Poetry by Allison Ellison of Chapman, Kansas The Society November 13, 2012 Poetry 1 Comment Chasing the Devil I’m losing sight of what I want. I’ve lost the things I need. Danger one step ahead of me, I can’t help but proceed. Why am I drawn to such a life that brings me to my knees? Where is the strength to stand up tall, Deny what I will seize? Now slumber is on my nightstand, alarm set off in mind Fast forward is trapped behind me, I can’t quite reach rewind. My ankle drags a ball and chain. My eyes daring to peek. WhileI’m flirting with my keeper my soul is growing weak. The devil creeping in my veins, ignoring every plea. He only wants to take my soul, and live his life through me. Embracing the Devil I wish I had never tasted what expands my growing mind now my hunger is ongoing, only knowledge satisfies. I wish I had never tempted at the lusting demons core I’d be happiest when sober never know that there is more. So contemplation has me stumped. Which is right and which is wrong? Should a person keep their morals? Never seek to play along? I saw ahead with blackened eyes what was soon to be my curse. Now I know these hidden secrets, but I wonder which is worse: Asking heaps of hopeless questions that will cease to be defined, All your queries left unanswered ones that never leave your mind, or to be given the answers for the questions you can’t speak, answers carrying reluctance ones that you would never seek? With any road there comes a fork. There’s just one that I’d undo Once I thought I wanted answers, now I wish I never knew. I can give into the hunger of this demon’s open mind, and exceed every being even the immortal kind, Or, I can sink in tradition never understand a thing, but stay content and normal accept the ending it will bring. I will tango with my monster. And take part in his parade. They say good things can never last, but they just won’t go away. I won’t stumble on my feelings, I refuse to speak my choice, but I hear the demon calling in my unfamiliar voice. A prisoner inside myself Held by knowledge I control I know too much to turn around I have signed away my soul. Leaving the Devil My own demon walks by looks me dead in the eye. His fingertips tickle my mind. Frozen pins down my back while he plots his attack. My thoughts start to go in rewind. My stomach is churning, my throat welcomes burning. His lure appears hard to defy. My limbs all but breaking, My earth busy quaking He begs me to give one last try. I’m hiding, he’s seeking. He promised no peeking. Temptation is testing the line. My cells reassemble, My movement a tremble He says, “you will always be mine.” My effort growing cold As he goes for the gold My courage decides to ignite I’m pulling myself back with a counter-attack. I’m armed, and I’m ready to fight. The war has since ended Demon apprehended He never expected to lose. He allowed me a choice, Not expecting my voice Screaming “you are not what I choose!” I am left with the pain of a ball and a chain but life I can now redefine. Satan owns me no more. I have settled the score. My soul is eternally mine. The Poet: I am a 19 year old full-time nursing student, employee, wife, and mother born and raised a Californian now living in Kansas to accommodate my husbands military career. As a young teenager I faced various self induced trials such as drug abuse and a pregnancy. My son’s life no doubt saved my own, and propelled me into a world of responsibility and adulthood I had not been prepared for. I took advantage of my circumstances and used them to better myself as a person, and also a mother. My experiences, both good and bad, have influenced my writing tremendously. These poems are among the entries for the Society of Classical Poets’ 2012 Poetry Competition. Views expressed by individual poets and writers on this website and by commenters do not represent the views of the entire Society. The comments section on regular posts is meant to be a place for civil and fruitful discussion. Pseudonyms are discouraged. The individual poet or writer featured in a post has the ability to remove any or all comments by emailing submissions@ classicalpoets.org with the details and under the subject title “Remove Comment.” Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Related One Response elena November 20, 2012 Wow, Allison, your poems are very deep and interesting! I read your story and was very touched, you are only a year older than me but you have a depth and maturity I haven’t seen in many other young people. Keep up the good work! Reply Leave a Reply to elena Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.