Humor

. For my friend Rose R., with sincere condolences. Good Lord, imagine my bad luck: I’m married to a hockey puck. I don’t know how it came about— A lover morphed into a lout! You’re a widow, not a...

. L O V E... It’s not a dozen scentless hothouse roses. __It’s not a chocolate-box of sweet cliché. It’s not the scorching kiss that lust imposes __To lead the fired and fevered flesh astray. It’s not...

C.B. Anderson was the longtime gardener for the PBS television series, The Victory Garden.  Hundreds of his poems have appeared in scores of print and electronic journals out of North America, Great Britain, Ireland, Austria, Australia and India. 

. All Major League Baseball teams share revenues, We treat them as if they were brothers. But sometimes self-interest means we refuse To treat each the same as the others. Some teams like the Yankees are...

. Reality Check A ladybug landed on my arm On Saturday. I felt the charm The chosen feel. It brought with it Good luck—or so I thought—then bit Deep into me, paused for air, Spread its spots beside a...

. They’re impeaching Number 45 today--- Like toddlers born to moan, Like bulldogs with a bone, Like warlords with a drone, Like tyrants on a throne, Although they know The Don left yesterday--- They’re...

. They’ll be coming for you soon, Chairman Xho. It’s an old, familiar tune that we all know. You’ve been howlin’ at the moon And they’ll say that you’re a loon And you’ll bring us all to...

. “Ha ha,” is all she gives her Dad when he makes fun of what she said. No more parental Galahad who nightly carried her to bed. He’s just a jaded humorist who doesn’t even merit laughs from her which...

. We can “Build Back Better” if we choose “Truth Over Lies.” What these slogans promise lead us to a big surprise. When the new administration’s promises come true, This is what we’ll get when...

. The Senior Covid Blues I have read many articles about the virus particles that swirl about and sneak into our noses. I know it takes tenacity to keep one’s lung capacity and not look up and see the roots...

. Lahaina Mynahs The droppings of a thousand Mynah birds (While nesting in a Maui banyan tree) Descended on my pre-teen daughter. Words Cannot describe her abject misery. Her shoulders, arms and hands were...

. Blackwater River State Park A warm summer day. The kayak floats quietly. The cicadas sing. . . Nightfall at Pensacola Beach The sun has now set And not a light can be seen. What just made that...

. The world is ruled by two men­---Jack and Zuck, More than their strange appearance their deeds suck. Jack’s goatee truly suits a Marxist boss Who for free speech and thought gives not a toss, While Zuck...

. Go, Fading Leaf __Go, fading leaf, Tell him who thought my heart to spurn __That life is brief (But briefer still his love did burn __I fool enough was to return). __Tell him who sold Our shaky venture for...

. B.C./D.C. Where history and myth converge Two famous founders do emerge, Of nations that excelled at war. (Coincidence?  Or something more?) George Washington and Romulus Are equally eponymous, And...

. How To Be Like Byron Bright butterfly, why do you fade Into that duller, browner shade That strays into the flame at night? You’ve lost your nature’s vibrant light And seek it in another source. For you,...

. Daily we vent and cement our position In righteous and virtuous words. Unity fails if each crucial decision Is left to the whim of the herds. Deplorable plebs are so flawed and naïve When treading the...

. I fear my motivation’s dead; there’s no one home inside my head. I’ve looked for it from dusk to dawn; I tell you, it is really gone! The situation is quite dire; my neurons will no longer fire. I...

.   January 25 is the birthday of Scottish poet Robert Burns (1759–1796). On or near this day, Scots worldwide gather for a supper of haggis (traditionally made of sheep innards), whisky, and poetry....

Seven inches, simple dark design My modern mind disdains the notion That the measure of devotion Is the size or splendor of the shrine. Spilling supplications, meat and wine My ancestors with deep...

. My inconsistent pharmacist, Administer that certain cure That can relax my hardened fist In doses sweet with taste impure. O give me something for the pain, My head thumps fast, my heart beats slow, Or...

(All poems by Bruce Dale Wise) The Victory of Donald J. Trump in the 2020 U.S. Election by Erisbawdle Cue You can’t make something be so, if the numbers are all wrong. You can’t hide Waldo in a place...

. Benvenuto Cellini’s Salt-Cellar A woman sitting back, just mildly curious To hear a man’s contrived, seductive patter, Waiting to see what fabrications spurious He’s dreamt up now. It doesn’t really...

. Humility Lo, I have seen the Muses plain. What need Have I to go on living?—’Twas in Rome: I touched the flesh (it was a holy deed) That Michelangelo shaped out of stone. O what a great and glorious...

. Wokeness by Russel Winick “Amen and Awoman” the Congressman said, The Leftists all thought it was great. What more woke insanity now lies ahead? That young females...

. An Ode to Letters We cannot be sure what the future will hold, But I doubt this prediction will fail. That no one will ever unearth in an attic An old treasure trove of email. . . Outvoted In my marriage I...

  This ode concerns a wealthy gent, To London Town, one day he went. He’d paid to see an Opera, But got more than he bargained for. For as he reached the City wall, He stopped to take a cell...

Selected by Beverly Stock ---From Liver Pills to stuff that kills, and makes it smooth to die, The last is not their mission, though, and yet within their power, But if you’re sick--go to them quick, or...

  Dear Edgar, __We’re sorry our response has taken so much time, but it grieves and pains to tell you that you’ve missed our paradigm. __While past works were droll and erudite ---nay,...

. . The Rub   I’ve had a taste of wonder and I cannot give it back. I’ve seen each deep state blunder and the swamp’s heart dipped in black. I’ve witnessed this great country as it’s getting back...

. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer---A Sonnet Poor Rudolph was a reindeer with a nose resembling a bulb of bright red hue. The other reindeer laughed and said, “It glows like Santa’s after knocking back a...

. “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” ---Albert Einstein If I put forth a single vaccine questionAbout a jab that’s whipped up in a...

. . The Rape of Lady Liberty In Memoriam: November 3, 2020 by Patrick Henry Redivivus They did the awful deed within the dark--- Brute men with beastly hearts, as black as coal, And blinded minds, like...

based on a true story My wife’s in bed with lowered head and even lower mood. Her chin’s on her chest and she’s not impressed though at least she’s eating her food. Her smiles are...

. Stages of Arrested Development __The lads who once had wet their beds __Adventured off in brand-new Keds, Exploring every corner of creation. __Age twelve or so, they raced on sleds __Down icy streets and...

_ On Your Marx If humans ran a Human Race, __Karl Marx would not be in it. The human depth that he could trace __would leach out in a minute. For he is neither man nor beast __but half-life near demonic, A...

Poet Susan Jarvis Bryant challenges her fellow poets to adapt a favorite joke into a poem with meter and rhyme. Enjoy her examples and then post your own joke-turned-poem into the comments section...

2 November 2020 Two weeks and counting here I be In clutches of the CCP I don’t delight as I once did In birthday presents, cards, and quid, But my two darling angel-girls Served me with functionary...

  The turkey that we blithely ate Had little cause to celebrate The final Thursday in November. It's customary to dismember A hapless bird that's plucked and trussed To satisfy our boundless...

  Thanksgiving 1984 2020 Wear a mask until you eat and never touch your face. Muzzle up between each bite and when you’re saying grace. No more guests than four to eight at six full feet apart. To...