Woman:
Why choose the red dress, dear?
Reply:
To me it’s really white,
To you it should be clear,
Mood sets a color right!
Boy:
Are you playing handball?
Reply:
No! In fact it’s football.
Since leaving our big eggs
We’re quadrupeds on two legs!
R.G. Kaimal is a write living in Bangalore, India.
. Pythagoras, Man of Music Pythagoras was of mathematical mind. No matter where he went, he’d often find Relationships to...
Ode to My Plumber Bubble, bubble toilet trouble, Fix this problem on the double. Plugged up draining. Will not...
Brava Margaret. Your beautiful use of form and imagery shines through, as always. I love how you've combined the best…
Oh, Margaret! This is so beautiful and moving. I don't know why it reminds me of the hymn 'Brother, sister,…
Thank you, for reading it. That was the line that kicked off the poem in my head. I guess that's…
I greatly enjoyed reading this poem. Thank you so much for writing it. I especially liked the very beginning: She’s…
Lovely, Margaret. I like that this covers pretty much all realms of Our Lord's creation. Regarding the form, I especially…
Humorous indeed, and a very welcome way to start the day!
Many thanks!
That was fun to read!!!
R.G. Hello. I have three comments. First, I like the idea of a conversational exchange between a man and a woman in a poem. It reminds me of the song “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” Second, because of the space between “dear” and “clear,” the rhyme did not resonate with me that strongly. In a conversation poem, I would have a rhyme in each segment of the conversation. Third, if you have colorful language in a conversation between a male and a female, it might make some readers more comfortable if you identify the speakers as Wife and Husband, rather than Girl and Boy, for example. Here is what I have in mind:
Wife:
Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme A
Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme A
Husband:
Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme B
Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme B
Of course, poems are not always intended to make the reader comfortable. It depends on your objective. Thank you for sharing your poems with us!
Lovely, light poetry