a satirical piece in Sapphic stanzas Every day they come in a flood: unwanted Big manila envelopes stuffed with verses. Mostly garbage—that’s what we sift and filter Looking for talent. Like safari guides with their long machetes Hacking through deep tangles of vegetation, We confront a welter of mangled metrics Most of it shapeless. Worst of all is content so dull and boring It could take the place of a soporific Powder stirred in opium-laced warm whiskey. What is the problem? Can’t you morons scan, or imagine subjects Wilder than your grandchildren’s latest mishaps, Or the bugs that threaten your new azaleas? Give us a break, please. Dammit, we’re allergic to substitutions; We’re enraged by imbecile hypermetrics; Most of all, we loathe all your tepid twaddle, Mindlessly tasteful. We want metrics hard as Homeric spear-shafts— Subjects shocking, sexy, and edged with violence. Give us poems sharp as a sword blade, honed in Scandalous rigor. Joseph S. Salemi has published five books of poetry, and his poems, translations and scholarly articles have appeared in over one hundred publications world-wide. He is the editor of the literary magazine Trinacria. He teaches in the Department of Humanities at New York University and in the Department of Classical Languages at Hunter College.