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Supply and Demand
Infinite happiness isn’t available.
Something so precious just isn’t that scalable.
Boundless dismay, though, is much more attainable.
Being uncoveted, pain is quite gainable.
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Off Day
The best that I can do today
Is leak a sigh of lost dismay
And wish that it were yesterday
Or possibly tomorrow.
But morning brings the mood you get
And now this sunshone day feels wet,
So I must feed the hoping debt
__The future lets me borrow
__To set off current sorrow.
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Benjamin Cannicott Shavitz received his PhD in linguistics from the CUNY Graduate Center in New York City. He lives in Manhattan, NYC, where he was born and raised. He has published two collections of his own poetry (Levities and Gravities), as well as an anthology of public domain poems by New York City poets (Songs of Excelsior). His work has also been published in The Lyric. He runs two online businesses: one that teaches innovative, linguistically informed classes on language skills, including poetry writing, and one that offers dialect coaching for actors. See www.kingsfieldendeavors.com for an overview of his activities and www.kingsfieldlinguistics.com for his businesses.
Well, at least two tough-minded poems that aren’t wearing Smiley-Face buttons. I’m glad to see them.
In “Supply and Demand,” I like the way the poet ends each line with a dactyl.
In “Off Day,” I like the structure but I don’t see why it is altered in the second section. I would omit the line “The future lets me borrow”. This would make the whole poem tighter.
In my mind, “Off Day” is two matching stanzas and a one-line coda, but these things are a matter of perception and analysis. Another analysis would say that the published version of the poem is built on the requirement that every rhyme occur three times. But nothing can really be proven, particularly with a piece this short. All that really exists is the sound structure.
I’m glad you enjoyed the dactyls. They are fun to rhyme.
I just love linguistically sophisticated poems, and I get the feeling that Du kannst nicht anders. You should be hearing from The Lyric soon on a related matter.