"Still life with turkey, green cabbage and sausages on tablecloth" by Carel Hardy‘Turkey Sausage’ by Donald Carlson The Society July 5, 2019 Culture, Humor, Poetry 9 Comments The sausage on my plate is rubbery and inoffensive A clever likeness made of turkey meat Not your tastiest breakfast fare yet not complete- Ly unsuitable for consumption by the hypertensive. My research on this topic hasn’t been extensive But age and blood pressure require a retreat From foods that I could once cavalierly eat Without inflicting damage that might prove expensive. Turkey sausage is the price of growing old— As years increase so does the need to compromise To dull our sharper joys with a dash of the bland. Instead of calling life’s bluff you tamely fold Startled into timidity by the bracing surmise That nothing’s worked out quite the way you’d planned. Don Carlson lives and works in North Central Texas, in the USA. His poems have appeared in Windhover, The Lost Country, The Pawn Review, Chronicles, and Poetry Dallas. In 2015, he collaborated on a volume of poetry with two friends and fellow poets, Timothy Donohue and Dennis Patrick Slattery. Their joint collection, Road Frame Window, was published by Mandorla Press. In addition, he recently published a collection of verse entitled Testimony: A Poetic Retelling of the Gospel According to John independently. Views expressed by individual poets and writers on this website and by commenters do not represent the views of the entire Society. The comments section on regular posts is meant to be a place for civil and fruitful discussion. Pseudonyms are discouraged. The individual poet or writer featured in a post has the ability to remove any or all comments by emailing submissions@ classicalpoets.org with the details and under the subject title “Remove Comment.” Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) 9 Responses Joan Erickson July 5, 2019 How about this poem… METHUSELAH Methuseluh ate what he found on his plate And never, as people do now, Did he note the amount of calorie count, He ate it because it was chow. He wasn’t disturbed as at dinner he ate, Devouring a roast or a pie, To think it was lacking in granular fat Or a couple of vitamins shy. He cheerfully chewed each species of food, Unmindful of troubles or fears Least his health might be hurt By some fancy dessert; And he lived over nine hundred years. UNKNOWN Reply Donald Carlson July 5, 2019 That may have been possible in the antediluvian world. Times have changed since the Great Flood! Besides, it’s highly possible that Methuselah never ate pork. Reply C.B. Anderson July 5, 2019 Donald, give me beef or pork, or give me death; or give me both and I’ll die happy. I’m glad you didn’t write about soybean products, for that would really have set me off. Reply Donald Carlson July 5, 2019 You have to draw the line somewhere! Reply Joseph S. Salemi July 5, 2019 Turkey sausage is bad enough. But the evil vermin we really have to watch out for are the vegan fanatics. These scum are committed to forcing the entire planet to give up all meat and other animal products. And they have a lot of power. Reply Joe Bloggs July 6, 2019 People have a choice and we don’t treat our animals well as they move through the reduction process. Reply Joseph S. Salemi July 6, 2019 If we have a choice, then I choose to eat red meat, veal cutlets, and pate de foie gras. Got that, pal? C.B. Anderson July 6, 2019 I have a solution to this conflict: From now on, everyone should eat vegans. I haven’t tried it yet, but we can be fairly sure that these animals were raised on a vegetable diet, just like beef and lamb. Let vegans be the new veal. Reply Donald Carlson July 11, 2019 Those vegans will have to pry my turkey sausage from my cold, dead hand! Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.