palestinian deaths to pay for what Hamas has done but I don’t think that’s true and you’re that heartless. Just how it’s untrue that I’m heartless and want Israeli deaths. At the end of the day, peace and a resolution is the only answer.
Joshua C. Frank January 6, 2024 Yes, I read your comment, but the peace you’re proposing is an impossibility that ends up being little more than appeasement, which didn’t work in Europe during World War II. Muslims everywhere want Jews wiped out, then Christians. It’s in the Koran and everything. Trying to have peace with them is tantamount to taking their side for this reason. What would this peace involve? Meeting them halfway in their desire to kill all Jews? I have gone on record saying that Islam, just like leftism, is an evil that needs to be eradicated, but that doesn’t mean I think Muslims need to be eradicated. No, it’s just the belief system that needs to be done away with if Jews and Christians are to survive, just as leftist beliefs need to be abandoned for the same reason. I would go after anyone who demonstrated any sympathy for the left too.
Drilon Bajrami January 6, 2024 Joshua, peace may very well be an impossibility but if that is the case then what do you propose should be done? The complete annexation of all Palestinian lands and the removal of Palestinian arabs from those lands? I’m not even trying to be tongue-in-cheek here, it’s a legitimate question. You may be surprised to know that I was born into a muslim family, luckily, I wasn’t heavily dogmatised at all so I was able to break away and become an atheist as a teen. Now, I’m much more of a mystic and I do believe in a concept of God, my concept is very close to “The Tao” of the taoists and “Brahman” from Hinduism. Saying all of that, I do not have a positive view on Islam (with my insider’s perspective) and I’m in agreement with you that the prevailing forms of Islam in today’s society and age are in need of eradication. I hope both the KSA and Iran lose this Arab Cold War and something better takes their place. And just like with anti-semitism, saying all of this isn’t Islamophobia. I think we’re both making fair and valid points. However, I will say that Sufi Islam is a totally different kettle of fish from Sunni and Shia forms. It’s a shame it’s by far the least dominant form and the other forms prone to causing violence are. I’d look into Sufiism for 5-10 minutes and see what you think. We can agree to disagree on this point, though.
Joshua C. Frank January 6, 2024 Most of those Palestinian Arabs moved into the area after the state of Israel was established. There are a ton of Muslim countries that could take them in, but they refuse. Instead, they want to crowd out the Jews. Muslims are especially interested in reconquering lands that they conquered at some point and then lost, such as Spain and (you guessed it!) Israel. I’ll tell you something Joseph Salemi told me: With both Muslims and the left, what’s left of Western culture is in an all-out war. (I assume Albanians are Western, is that correct?) We need to be fighting, not waffling about any merits of their side and imperfections of our side. Otherwise it given them an opportunity to score another victory. While we sane people were trying to reason with leftists, they ignored us and took over the world to the point where parents get arrested for refusing to allow their children to become transsexuals or even refusing to go along with their children’s “pronouns” (see my poem “A Villanelle for Robert Hoogland”). What we should have done was stop being nice and start calling them out on their bullshit. That’s why I come across as hostile at times: I’ve learned from our mistake, and what made the error more clear than ever were the October 7 attacks and the left’s appalling reaction.
Drilon Bajrami January 6, 2024 Joshua, I did some research on the history of Israel, as it’s been a while since I looked into it. In 634–641 CE, the Rashidun Caliphate conquered the Levant. Then between 1098 and 1291, Palestine was a part of the Crusade states controlled by the Pope. You could say this was a “Christian” period. Muslim rule was then fully restored by the Mamluk sultans of Egypt in 1291. In 1516, it was then conquered by the Ottomans until the loss of the First World War and then Britain controlled the Mandate of Palestine. Detailing Israel’s history, I don’t see how you can make the claim that muslims only recently started to migrate to the area when, even if we discount the Crusade states period completely, muslims have been in Palestine for over a thousand years. Though, even during these times, there was sizeable Christian and Jewish community in the area. Why should they leave a land they’ve inhabited for over 1000 years for Jewish settlers who’ve been there for just over 100? Albanians (Albanian Kosovars like myself) and Illyrians before that were part of the Western culture, yes. Our biggest geopolitical ally is the US. In fact, the US funded and trained the founders of our rebel army, the KLA, who won our freedom from our occupiers. Our fight was against Eastern Slavs. What exactly do you mean by “go to war”? I don’t think I share this same view as you do because to me it’s not black and white. The KSA and Iran with their brands of Islam — I’m black and white on that but when there are Muslims (Sufis) whose main practice is about self-development and internal myticism, how is that a threat to Western culture in the way that Sunni or Shia Islam are? They’re more Buddhist than Muslim to outsiders, to be perfectly frank. I’ve read your villanelle and I completely agree with it. The age of sexual consent is 16 (varies state to state but here in the UK), the age of voting is 18, the age of drinking in the US is 21. But we’re going to entrust a mere child to make a decision that will permanently affect them for the rest of their lives? And which many come to later regret? That’s some criminal shit that must be answered for. The wrong people are being put in jail. What next, will be allow children to get tattoos? Run for public offices? If they can permanently change their physiology with drugs, what’s a tattoo that can be laser removed or drawn over? You can’t laser remove or draw over a skeletal and muscle structure.
