"Der Gelehrte mit seinem Schüler," circa 1700.‘So to Speak’ and Other Poetry by Jane Blanchard The Society June 17, 2016 Humor, Poetry 1 Comment So to Speak My teen-aged son talks not as I do; I cannot teach him, yet I try to. If I should use subjunctive mood, He indicates an attitude. Instruction in the active voice Is met with his more passive choice. When I distinguish “different from” From “different than,” he just plays dumb. As far as problem pronouns go, He claims that anyone would know. Too often he resorts to slang Instead of giving half a dang. Too seldom he reveals desire To place with care a modifier. Upon a whim, he pulls a shiv To fast split some infinitive. Still, over sup, I dare maintain That “forehead” rhymes with “horrid,” plain. My son looks up, takes me to task: “Who’s Longfellow?” my son does ask. “Why should I ever follow one Who once rhymed ‘girl’ and ‘curl’ for fun?” He then persists in saying “fore-head,” Insisting nothing else be more said. Hegemony There looms an even larger crisis Than Panama or Trump or ISIS: Crustaceans from America Have caused this latest brouhaha. Each male is said to have a pincher So big that it becomes the clincher In rituals with European She-lobsters during mating season. The offspring, though, researchers tell, May suffer from a thinner shell Than is ideal to thrive beyond The western regions of the pond. So what to do? Why, pass some laws Against Homari with such claws! SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) I never answer any call That shows ID unknown; Anonymous cannot persuade Myself to get the phone. Thus, any private number/name Must speak to my machine; When I see data incomplete, I always choose to screen. Jane Blanchard lives and writes in Georgia. Her chapbook Unloosed is available from Kelsay Books. Views expressed by individual poets and writers on this website and by commenters do not represent the views of the entire Society. The comments section on regular posts is meant to be a place for civil and fruitful discussion. Pseudonyms are discouraged. The individual poet or writer featured in a post has the ability to remove any or all comments by emailing submissions@ classicalpoets.org with the details and under the subject title “Remove Comment.” Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Related One Response Lu Shan June 18, 2016 So to speak: Hegemony is best countered with a kind smile and firm hand. That has always been my SOP. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.