Of unknown age, the great oak tree,
initialed with past loves’ decree;
Now stands alone on village green,
a witness to life’s daily scene.

It was in spring, some years ago,
when verdant leaves began to grow;
Two lovers walking hand in hand,
delighting in their newfound land;
High summer’s glare, they had no care,
and secrets all, were theirs to share.

Now summer’s gone, and cold winds blow,
with frozen ground and falls of snow;
Out sledging on the village green,
a boy asks, “Dad what does it mean
to have initials carved on there?”
Dad says, “two people said they care.”

As years pass by the mighty tree
awaits its fate, its destiny;
Glorious in serenity.

 

Martin John King is a retiree living in Somerset, England.

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One Response

  1. C.B. Anderson

    Martin,

    I liked this poem, but I think you could have made it better by attending to a few details of diction and syntax.

    At the end of the second stanza (“High summer’s glare” etc. has no proper subject. The initial clause just hangs there, unconnected with anything else. Better might be something like:

    In summer’s glare they had no care
    But secrets that were theirs to share.

    “And secrets all” just doesn’t make much sense in normative English.

    The last line of the last stanza would scan better if it were rendered:

    In glorious serenity.

    Overall, I think that the poem could be rewritten entirely, to good effect.

    Reply

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