Joshua C. Frank January 6, 2024 Drilon, cut the crap. Jews have lived in Israel continuously since they followed Moses there. Muslims are the intruders and always have been. Try reading real history instead of pro-Hamas propaganda.
C.B. Anderson January 8, 2024 If Al Sharpton, Brian, opposes your position on anything, then you know you are on the right track.
Drilon Bajrami January 5, 2024 I can’t speak to if Claudine Gay was qualified or not since I’m too ignorant of the situation to make any assessment that could be taken seriously but the situation reminds me of when I had a poetry itch that needed scratching so I went to Google and typed in “online poetry journal”. I found the usual freeverse dross and was severally disappointed. But it gets much, much worse. When I read on one of the sites “If you have poetry to submit and identify as a female/trans or are a member of a minority please mention this in your submission” and I was APPALLED. It made sense why most of the poetry there was utter shit. This journal was STRAIGHT UP indirectly telling people that they’ll only publish poetry from those groups of people and if you’re a cis-white male, fuck you. I checked the poetry there and I needed to scroll down very far to find a male sounding name on their poetry list. I guess Shakespeare, Goethe, Homer, Virgil, Milton, Schiller and their poetry should all go and fuck off, the white cis men! Racism is when you mistreat someone based on race. It’s also when you hire someone PURELY based on race too. That’s NOT diversity or inclusion, it’s RACISM as a euphemism. It seems the extreme left is only against the former case of racism. I’m against all forms of it, personally. Great satirical piece, Joe.
Joshua C. Frank January 6, 2024 Yes, this is my experience with poetry magazines as well. Short-story magazines too. Plus they reject formal poetry and any poet who isn’t woke; writing groups are just as bad. You have to check hundreds of woke boxes in the writing itself, otherwise you’re racist, sexist, and everything else that’s anathema to the woke. When I see anything about inclusivity, I know that’s a sign not to submit anything to the magazine.
Joseph S. Salemi January 5, 2024 Thanks to both of you, Brian and Drilon. You have said it all. What is truly horrifying and appalling is that the people who effectively run this world (Mainstream Media and academia are just their paid whores-on-retainer) really believe that WE are the cause of all the trouble and insanity.
Joshua C. Frank January 6, 2024 I don’t think they really believe it. I think they know we’re on the side of good and want to eradicate all good from the world, just like their father the devil.
Joseph S. Salemi January 6, 2024 Oh, they believe it alright, Josh. Remember that woke left-liberalism is a religion — a young new religion, but one that is very energized and active and proselytizing. And like all new religions, it has a tendency to fanaticism and lock-step thinking. If they were dishonest and cynical, we could buy them off or defeat them easily. That’s not happening.
Mike Bryant January 5, 2024 DEI is the key to Marxism in American. The one-worlders will not give it up. Just as “Global Warming” became “Climate Change,” so “Diversity, Equity and Inclusion” will be rebranded as “Wellbeing and Inclusion.” It may, in fact, be renamed a number of times, but their goals will not change and the war on common sense will continue on unabated. They will not stop, they must BE stopped. https://www.informationliberation.com/?id=64220
Joseph S. Salemi January 5, 2024 “Diversity, Equity, Inclusion” is merely a dogwhistle phrase for anti-white, anti-Western, and anti-European racism. The people who use the phrase know this very well. I only wish more white people recognized it too.
