"The Annunciation" by Leonardo da Vinci‘Journey to a Smile’ by David Watt The Society August 9, 2018 Beauty, Culture, Poetry 8 Comments ‘Leonardo the Great’ was a painter sublime, Never rushing to brush while to-do-lists claimed time; As commissions part-done, lay about, gathered dust, His attention distracted (to patrons’ disgust). For he was a man prone to seeking precision, With theories to ponder, sfumato revision, Study of waterways, left-handed cross-hatches, Theatrics and pageants, new questions in batches. He didn’t seek fortune or crave publication, As knowledge alone was enough motivation; And having determined the limits of motion, He’d turn to invention, dissect for emotion. Resplendent in cloak of rose color, silk wrapping, He wandered the marshes in search of birds flapping; Recording the upbeats, the downbeats, concisely, Consigning to species their flight means precisely. Some say that his penchant for leaving unfinished Detracted from output, and somehow diminished The breadth of his canvas, extent of his vision – A life spent in judgement, slow reaching decision. But each new diversion, like swirls in a millpond, Let thoughts intermingle before flowing beyond; And layer by layer, through softness of scumble He led us to lightness of Lisa’s smile humble. David Watt is a writer from Canberra, the “Bush Capital” of Australia. He is Winner of the 2018 Friends of Falun Gong Poetry Competition. He has contributed regularly to Collections of Poetry and Prose by Robin Barratt. When not working for IP (Intellectual Property) Australia, he finds time to appreciate the intrinsic beauty of traditional rhyming poetry. NOTE: The Society considers this page, where your poetry resides, to be your residence as well, where you may invite family, friends, and others to visit. Feel free to treat this page as your home and remove anyone here who disrespects you. Simply send an email to email@example.com. Put “Remove Comment” in the subject line and list which comments you would like removed. The Society does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or comments and reserves the right to remove any comments to maintain the decorum of this website and the integrity of the Society. Please see our Comments Policy here. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 8 Responses David Paul Behrens August 9, 2018 Leonardo de Vinci, a Renaissance man above all others, far ahead of his time. I can hardly think of a better subject. Very nice poem. Reply DPB August 9, 2018 Make that da Vinci. Reply David Watt August 9, 2018 Thank you David. Leonardo was such an interesting character, skilled in so many areas that numerous poems could be written about his life and works. Reply E. V. August 9, 2018 Your lovely poem creates a portrait of a painter! Reply David Watt August 10, 2018 Thank you E.V., my aim was to create a picture of Leonardo the painter. I am glad this came through. Reply E.V. August 10, 2018 It did! Mark Stone August 9, 2018 David, Hello. 1. In L4, I think “patrons” should have an apostrophe after it. 2. In L7, I would put a “The” before “study” so that each line in the second stanza starts with an iamb. That type of parallelism appeals to my ear. 3. I think L7 has one too many syllables at the end. If you were to delete “cross” (i.e., that syllable), then L7 would scan the same as L8. 4. If you were to begin L12 with “He turned” instead of “He’d turn,” I think it would flow better. 5. L16 has seven hard vowels (I-E-E-I-E-E-I) and is a masterpiece of assonance (and just a lovely phrase). 6. To me, leaving out the article (a, an or the) in order to comply with the meter is not a preferred practice. One fix would be to change L19 to read: “The breadth of his canvas, the scope of his vision” 7. L23 and L24 are two more beautiful lines, and I love the scumble/humble rhyme. However, for me the inversion at the end (“smile humble”) is a big letdown. I just like poetry that reads the way people actually speak. 8. Overall, this is a gorgeous and fun poem. Reply David Watt August 11, 2018 Thanks Mark for your thorough review and helpful comments. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.