Satire

. Putin That’s, I’m sure, a vampire: Gnaws on bones, bloody-lipped. —A. S. Pushkin. “Vurdalak,” Songs of Western Slavs (Это, верно, кости гложет Красногубый...

. To All Great Eagles Up on High To all great eagles up on high I hope you hear my battle cry! I have some plans I know you’ll love While you are circling above. There is a retailer to maul That has a...

. Psalm 23: King David’s Version When I was just a hungry sheep __and I was lonely, lost and scared, You somehow found me, fed me, led me, __showed me just how much You cared. When in the valley with its...

. As Orwell Warned The Right now gets censored to silence, While schools and the media teach, That speech from the Right equals violence, And Left violence merely is speech. . . “When I Was Your...

. The Adventures of Verb At six, I had a dictionary Where I would meet a man named Verb, Superb and quite extraordinary, In every definition’s blurb, Right at the finish, did while doing, For example:...

. Runway Ready An Anorectic at a Playground . Scrawny, lean and teen Miss Annie sat upon her bony fanny, straddled ‘cross a teeter-totter, filling up on Fibre Water. From above, bungeed a spider, claimed...

. Distant Thoughts from Nearby I need to turn my dog-ears up __and harken to the quietude ____ignored for many years, __and contemplate my solitude, ____expressing through my tears Incautious songs that made...

. Lord, Give Me Serenity Lord, give me serenity To deal with lunatics, Especially the ones Who are found in politics. Help me to stay calm, And keep me honor bound, But take them to perdition Wherever they...

. All That’s Left Is Yours based on I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris The bride walked the aisle to her husband-to-be, __Who gently took hold of her hand. They started their vows, all to hear and to...

. Xanadu Revisited after "Kubla Khan" by Samuel Coleridge __In Washington aristocrats __ordain corruption happily: __here the Potomac River flows __past million dollar homes in rows, ____no common man you’ll...

. Half the Night a villanelle My stomach isn’t working right. Bubbles, gurgles, twinges and sighs Kept me up for half the night. I’ve got hives too, quite a sight— Neck, belly, all over my thighs. My...

. The Revised Guide to Selling Adult Beverages  Dismiss the woke approach to advertising--- It’s mad and bad and far from enterprising. Avoid loud, lipsticked lads in soapsud scenes In full and frothy...

. The Number 165: Emily Hyatt A Cautionary Tale . Now this is a story that all those should heed Who think the sole gustatory pitfall is greed. For hear now what happened to Emily Hyatt Whose pleasure by...

. Note to a Sloppy Homeowner in response to C.B. Anderson's “Know How to Mow” Increasing rates are musts for folks like you. “Annoyance tax.” I mowed your lawn last time. I chose the route and sent...

. Target Gets Targeted A leftist agenda endorsed,Down customers’ throats it was forced.They now find their business is blighted,You could say that they’ve been “Bud Lighted.” . . Newspapers Newspaper...

. Gaslighted Our friendship limped along for thirty years. I can’t say why. The scornful views you’d share Instilled resentment, anger, even tears. Your condescending words. Your cutting glare. “Why...

. Target If you’re too young to take a marriage vow, Stuck at an awkward age that won’t allow A dizzy dose of liquor-laden brew Or puffs of buzzy stuff… just one or two--- __Target beckons...

. Some Satirical Epigrams in hendecasyllabics (essentially trochaic pentameter with a dactyl for the second foot) . Complaint to a Complainer You complain all the time; about the weather, Other peoples’...

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. Matters of Class . Saying hello The modest o’s the most polite of letters; But is he facing up today or down? Each day he questions those he calls his betters In order so he knows to smile or frown. A...

. So Much for Legitimate Women's Sports Vladimir Gonzales, a young Italian athlete, With 28 inch biceps and a 68 inch chest, Entered competitions where he knew he wouldn't find Even a...

. The Devil Comes to Buckingham from Legends of Liberty: Volume 2 One day as Britons cheered their sovereign’s sight, The devil crawled into his servant’s brain. He entered through the ear as a termite And...

. Why Can’t I Marry My Pit Bull? Why can’t I marry my pit bull? He’d make an incredible spouse, In spite of the dog hair and doo-doo, He’d always be king in my house. He’d listen whenever I talked to...

. September 9th 1901… A September evening in old Paris town, The time when Parisians let their hair down. There’s laughing and dancing and folk getting drunk, And all of the ladies are looking like...

. Poet, What Dreamer Thou Art  "I feel more and more every day, that as my imagination strengthens, that I do not live in this world alone, but in a thousand worlds." ---John Keats I’m busy doing nothing,...

. The Shortfalls of Empirical Knowledge Sorry, Iowa. Each night is different from all previous And therefore not the same as those to come. The ways of Nature can be devious: They test experience and leave us...

. A Right Royal Coronation Anon the pomp and pageantry will beam From London as King Charles III is crowned. The Abbey-bound procession’s set to stream On gleaming tides of splendour to the sound Of jaunty...

. The Number 151: Teatime in Cheam A Cautionary Tale . Now this is a story of two little girls; The older had pigtails, the younger one curls. They lived in the wonderful village of Cheam And both were...

. Books Some say that books are obsolete, __Preferring new devices. But reading books is still a treat, __No gadget quite suffices. . . Tipping Etiquette The credit card machine implied that __I should...

. On Binge-Reading Sylvia Plath Verdammte mirror-bee-eyes stare at you As you describe in depth colossal pain. You say too much: your tormented achoo Your lack of faith, your overactive brain. I read your...

. The Sonogram Dodona housed the oracle of Zeus, And there the Greeks sought his prophetic aid (Whose force depended on how much they’d paid) In auguries divinely quite abstruse. Beneath his sacred oak they...

. The Window Seat “They don’t read poets till they’re dead.” That’s what my wise-guy father said. “They wait till they have gone away ‘fore caring what they had to say. Still if that’s what you...

. Sketches of Three Communistic Big Heads  . 1. Xi Jinping Who thinks this belly-flopping avarist is good except those marrying the flies that buzz and hiss while he rips up the world, gnashing it to...

. Bardic Bots Will Shakespeare has been rendered obsolete. Bill’s quillings are a patriarchal scandal. His iambs lack that fresh, progressive beat. Barred from Avon is his current handle. As lost as...

. Green... Greener... Greenest...   a doomsday pantoum Zoom with raving saviors to Net Zero. Bewail our frail and ailing habitat. Become a carbon-taxing pseudo-hero. Trade...

. Historical Negation A pen works wonders. Just ink in, scratch out. Rewrite what people learn about the past. Repeat false facts, promote a fabrication--- Voila! You’ve aced historical negation. You don’t...

. Senryu on Free Thought . I. As storied Kipling Is stricken from pupils’ tales I feel his burden . II. Arise Dame Roseanne From the inquisitor’s stake Comedy’s phoenix . III. Young Harry...

. Acceptance Relationships are courses in which You should not enroll, If changing other people is your Pre-existing goal. . . When One Overrides Twenty-Six It started in first grade as I recall. Our son...

. Cryogenic Freezing from the conclusion of A Gallery of Ethopaths Let’s end on a deathly note To grab my readers by the throat. When ethopathic nonsense reigns It keeps a populace in chains, And though...

. Three Denarii OBO For Sale: One ten-foot wooden cross. Good cedar, cypress with some pine. The owner selling at a loss. Used once, by Rome, to assist dying. Some minor nail holes need repair, The crossbeam...