Engraving of The Farnese Hercules (British Museum)‘Ode to the Lats’ by Connie Phillips The Society December 13, 2018 Humor, Poetry 18 Comments Oh Lat, dear Lat, where art thou at? Methinks thou seem a bit too flat… On Superman, and blokes like that, Your rippling mass is no doormat! With Arnold, Dwayne the Rock, and Hulk, The goal has been to build more bulk: No pain no gain—don’t sit and sulk, To suffer is to see results! Latissimus, Latissimus, You surely have our backs, and thus To stretch and strengthen is a must. No weight is e’er superfluous! Latissimi are where it’s at… Alas, my lats are none but fat! Connie Phillips is a former English teacher and editor living in Massachusetts. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. NOTE TO POETS: The Society considers this page, where your poetry resides, to be your residence as well, where you may invite family, friends, and others to visit. Feel free to treat this page as your home and remove anyone here who disrespects you. Simply send an email to email@example.com. Put “Remove Comment” in the subject line and list which comments you would like removed. The Society does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or comments and reserves the right to remove any comments to maintain the decorum of this website and the integrity of the Society. Please see our Comments Policy here. CODEC News:Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 18 Responses Joe Tessitore December 13, 2018 Very funny indeed, and now I’m off to the gym. Reply connie phillips December 13, 2018 Thanks, Joe! And glad it inspired you 🙂 Reply Amy Foreman December 13, 2018 This made me chuckle, Connie. Thanks for sharing with us! Reply connie phillips December 13, 2018 Thanks, Amy! Reply James A. Tweedie December 13, 2018 “My lat, where art thou at?” Alas, my Lat up and left and returned home to Riga. Thanks for starting my day off with a smile. Reply connie phillips December 13, 2018 haha! Glad you liked it 🙂 Reply connie phillips December 13, 2018 haha! Glad you liked it, James 🙂 Reply Steven Shaffer December 13, 2018 Nicely done! As a former personal trainer and body-builder wannabe, I can definitely relate! One suggestion: Wide-grip weighted pull-ups! 🙂 Reply connie phillips December 13, 2018 Thanks, Steven! Glad you liked it — and thanks for the tip 🙂 Reply C.B. Anderson December 13, 2018 Should I then now expect a poem from someone extolling ventral, rather than dorsal, parts of the human (especially the female) body? I certainly hope so: Expanded pecs That bend our necks. Reply connie phillips December 13, 2018 Sounds like you’re already on your way with that one, C.B. !! Reply connie phillips December 13, 2018 Thank you, Amy! Reply Mark Stone December 13, 2018 Connie, Hello. The word “lats” in the title and in the last line is clearly plural. This suggests to me that “Lat” in line 1 is singular. If “Lat” is singular, then should “seem” be “seems”? Apart from this pesky nitpicking, I think the poem is clever and well-written. Thank you for sharing it. Reply connie phillips December 15, 2018 Mark, thanks for your response—and no feedback is ever “pesky”! But here in line 2, i think “seem” works because it goes with the word before it, “thou,” which is just an old form of “you.” So basically it’s saying “you seem” … Anyway, glad you enjoyed it 🙂 Reply David Watt December 14, 2018 Connie, you have taken a weighty subject and written a clever piece of light humor. Reply connie phillips December 15, 2018 Thanks for the “punny” praise, David! Reply Leonard Dabydeen December 15, 2018 Read the poem twice. Humorous and nice. Tried to read it loud. Didn’t feel proud. Reply connie phillips December 15, 2018 Sweet!! Thank you, Leonard 🙂 Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.