Note: The Society of Classical Poets refers to the COVID-19 coronavirus as the CCP virus because the Chinese Communist Party’s coverup and mismanagement allowed the virus to spread throughout China and create a global pandemic. Thirteen Famous Poems (Updated for the Quarantine) by Rob Crisell Kilmer I think no eye has ever seen, A poem like this quarantine. E.B. Browning How do I glove thee? Let me count the ways. Poe It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom not-so-clean, That a virus there lived that you may know By the name of COVID-19. Dickinson Because I could not stop for death He kindly stopped for me – I told him that I had acquired My herd immunity. Angelou The caged bird sings with a fearful trill of life postponed, but not the bill. Shakespeare Fair is foul, and foul is fair: My 401k is barely there. Longfellow Listen my children and you shall hear Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere. Or maybe it’s better to tell you the caper Of how I discovered some toilet paper At a Safeway only three miles from here. Masefield I must go down to the mall again, to the lonely mall where I’ll buy Some sort of decent take-out food. This time, I’ll make it Thai. Pope To err is Wuhan; to forgive, divine. Eliot Let us go then, you and I, When the evening is spread out— DON’T TOUCH YOUR EYE! Marlowe Come live with me and be my love, And we will all the pleasures prove That yield the valleys, groves, and hills, So long as you can pay my bills. Coleridge Water, water, everywhere, But all the time we think: Who wants this water anyway With so much wine to drink? Burns Oh, my love is like a red, red rose That’s newly sprung in June. But my love says that she’ll murder me If this ain’t done real soon. The Roll of Pandemic Poetry by Jan Darling Distressed I searched the stores’ long shelves Past rows and rows of wilting leaves All paper gone (removed by elves Concealed within their ample sleeves)? “Each customer’s allowed but one” (Unless you can produce a gun). I trudged the aisles both left and right But nary did a roll espy Considering my roll-less plight No rolls below, no rolls on high. Then thousands saw I at a glance Before I woke from blissful trance. The shelves at back were groaning piled High with marinades and spice That kind of thing—too hot, not mild Without the roll may not be nice. I fled from there in panicked hurry Repelling thoughts of vicious curry. Other shoppers looked askance As I retreated full of fright Some, I thought, prepared to dance But then it turned into a fight. “That’s mine” screeched one and snatched a box “They’re rolls of wax you stupid pox.” Along the margin of that bay Those fishwives fought with tooth and claw They shrieked and pummelled in affray Until the loser hit the floor. I gazed and gazed but little thought That shopping could become so fraught. So oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood That scene will lure my inward eye To supermarket aisles bestrewed; And as my double scotch I pour My order turns up at my door. Haiku by Joe Tessitore I went to a show and I sat next to strangers a lifetime ago. Quarantine Nursery Rhymes by Connie Phillips Oh happy day—it’s finally spring! The flowers bloom, the birdies sing… We’re stuck at home, so thank Beijing, And practice social distancing! --- Netflix or YouTube, where to look? Your kids are home, you need a hook. They’ve heard it all, that gobbledygook… Do something novel—read a book! --- This virus from the CCP, Upending all society, Made toilet tissue ironically Our most valuable commodity. --- I ventured out to take a break, And thought that I should shop for steak… Instead, I went down to the lake With coffee and some carrot cake! Political Coronavirus Clerihews by Raymond C. Roy Steven Mnuchin, U.S. Treasury linchpin, Has suggested corporate wealth Trumps public health. Doctor Anthony Fauci, An NIH bossie, Is a trusted source In coronavirus discourse Donald Trump, the POTUS And national Asclepius, Favors limiting social interactions To financial transactions. Xi Jinping Continues hissing U.S. servicemen were the source And Wuhan’s Trojan horse. Charles Ellis Schumer Vigorously denies the rumor That he now prefers D.C. Over New York City. Nancy Pelosi Rides the high horsey As the majority chief Of the House coronavirus relief. Tedros Adhanom, A WHO (you ask?) phenom, Publically criticized the airlina When they banned flights to and from China.