Woman:

Why choose the red dress, dear?

Reply:

To me it’s really white,
To you it should be clear,
Mood sets a color right!

 

Boy:

Are you playing handball?

Reply:

No! In fact it’s football.
Since leaving our big eggs
We’re quadrupeds on two legs!

 

R.G. Kaimal is a write living in Bangalore, India.

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4 Responses

  1. Mark Stone

    R.G. Hello. I have three comments. First, I like the idea of a conversational exchange between a man and a woman in a poem. It reminds me of the song “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” Second, because of the space between “dear” and “clear,” the rhyme did not resonate with me that strongly. In a conversation poem, I would have a rhyme in each segment of the conversation. Third, if you have colorful language in a conversation between a male and a female, it might make some readers more comfortable if you identify the speakers as Wife and Husband, rather than Girl and Boy, for example. Here is what I have in mind:

    Wife:

    Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme A
    Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme A

    Husband:

    Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme B
    Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme B

    Of course, poems are not always intended to make the reader comfortable. It depends on your objective. Thank you for sharing your poems with us!

    Reply

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