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The Hermit Curses

Sharp sunrises cut white streaks on the plain,
whet edges on black soil, where all at once
the spirit clefts from matter, and my gains
recoil when I recall your face. Not front
or profiled, but the back—like some long cursed
outlander on the road you think you know
but dare not hail. Grey and sallow, I thirst
to lose myself, to feel the spasmic throe
in limbs and spine, to swallow the abyss
and fill it with the aching dark of deep
surrender. Yet how can I write of this,
to smile in my flesh and turn your cheek,
when I’m supposed to soar, hear orchestras
in solos, unearth color in a pause?

.

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Joshua S. Fullman is Professor of English and Director of the Writing Center at California Baptist University where he teaches poetry and creative writing. His book of poems, Voices of Iona, touches on themes of time, pilgrimage, and the pursuit of God in the British Isles.

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4 Responses

  1. Joseph S. Salemi

    This is a strange poem, but interesting and compelling. Something is disturbing the speaker, but it is not immediately clear what that thing is. He is remembering and speaking to someone (perhaps a former friend or lover from his pre-hermit days), and there seems to be some kind of rebuke in his words. But perhaps the person he speaks to is God or a patron saint, who may have left the hermit in that “dark night of the soul” when prayers seem disregarded and unanswered.

    Perhaps the hermit is a contemplative, aiming for some kind of mystical union with God, and being denied it for some reason.

    Reply
  2. Paul A. Freeman

    As I read this, in a moment of weakness ‘my gains / recoil when I recall your face…’ – the hermit has recalled a loved one from his past and has a bad case of the guilts. The dark, imagery helps convey the feeling of helplessness to these ‘before’ glimpses that to the hermit are an abyss.

    Thanks for the read, Joshua.

    Reply
  3. Burt Winchell

    The distraught hermit has had a glimpse of light, only to reveal the dark abyss within.
    It seems like a cursed adventure because of the “unknowing” of the path he is on.
    He is remembering secret and holy “encounters” which serve to bring a greater dissatisfaction with his current isolation.
    This is a poem of despair and hope at the same time.
    The sharp sunrise is both exposing and promising that out of darkness shines a great light, although shrouded for a time, while the hermit/soul acknowledges the limitations of his flesh as it persecutes true goodness.
    He will emerge from his “unfeeling” ways to experience the vibrancy of fresh light and beautiful sounds that accompany deep surrender.

    Reply
  4. Irina Renfro

    I like the way the colors are presented in this poem. It begins with the juxtaposition of white and black< and then we are into the very tragic mind of the speaker & into the gray (color) of his aching dark Of deep surrender [gray to dark]. If the beginning of the poem is silent & filled rather with very visible imagery (of the beloved's back while trying to get to see beloved's cheek – as to get his/her attention & [finally] to see the face. This is the moment (at the very end) when the solos & orchestra are mentioned< and the poem comes to coda of unearthed sound [while the turned cheek suggest the biblical moment but in non-biblical sense gives another color (pink, perhaps), to the entire picture: from appeal to hope of connection.

    Reply

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