"Bushrangers, Victoria, Australia, 1852" by William Strutt‘Shattered Prospects’ and Other Poetry by David Watt The Society January 3, 2019 Poetry 20 Comments Shattered Prospects Pursued by every shadow,He rode the winding wayTo where his love lay waiting:Trunk packed for ocean stay.An owl looked on in silence;A wombat backed away –It seemed, no-one had noticedThe saddle-bag’s low sway. He wore a conscience heavy;More weighty than the goldRemoved beneath the nosesOf troopers bullet-holed.But one thought kept him going,Both resolute and bold –A dream of life together,In love as they grew old. She saw his coat-tail flapping,Each vaporous breath rise forth,The bulging bars of bullionPurloined from further north.Then suddenly, from cover,A bullet followed course; Resulting in her lover’s Departure from his horse. She burnt their steamer ticketsUpon the fireplace grate Until they soon resembledHer lover’s ashen state.And now, when night comes calling,Her wistful eyes relateThe power of a gunshotTo shatter prospects great. Rainbow Threads The tree bent down her branchesTo touch the morning dewWhich blanketed the meadow;Enticed with silvered view; But distance still remainedDespite her downward sway,And soon the silver sheenDeparted with the day. The tree, with gentle sigh,Cast higher thoughts instead,Toward a passing cloudAbove her nodding head; But as she couldn’t stretch(And even if she could)Clouds remain elusive,As nature’s wonders should. Therefore, she whispered: “Cloud, A shower would sufficeAs fitting recompenseFor wishes thwarted twice.” To which a mist descended Through curtain of sun’s glow,Extending rainbow threadsFrom sky to earth below. David Watt is a writer from Canberra, the “Bush Capital” of Australia. He is Winner of the 2018 Friends of Falun Gong Poetry Competition. He has contributed regularly to Collections of Poetry and Prose by Robin Barratt. When not working for IP (Intellectual Property) Australia, he finds time to appreciate the intrinsic beauty of traditional rhyming poetry. NOTE: The Society considers this page, where your poetry resides, to be your residence as well, where you may invite family, friends, and others to visit. Feel free to treat this page as your home and remove anyone here who disrespects you. Simply send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Put “Remove Comment” in the subject line and list which comments you would like removed. The Society does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or comments and reserves the right to remove any comments to maintain the decorum of this website and the integrity of the Society. Please see our Comments Policy here. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 20 Responses David Paul Behrens January 3, 2019 Both of these poems are well written. I especially like the storytelling aspect of the first one. It reminds me of a Marty Robbins ballad. Well done. Reply David Watt January 4, 2019 Thank you David. I enjoy the ballad form and any comparison to Marty Robbins is much appreciated. Reply Amy Foreman January 3, 2019 Really enjoyed the “Shattered Prospects” ballad, David. The lines: “Resulting in her lover’s Departure from his horse” were particularly witty and delightful. Thanks for sharing these! Reply David Watt January 4, 2019 Thank you Amy. I’m glad you liked these more lighthearted lines in “Shattered prospects.” I believe that tragic subjects generally benefit from the injection of a little humor. Reply David Hollywood January 3, 2019 Dear David, I enjoyed each poem for different reasons, in so much as ‘Shattered Prospects’ captured a tensely focused and committed adventure in pursuit of dangerous love hat ended with me feeling sorrow for the anti-hero and his girl, whereas ‘Rainbow Threads’ seemed to capture a romantic embrace of a rustic embrace. Many thanks for both. Reply David Watt January 4, 2019 Thanks David for your kind comments. The piece I most enjoyed writing was “Shattered Prospects” because it is the more active of the two. Reply Jeff Nicholson January 3, 2019 Wonderful storytelling! When I can be so easily transported into and witness the scenes, it’s a job well done. I truly enjoy poems like these–thank you for sharing. Reply David Watt January 4, 2019 Thank you Jeff. I am heartened that you found the scenes effective in relating the story. Reply Martin Rizley January 4, 2019 Thank you for sharing these visually vivid, imaginative, and exquisitely crafted poems. What I found particularly artful in the first poem is the way you tell the story in a subtle manner largely through the use of concrete images– the rider feeling “pursued” by shadows, the trunk packed “for ocean stay,” the