I may as well be hired as his maid,
the way I’m made to clean his toilet seat.
Still worse, the only way I’m getting paid
is that by cleaning the commode I treat
myself to one as dry as that he pissed
upon when targeting the toilet bowl
with urinary fusillades that missed!
But wanting disinfecting alcohol,
I’m wiping dry the saturated seat
with the acidic fluid that resigned
me to redress his penchant to excrete
the stuff without regard for my behind.
If talk concerning urine seems unfit
then pity those who have to sit on it.


Frank De Canio was born and bred in New Jersey, and works in New York. 

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2 Responses

  1. Joseph S. Salemi

    A cute comic poem! My only problem is with lines 9, 10, and 11, where the diction and syntax become just a little too dense and complicated. If that section could be streamlined a bit, the poem’s flow would be smoother. The words “acidic fluid,” “resigned,” “redress,” and “penchant” are where things get tangled up.

    • Frank De Canio

      Thanks for the comments Joseph. I think you’re right. I’d just rather add that I will change the lines “that he pissed
      upon when targeting the toilet bowl” to
      “that he pissed
      on when he targeted the toilet bowl”

      ‘upon’ sounds a bit too precious? or awkward?, whatever the case may be.


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