Joshua C. Frank January 5, 2024 Joe, this is great satire! Despite the gravity of the subject matter, I couldn’t help but laugh, because you’re spot on. You know a crime is serious when even a black person—a woman, no less!—can’t get off scot-free. Somehow, if you refuse to go along with some idiot’s gender delusion, you’re the next Hitler and need to be beaten into submission. Yet call for the real Hitler’s “final solution” and it’s protected speech. People need to know just how evil the left is, and that we’re living in a science-fiction-type dystopia because of the left.
Margaret Coats January 6, 2024 Joe, it’s a good thing to make the speaker in your poem a valedictorian. The word can mean simply a “farewell speaker,” but when we think of students in the Harvard Class of 2024 who are earning the top grades and could be the valedictorian in that sense, there is a good chance they might express themselves as here. Persons who work for their honors generally scorn if not despise those who cheat and steal. They might feel too as if this former president has stolen some of the value of their education, by sullying the university’s name. About the major issue of fomenting violence by tolerating anti-semitism on campus and in the world, much has been well said that I need not say again. I will add the minor issue that a president has the duty as administrator to foster student safety, honesty, and civility. Claudine Gay failed. Now that she has been ousted as a dishonest scholar and unethical administrator, several issues come up that should have been noted earlier by others than a few perceptive students and staff. (1) intellectual inbreeding–too long climbing one ladder without little or no experience elsewhere (2) too early a departure from scholarship in order to become an administrator (3) suspiciously independent designation of field Why unrecognized “democracy” rather than political science, if not to avoid critical evaluation? These issues are important. They are in fact what takes minds away from serious considerations and allows them to be manipulated such that they lack ability to judge important matters. This failure in judgment is exactly what Gay demonstrated in her unsatisfactory view of anti-semitism and of ethics. And too many fellow scholars and administrators excused her rather than criticize her.
Peter Surtees January 6, 2024 As a retired academic, who still acts as external examiner at masters and doctoral level, I’m as aware as anyone of what plagiarism is. How the Harvard authorities saw fit to tie themselves into knots in their futile efforts to excuse Gay’s plagiarism defies comprehension. Plagiarism is plagiarism and is the worst offence that any academic can commit; end of story. As for the rampant anti-semitism Gay has uttered and condoned, words fail me. I leave that to the Jews to address. If you want a perfect example of the end result of appointing people to positions for which they aren’t equipped, try my country, South Africa. It is official government policy to make appointments based on what they are pleased to call “cadre deployment”. This amounts appointing people based on their party loyalty with little consideration for experience or qualification. The predictable result is that our state-owned enterprises are failing, and hundreds of municipalities throughout the country are bankrupt and literally falling apart. Our internationally best known university is in tatters as a result of just what Harvard has done: appointing. as vice-chancellor and chair of the university council respectively, two manifestly unsuitable people whose appointments had what Harvard calls DEI written all over them. The result; need I spell it out?
James Sale January 6, 2024 Vitriolic? Yes. Funny? No! Very funny? Yes, yes, yes – love that gate swinging on her ‘ass’ at the end. This is someone who has completely lost their moral compass, but which is worse: her, or the morons who appointed her? Wonderful writing Joe: keep it up.
Roy Eugene Peterson January 6, 2024 Dr. Salemi, I have nothing but admiring praise for your incandescent flames of fury, especially for the well-deserved and needed pillorying of academic incompetence caused by woke racism and failure to search for truth! Who ever thought plagiarism could result in the presidency of a respected academic institution? The comments, especially by you and Brian Yapko, are profound and amazing!
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 6, 2024 Thank you very much for your superb poem, Joe. Nothing hammers heinous acts home like a well-wrought piece of savage satire, and this is satire at its finest. It calls out the evil machinations of this warped world in lines that blaze with the brutality and banality of the mindset of a movement that is as evil as it gets. Sadly, there are many Claudine Gays in a society where countless officials appear to have sold their souls in favor of their status and their paychecks… not necessarily in that order.
Mark Stellinga January 6, 2024 Great right, (& *write*), great left, and great uppercut, Joe…a definite 1st-round knockout! Couldn’t agree more. What a fun read. Enjoy your weekend.
Joseph S. Salemi January 6, 2024 Joshua, Margaret, Peter, James, Roy, Susan, and Mark — forgive my failure to thank each of you individually for your comments and praise. I am happy that the poem struck a chord in so many people, and I rejoice that the old sword of satire can still slash. I am grateful to you all.
