Humor

. . On a Starred Night derived from a George Meredith poem On a starred night, Prince Lucifer uprose; From smoke and stink and howl of the distraught And sulphur stench and brimstone, change he sought. Garbed...

. I wish I could build me a magic machine, A magic machine that would last, Till the octopus sings and the Orca grows wings, And the lowly worm ceases to cast. I’d fashion the walls out of wonder and...

. We appreciate your purchase of this version of the game That caused Mr. Milton Bradley to become a household name. Though we cannot laud the methods for his capital success, We endorse Life, with some...

. How to Write a Formal Poem(That Doesn’t Seem Like One) abandon capitals at all times. TrustYour sense for sound but, please, avoid rhymes. ChooseA rhythm you can readily adjustAnd phrase what you mean so...

. Dillard “Sparky” Barker Is a Doc at CDC. He’s announced a market- Driven cure for you and me. Helicaps—not beanies Are the answer to our prayers. The downward blowing breezes Now defeat all virus...

. Is poetry that’s free as free as all That?  Surely it’s the poet who is free Or not.  He makes the choice to make a sprawl Of words (and punctuation?) dribblingly Straight (straight?) along the...

. Dear President Biden You act as if you were elected To spend my great-grandchildren’s money. By spending trillions you’ve infected Each one of them with debt gone viral, And I don’t think it’s wise...

. The Plague They muzzle their breath, Sealed in rooms as if in tombs, Scared to death of death. . . A Tale from the City They’ve worn my patience very thin So I wear my mask upon my chin “Nose...

. Our neighbours bought a sheepdog: a heeler brindled blue, And all was well (or so it seemed) until his faults showed through; For when it came to penning sheep, he lost a large amount, And bit the hand...

. Rededication The sullen days of winter Remain a galling splinter Within my thickened skin, So let the games begin! Though I’m inclined to focus Upon the blooming crocus, The loom of April fills My mind...

. A Box of Chocolates is like Life: (That Mrs. Gump she got it right.) You  never know just what you’ll get, so take a chance: Jump in; don’t fret! Life’s Bittersweet---both dark and light--- but...

. The Bibliophile’s Birth Certificate Marius Michel (1846-1925) was one of the most prominent and gifted bookbinders in France. He produced work in strikingly beautiful and unique designs, and today his...

. Don’t you love the Oxford Dictionary?  When I first read it, I thought it was a really really long poem about everything. —David Bowie A dictionary is an indispensable Companion on the journey through...

. A kangaroo visiting from Australia beholds the kangaroo court attempting to impeach President Trump for the second time and, taking the current kangaroo judge’s momentary absence as an opportunity, dresses...

. A touch of wit is worth its writ in gold. We miss you, John, for being ever bold. You spoke your mind or, rather, wrote it down with learning lightly worn, and played the clown. Your loyal readers...

. The Second Roman Empire Those were the days, when Julius Caesar Saw a country and would seize her, And the busty Roman matrons Ran the house and bossed the patrons. Christians, at the least suggestion, Gave...

. Jelly Guts Rule The book, we’ve been apprised, is most uncool— Young Marco and the farmer by the pool, Wits locked in friendly if serious duel, And Marco sends the farmer off to school. One Dr. Seuss,...

. Oh hail the master puppeteer, Controller of the strings. The altruistic engineer, Sagaciousness he brings. With breathtaking dexterity, He moves us all about. From rich and famed celebrity, To every...

. Around the rearview mirror of my car There hangs a gonfalon of love divine. My talisman, my bright and guiding star, From which both fortitude and healing shine. What is this mighty banner hanging down? Not...

. Advice from Dante “If you hear nostrums* in the market cried, Behave like men, and not like witless sheep.” ---Dante, Paradiso, Canto V Behave like men, and not like witless sheep. The CDC has shown no...

. I heard the harvested remains Of infants coursing through my veins Will save me from the Wuhan Flu--- I’m gonna get some, how ‘bout you? Those babies were already dead, Their blood’s not really on my...

. Bang! “The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis.”---This quote was attributed by John Kennedy to medieval thinker Dante Alighieri  I’m...

. Girolamo Savonarola Here we are at circus, you and me and all the others, facing each and every way in the Age of Absurdity. Rather alike some Swiftian satire, some Aesopian consequence, some Seussian...

 . This silver-furred yogi of how to stay fit,  This bespectacled guru of health,  Is a growly voiced sage of nefarious wit;  A hoodwinking master of...

The author of the above poem, circulating online, is unknown. From The Epoch Times (March 2, 2021) "Biden Omits Mention of Dr. Seuss From ‘Read Across America Day’ Amid Concerns of Racist...

. . He met her one Summer, the girl of his dreams, A freckle-faced beauty just out of her teens. He chatted her up, and he thought he’d done well, But with these young women, you never can tell. She said...

. Governor Mussolini Fifteen thousand souls,Killed by the stroke of his pen,For whom no bell tolls. . . Covid Chronicles I saw a naked face today---It nearly took my breath away!I knew the girl and so I asked...

. In Astrophysics, I’m ranked “One,” and Greek and Latin I find fun. All serve me well at Crossword “Times,” with each day’s matrix solved by nine. Most free verse, though? Puzzles...

. Dear friends we gather here to say goodbye To words once used to speak both truth and lie. The HE and SHE and HIS and HERS and MINE By ZIE interred forever at ZIR shrine. No more can we know ZIM or VER by...

. The Internet’s a work of art, Now everybody’s phone is smart. They’re very compact, very small, And so, begins a tale so tall. For once upon a time, a gent, A load of cash one day he spent. Delighted...

. For others it may be a breeze. Those hardy Arctic folk would wheeze With laughter as we Texans sneeze __And shiver. This slick of ice and lick of snow; This frightful bite as ill winds blow Nips our...

  There is a scourge that permeates our midstWhich we cannot so easily dismiss.Elitists strive to elevate this curse;A type of art most poets call free verse. True poetry once rhymed and had some form,A...

. For my friend Rose R., with sincere condolences. Good Lord, imagine my bad luck: I’m married to a hockey puck. I don’t know how it came about— A lover morphed into a lout! You’re a widow, not a...

. L O V E... It’s not a dozen scentless hothouse roses. __It’s not a chocolate-box of sweet cliché. It’s not the scorching kiss that lust imposes __To lead the fired and fevered flesh astray. It’s not...

C.B. Anderson was the longtime gardener for the PBS television series, The Victory Garden.  Hundreds of his poems have appeared in scores of print and electronic journals out of North America, Great Britain, Ireland, Austria, Australia and India. 

. All Major League Baseball teams share revenues, We treat them as if they were brothers. But sometimes self-interest means we refuse To treat each the same as the others. Some teams like the Yankees are...

. Reality Check A ladybug landed on my arm On Saturday. I felt the charm The chosen feel. It brought with it Good luck—or so I thought—then bit Deep into me, paused for air, Spread its spots beside a...

. They’re impeaching Number 45 today--- Like toddlers born to moan, Like bulldogs with a bone, Like warlords with a drone, Like tyrants on a throne, Although they know The Don left yesterday--- They’re...

. They’ll be coming for you soon, Chairman Xho. It’s an old, familiar tune that we all know. You’ve been howlin’ at the moon And they’ll say that you’re a loon And you’ll bring us all to...

. “Ha ha,” is all she gives her Dad when he makes fun of what she said. No more parental Galahad who nightly carried her to bed. He’s just a jaded humorist who doesn’t even merit laughs from her which...