saddle bag hanging low, bulging with purloined gold bars taken from under the noses of “troopers bullet-holed.” The images tell all. I also liked your use of synechdoche in the second poem to create rich images– silver sheen, sun’s glow, rainbow threads. Reply David Watt January 4, 2019 Hello Martin, thanks for your kind words. I am especially pleased that you found the concrete images effective. Reply James Sale January 4, 2019 Well done David, fine poems. I do like narrative poems anyway, and these tell an interesting tale. My favourite lines are these two: “Until they soon resembled / Her lover’s ashen state.” Marvellous writing! Reply David Watt January 4, 2019 Hello James, I really appreciate your comments. My predilection, like yours, seems to be for a narrative style. Although, your works tend to encompasses a much broader scale. Reply David Watt January 4, 2019 Should be encompass in the singular. Reply James Sale January 5, 2019 Hi David, thanks for your response; it raises a very interesting question about form and the poet. I do think that we all have to experiment to find what forms go with the grain of our talents. Form in a way represents a way of thinking about the world; it’s like a fingerprint, very distinctive. I had a friend some years ago who could write really good sestinas, which I thought I’d find easy, as I do find it congenial writing sonnets and villanelles. However, when I came to try it I hit a brick wall: I shall almost certainly never be able to write a good sestina and should desist from trying, since it doesn’t suit the way I think or compose poetry. Terza rima, on the other hand, since I discovered its potential, I love – and of course it flows so easily in narration. So I am glad you like narrative and you’ve found an excellent vehicle for it: namely, the ballad form, where you have done a variant in your first/third lines by excising the fourth and final metrical stress, so creating a ‘fading’ away effect as the lines end on an unstressed syllable. Nice. Well done. Reply E. V. January 5, 2019 Both poems are skillfully written. I think Rainbow Threads is one of the most poetic themes I’ve read on SCP’s website. Please continue submitting! Reply David Watt January 5, 2019 Thanks for your kind comments E. V. Reply Monty January 5, 2019 ‘Shattered Prospects’ is to me a masterpiece, David: masterfully illustrative.. strong.. disciplined.. and cleverly woven in a way to make each and every line flow so effortlessly into the next. One commenter above referred to the terms ‘Terza Rima’ and ‘Sestina’; neither of which I’m familiar with . . but I find myself wondering if either term refers to your deliciously-imaginative feat of placing full-stops only at the end of the 1st and 4th lines of each stanza? For one such as myself who values discipline in poetry; the ‘full-stops’ thing was the icing on the scrumptious cake. Well baked . . Reply David Watt January 6, 2019 Hello Monty, I am so glad you appreciated “Shattered Prospects”, and in particular, the flow of the narrative. The interlocking tercet pattern of Terza rima, as referred to by James Sale, is a form I quite enjoy. James also referred to the sestina (39 line repeating line-end word) poem. I have yet to attempt a sestina. I decided on placement of full-stops at the end of lines 4 and eight of each stanza as a means to slow momentum as little as possible. The regular placement of full-stops also gave some uniformity to the structure. Thanks for your comments, and also for the interest you have shown in the poem’s structure. Reply Shari Jo LeKane January 7, 2019 Dear David Watt, I enjoy the lyrical ballad form that you have chosen to relay these beautiful rhyming poems. While ‘Shattered Prospects’ is reminiscent of the Horatian Ode – touched with irony, melancholy, and gentle humor – it is still folkloric in culture like a traditional ballad. ‘Rainbow Threads’ likens to Transcendentalism (New England, 1836: Thoreau and Emerson) in that divinity pervades all nature and humanity. According to Immanuel Kant, in order to understand the nature of reality, one must first examine and analyze the reasoning process that governs the nature of experience. Reply David watt January 8, 2019 Thank you Shari for your thoughtful response. I agree that divinity does indeed pervade all nature and humanity. Kant was right on the mark with this thought. “Rainbow Threads” follows in the tradition of Australian folklore – the bold outlaw defying authority, risking all for love and money. As I enjoy relating a story, the lyrical ballad is one of my favourite forms. Reply Leave a Reply to James Sale Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.