"Shipwreck in the Desert" by Carl Haag

‘Life’s Woes’ by Michael Maibach

The Society

October 22, 2019

Beauty, Culture, Poetry

6 Comments

6 Responses

1. 

   C.B. Anderson October 22, 2019

   Michael, I like the short lines — they have punch — but why so many bad rhymes? Surely you had time to perfect the execution of your idea, which was not a bad one. Just for the hell of it, take note of this, another dimeter poem with an even more exacting rhyme scheme:

   GOATS

   Profoundly lost,
   we sin in haste
   and do our best
   to breach your trust.

   Our paternos-
   ters, liquor-laced,
   are prayed in jest
   (to your disgust)

   with fingers crossed.
   Defiled, disgraced
   and self-obsessed,
   we are the dust

   that will exhaust
   your patience. Faced
   with flesh undressed,
   we do what must

   be done. Unbossed,
   we strain to taste
   what we can wrest
   and call it just.

   We bear the cost
   of lives laid waste,
   for we’ve been blest
   with boundless lust.

   So, Michael, with a bit more effort and determination, your pen contains within itself all the elements of a perfectly crafted poem.

   Reply
2. 

   Mark F. Stone October 23, 2019

   Michael,

   As you know, everyone encounters problems and troubles in their life. Your poem can provide encouragement and solace to people in these circumstances. For this reason, I think the poem has enduring value. I hope to write a poem of this nature one day. Thank you for sharing your poem.

   Mark

   Reply
3. 

   James Sale October 24, 2019

   Heartfelt, sincere and touching in its simplicity. Thank you Michael.

   Reply
4. 

   C.B. Anderson October 24, 2019

   My esteemed colleagues,

   Why is it that you cannot recognize a shitty poem when you read one? I shouldn’t have to spell everything out. Emotional upwellings do not good poems make. As formalists we should admire form, and not the desecration of form. Hier stehe ich; ich kann nicht anders.

   Reply
5. 

   James Sale October 25, 2019

   Dear CB, in answer to your question we have to keep in mind Shakespeare’s comment at all times: “Use every man after his desert and who should ‘scape whipping” Who of us, indeed? Every man and woman who offers a poem (excluding post-modernists etc) offers something from their heart, and you know, they need to be encouraged, not dismissed. As with the widow’s mite, we are all of us offering so little in real terms, but even so to have it rejected is sorely punishing. There is a wonderful story surrounding Dale Carnegie in the ’50s. Asked how he had been able to create more millionaire employees than any other company in the world (at that time), he replied that hiring employees was like digging for gold – in order to find an ounce of gold, you had to dig through tons of dirt; but if you focused on the dirt, you would never find the gold. Such is my approach, then, whenever I am asked to review or decide to look at a poem: I ask myself, Where is the gold in this? As for the hierarchy, we all do it, but we shouldn’t since it doesn’t help us write better. Michael Maibach has felt deeply, has had some profound life experiences, and is using form, which I like. He is an important contributor to these pages. In my review of your work I think I invoked George Herbert as a sort of presiding muse; we need different approaches for different poets and yet that does not mean inconsistency – at least, I hope it doesn’t. All the best.

   Reply
   • 

     C.B. Anderson October 25, 2019

     I hope, James, that you will not be henceforth known as the great compromiser. I think it is the critic’s duty dictum: to serve no master but the truth. To use a baseball umpire’s dictum: I call ’em like I see ’em. I don’t care how deeply a writer feels if said writer is unable to execute a decent poem in accordance with the (constitutive) rules of the game.

     Reply

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