Humor

When I struggle for sleep, I dust off a classic and try counting sheep: Trouble is, my sheep show off, they leap like Olympians over their feeding trough – They soar through the air, blending into...

  Teaching the Inner Couplets of one Rumi Has left me truly desolate and gloomy. They say he’s great, this Sufi poet Rumi, But frankly, it is most astounding to me That anyone can read the...

  After college, in my job search I found A prestigious post in antiquities At the historic museum downtown (As a gift shop clerk, more accurately). In my second year, the docents told us A few...

  Says Simon Cowell (A Villanelle) “Which came first, the egg or fowl? This is what I’d like to know.” “Who cares?” says Simon Cowell. (Not so much “says” as speaks in growl) I...

  Once Flew and Flown No More Such heights I once had seen and gusts of winds that caught my caution Through clouds above a world I didn't know And pressed towards horizons, body wrought with all...

  Haiku "You are what you eat!" That's what all of the books say Then I guess I'm nuts!   Naturally You walk into the beauty shop to get help for your hair, the receptionist greets you at...

  “Vexed by a verb!” I often vent, undeniably discontent. Let my quirky quote be the key to promoting a patent plea for the status I’d reinvent: Pairing “I am” with “years” has...

Ballad: Our Crew of Two When we set forth, the breeze blew fair, The sun shone balmy, warm. Our sheets were fixed; sail filled with air, No warning of the storm. Our crew of two, so cheerfully, With...

My Goldfish Has an MFA Roundel for Gillian My goldfish has an MFA; I got official notice just today. Of course, she cheated all the way, but, still, my goldfish has her MFA. She thought about a...

  The gown and the date are set, caterers and florists I’ve met. The hall has been booked, no detail overlooked Wait...I don’t have a groom just yet!   There once was a very young...

The Speaker Unaccustomed to Such Oratory Feats The speaker - unaccustomed to such oratory feats - cleared his throat, a bit too loudly, while he fumbled through his sheets. The crowd sensed, early...

  Scrabble-ism One night I was hangin’ with Len, Eating and watching t.v. All the pizza rolls gone, I then Suggested Monopoly. “That game is all luck!” he then said, Voice revealing some...

  Kitty staring at the tipped fishbowl (whoever felled it left not a hair), With no one home, what was, do you think, The mysterious force that toppled it there? I will honestly say I do not...

  Obi-Wan Bin Laden RIP Let’s remember what God wants: Killing people’s never right, So Obi-Wan Bin Laden then Cannot be a Jedi knight. To make folks free you face them straight...

  Pacific Trash Vortex I don’t care about chemical sludges, I don’t care about plastic debris, the Pacific trash vortex is so far away, that it just doesn’t matter to me. So, the plastic is...

By Evan Mantyk I. I’m thinner than most cars you see, I do not guzzle as much gas, And if I ever want to flee, Between two cars I’ll eas’ly pass! What am I? II. I’m in the water but can’t...

  So Far, So Good One friend fears his father’s Alzheimer fate, another prepares herself for the end while her husband tries not to cry or state she can’t leave, but for her sake he...

  Hiding My Glee (Rondeau) Hiding my glee, lest my spouse see the merriment mulling in me. I’ll deftly deflect our next fight by delaying my lone delight that the winner’s my...

  Aleppo By Cid Wa'eeb El Sur We will drain it dry as hay. Peace shall neither night nor day hang upon its pent-house lid; it shall be a place forbid. Weary seven months times nine, shall it...

  A Bear in My Living Room While playing some computer games One day, I heard a noise out in The living room. I frowned, but paused And went to see. To my chagrin A bear was squatting on the...

Growing Up So lucky they used to say, and it was when it was rare. But now there’s way too much gray in the thinning crop of hair. And why must you now choose here of all the places to grow? Count...

There was a king who sought to enter Law, for as he noshed a cone of Rocky Road, the Emperor of Ice-Cream froze his jaws & caused the Queen to love pie á la mode. The Court’s legates cold...

A Rhyme Crime An old man once curtly said, "I wouldn't give a dime for poetry that has rhyme." A rhyme nut killed him dead. Now his widow mourns past times as she hears the rhyme nut's rhymes. "My...

  Paean to “ODE TO JOY”* I heard the “Ode to Joy” today, ten thousand times at least. I could not hold my heart at bay, engorging on a feast of melody, of majesty, of rhythmic...

My Mirror Grinned (Rondeau) My mirror grinned at my first grey. With rearing youth, it’s my first fray. Disturbed, with care I plucked that bane, next day to find one more, again! I cried and sighed...

  Gathering like large and lazy vultures they asked me, on my travels, where I’m from — my origins, religion and my culture the place from which I came, so forth, and on. But how to answer...

Will Power When God asked Solomon one day     What his heart did most desire, The man said if he had his way     Unmatched wisdom he’d acquire. Now some might...

  Ice I open my golden flowing fins,     I dance beneath the ice, I dip and twirl and pose and spin:     Tell me, don’t I look nice? Look at me! a...

Old age recycles the body An infant once pink turns blue Nature recalls with rapid speed To complete life’s circle anew Fuzzy hairs on baldy top Steps and thoughts are staid Alpha becomes Omega When...

Petals in the Winter Three petals on a lily like the snow were held aloft And though the wind through window whipped it so just one fell off Two petals on that lily blue lamented on the sill But through...

This dieting can be Hell With nary a late-night snack I wage a constant battle When the hunger pangs attack And should I dare venture out To the neighbourhood café The waitress takes my order And...

Related Content 'Trump' Presidential Prophecy Poem by Nostradamus Donald Trump (A Clerihew*) Donald “The Donald” Trump Surprisingly took to the political stump What is, perhaps, not as great a...

No one can hate you like a former spouse. It sounds like a country-western song, I know, but no one can mutter you’re such a louse as an ex-lover who swears, “What a souse, and if I tried to say a...

  So to Speak My teen-aged son talks not as I do; I cannot teach him, yet I try to. If I should use subjunctive mood, He indicates an attitude. Instruction in the active voice Is met with his...

To some the world revolves around them, And nothing else can matter. They’ll do anything to reach that end, Including endless idle chatter. They walk around like “Hey look at me.” And are only...

Go Forth, Graduates! To all you graduates, fare well! This world is yours today. Don’t follow the masses who sell Their minds or don cliché For meaning. The sky is crimson But not dark, the...

  If anything I could choose to be, certainly the pig I would choose; with an oink and a roll in the mud, of me, no man would accuse gloominess, misery, or grief. I would wake up in a bed of...

  1.  The Man There’s a little village up north,     yet untouched by modern strains, Where plain folk in stilted thatched huts,     lived midst fields...

Unripe Deceived are we by the state of the skin, when overly reliant on our eyes. Of greater concern is what lies within, under the surface we find the true prize. A gentle squeeze applied to test the...

Dear George, If only you were living at this hour, Day, week, month, year. These times are newly strange— Hilarious, but not. You had prime power To forge a nation, though within the range Of law. Good...