"Dwarves Drinking Coffee" by Faustino Bocchi‘Perked Coffee’ and Other Poetry by Bob McGinness The Society January 22, 2018 Culture, Humor, Poetry 7 Comments Perked Coffee Things today are bad and getting worse, examples always seem to us abound: service for consumers seems perverse, and music does not have that vinyl sound. My garden pruners, they don’t last one season, and dealers’ auto service seems a scam, the prices for my phone plan beyond reason, and did I really need that angiogram. Beyond the checkout line, it is not true! There is one process never really worked, and better now, because it’s better new, in good old days the coffee, it was perked. You think that metal tube was ever clean? They always lost that glass top apparatus. They boiled that coffee ‘til it lost it’s sheen, and what about that clogged up basket lattice? And when you walked away and you forgot, it boiled and thickened down into a sludge, upon the stove that bubbling coffee pot, had turned into a dirt-brown coffee fudge. Unless you paid it much too much attention, and turned it down too early in the game. It wasn’t really coffee, should I mention, but just some tepid water without name. Reflect upon that previous generation. The good old days are not remembered true. We don’t need aromatic percolation, life’s better now – we have a better brew. Dishwasher Loading The dishwasher council convened in Chicago, to deal with the Issue, a national disgrace; brought to attention by Procter and Gamble who stumbled upon it in their database. The loading of silverware, dishes and plastics, is not in curriculums taught in our schools. A competence lost in just three generations: the placement of dishes according to rules. They’re throwing the silverware loose on the top rack, long handled spoons strewn in gross disarray. They’re nesting the bowls, one on top of the other, the cast iron fry pan inhibits the spray. Jamming pot handles – no water discharges, the seals on the door are beginning to leak, all the small items have dropped to the basin, including the fragments of broken Belleek. There’s tupperware melted all over the grating. The spinning arm doesn’t revolve any more. The element heater, all covered in melted plastic from some Toys-R-Us dinosaur. The council decided to study the problem, develop a trademark like “Dishwasher Mother,” to educate multitudes loading dishwashers, and sponsor a contest on next year’s Big Brother. Bob McGinness lives in Columbia, SC with his wife and two cats. More of his work can be found at www.wretchedrhymes.com NOTE: The Society considers this page, where your poetry resides, to be your residence as well, where you may invite family, friends, and others to visit. Feel free to treat this page as your home and remove anyone here who disrespects you. Simply send an email to email@example.com. Put “Remove Comment” in the subject line and list which comments you would like removed. The Society does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or comments and reserves the right to remove any comments to maintain the decorum of this website and the integrity of the Society. Please see our Comments Policy here. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 7 Responses J. Simon Harris January 22, 2018 These are both very funny. I especially like the coffee poem, because the humor of it kind of sneaks up on you. The subject is also perfect for the very regular meter and rhyme of the poem. Maybe I’m biased because I’m sitting here drinking coffee from a Keurig while I wait for my car to be inspected, but I came across your poem and it just brought a smile across my face. Reply Amy Foreman January 22, 2018 Fun poems, both of them! Reply Fr. Richard Libby January 22, 2018 These are nice, light offerings, and fun to read on a Monday morning! Reply Leonard Dabydeen January 22, 2018 Funny, amusing everyday-living poems with enjoyable rhyme schemes. Enjoy ‘Perked Coffee’ a lot. Reply Helen H. Gordon January 23, 2018 Very nice light verse. Thanks for sharing. Reply James A. Tweedie January 24, 2018 Amen to all of the above. Reply Bob McGinness January 26, 2018 Thanks for all the encouraging comments. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.