Daniel Kemper January 6, 2024 Hey Joe, I saw the subject and the responder, and I thought, “Fasten your seatbelt!” I was not disappointed. I’d read that they were going to widen the investigation — this was just before she cracked and resigned. I think that’s why they gave her up, ultimately. Not a doubt in my mind that there are dozens and dozens more in exactly the same position at Harvard. Well, they gave her up, but still got her a $1M golden parachute and kept her on as a professor. Just jaw dropping: How do I tell my soon to be college-bound kids to behave differently than her? Ay! {I tell them the disgust they feel at her is the disgust they will feel at themselves if they behave that way.}
Joseph S. Salemi January 6, 2024 Thank you, Dan. The left has pulled off a propaganda trick that is strategically brilliant. They have made it a de facto requirement that everyone go to college who wants a high-level job of any sort, or who longs for professional status. But they have captured nearly all collegiate institutions and staffed them with fanatical left-wing ideologists in every single department and administrative level. So if you want a professional career you have to submit humbly to woke leftist indoctrination every semester, and if you decline to attend college you remain working-class, and part of the “basket of deplorables.”
Adam Wasem January 7, 2024 Terrific satire, Joseph, which very soberingly points up the grim reality of the left’s “propaganda trick,” which is that, precisely because of the long Marxist march through our academic institutions you referenced, virtually no institution–governmental, media, corporate, medical, what have you–can be trusted in any respect, because they are all staffed top to bottom with, at worst, brainwashed leftist ideologues, or, at best, cowards too afraid of losing their status/salary to ever take a stand. Literally nothing that comes out of a legacy institution can be trusted, nothing. Only those explicitly unaffiliated with any legacy institution can possibly be lent any credence at all, and even then only after very careful and thorough vetting. Most telling, to me, is your couplet that “Harvard is a money school, where money really matters…” And that’s our situation in a nutshell: Of the two masters the Marxist establishment in this country could have chosen to serve, they have decisively (and ironically, given their Marxist allegiance) chosen Mammon.
Joseph S. Salemi January 7, 2024 Adam, thank you for your very perceptive and insightful comments. Yes, our Marxist establishment has chosen Mammon, and in fact this was predicted (and celebrated!) over a century ago by George Bernard Shaw in his play “Major Barbara.” Shaw knew that without money and brute power, the left wasn’t going anywhere, and he wanted the left to be rich, domineering, and brutal.
C.B. Anderson January 8, 2024 Wasn’t it Shaw who also said, “Those who can, do; those who cannot, teach”? My undergraduate degree is from Harvard University Extension, and many of my teachers were regular Harvard faculty. Fortunately, at the time (three or more decades ago) there was none of this woke bullshit. My history of science professor, I. B. Cohen once told his class that it’s not about one’s personal judgement, it’s about the historical record. And you might recall my mentioning the classes I took with Calvert Watkins. Them was the good old days. A great poem, but is it a satire if it is all true? The “S.” in your name must stand for “Swift.”
Joseph S. Salemi January 8, 2024 Italians, like the Spanish, have long names. The S. stands for two of them in my case: Salvatore and Sebastian. Satire has to be based on truth to some degree, since you are aiming at a real-world target. It can’t be completely fictive. The more truth, the deadlier the punch.
Margaret Coats January 8, 2024 This replies to C. B. Anderson’s quote, “Those who can, do; those who cannot, teach.” It may apply otherwise in academia. I speak of scholars and teachers as those who can, and administrators as those who cannot, but need something to do. In the good old days, Harvard took on relatively few graduate students, all with the potential to be top scholars. However, in every group admitted, there would be some who quickly failed at scholarship. These often became academic administrators. That’s why I said above that Gay’s minimal scholarship and long administrative career should have marked her as an unsuitable president. My own experience of good presidents is that they used to teach at least one course occasionally. Increasing pressure on presidents to raise large amounts of money has caused that beneficial practice to disappear.
Michael Van January 9, 2024 Joe, one can only hope that the addressee will come across your ode and choke on it. Honestly, though, antisemitism has become so mainstream, inculcated in the young to the degree they can’t even see how antisemitic they are, that i doubt she’d have lost her presidency—if not for her academic sins on top of her mediocrity. Just look at Drilon’s drivel. Thank you.
