The Back-to-Work Protesters Limerick

by Mark F. Stone

Our minders with power and pensions can rob
our hopes, while the Fourth Estate calls us a “mob.”
They would be less scornful
and also more mournful,
if they were the ones who were out of a job.

 

 

Snitch

by Susan Jarvis Bryant

I live amid a lockdown glitch,
I’m watching every curtain twitch;
__I feel the neighbors spying.
I’m working out who’s friend or foe,
I would break out, but should I go?
__What law am I defying?

I want to shop, I want to jog,
I want to barbecue a hog;
__I’m lonely and I’m pining.
I want to dance, play music loud
with more than three, but three’s a crowd,
__and neighbors might start whining.

So here I sit just sipping tea
(the pot’s for two, there’s only me)…
__Is that my neighbor coughing?
My ears prick up, I hear a sneeze,
I’ve goosey flesh, my senses freeze—
__they’ll put me in my coffin!

I lift the blind and what I find
has gone and blown all peace of mind;
__I’m sure they’ve not been tested!
They’re laughing in a packed backyard;
thank goodness I have been on guard—
__I’ll get those jerks arrested!

 

 

Zoom Etiquette

by Susan Jarvis Bryant

When attending a conference at home in your room
on the boon of that technical app they call Zoom,
to emerge in your undies and pitch from your bed
is a frightful faux pas that is simply ill-bred.
Never greet at a meeting in anything less
than a brushed and flossed smile and sartorial finesse.

Do not slouch on the couch, it’s unseemly and rude,
and don’t ever appear drinking beer in the nude.
Please relinquish all fancies to fidget or fart;
remain pert and alert and as sharp as a dart.
Any brash, cyber crassness is at your expense
if you make others wince with an online offense.

When you’re minding your manners and covering your ass,
you will slay the Zoom forum with polish and class!

First published in Light

 

 

What Day Is It?

April 12, 2020

by Raymond Gallucci

Monday differs not from Tuesday.
Wednesday, Thursday? Each bad news day.
Friday comes, but no one’s grateful.
Weekend once adored’s now hateful.

Calendar Coronavirus—
Nothing scheduled to inspire us.
Every day just like the other.
Keeping track? Why even bother?

Bad enough when days are blending
Into one another, sending
Message that the weeks will soon
Not distinguish May from June.

 

 


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31 Responses

  1. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    Mr. Stone, I love the limerick form. Your admirably crafted poem proves that a limerick can serve to get a serious point across. I often use humor in my poems to do just the same. Your poem is spot on and thoroughly appreciated by me.

    Reply
  2. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    Mr. Gallucci, how every day rolls into another ad infinitum. You have captured this thought and I relate to every verse of your astutely observed poem. I can’t wait until time belongs to the people again.

    Reply
  3. RG

    There once was a viral disease
    That started with folks overseas
    They went out in a group
    For a bowl of bat soup
    And came back with a cough and a sneeze

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      I’m with Sally, I love bat soup… in limerick form only! Great fun!

      Reply
  4. Mike Bryant

    Mark Stone… well-written and impactful, I appreciate the absolute tyranny highlighted by your words and the brilliant choice of the limerick to point out the absurdity of it all…
    Raymond Gallucci… your poem has me saying, “amen”… when will we be free again?
    Susan… I’m fresh out of superlatives for You… You already know that though…

    Reply
  5. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    The old adage, “Many a true word is spoken in jest” has never been more apt. Take a look at this comic (I say tragic) take on the advice of the “experts”. I feel keeping a very open, curious and rational mind is essential during this tough time:

    We finally have some clarity…
    The (un) official Coronavirus guidelines:

    1. You MUST NOT leave the house for any reason, but if you have a reason, you can leave the house.

    2. Masks are useless at protecting you against the virus, but you may have to wear one because it can save lives, but they may not work, but they may be mandatory, but maybe not.

    3. Shops are closed, except those shops that are open.

    4. You must not go to work but you can get another job and go to work.

    5. You should not go to the doctors or to the hospital unless you have to go there, unless you are too poorly to go there.

    6. This virus can kill people, but don’t be scared of it. It can only kill those people who are vulnerable or those people who are not vulnerable people. It’s possible to contain and control it, sometimes, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.

    7. Gloves won’t help, but they can still help so wear them sometimes or not.

    8. STAY HOME, but it’s important to go out.

    9. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarkets, but there are many things missing. Sometimes you won’t need loo rolls but you should buy some just in case you need some.

    10. The virus has no effect on children except those children it effects.

    11. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…

    12. Stay 2 metres away from tigers (see point 11).

    13. You will have many symptoms if you get the virus, but you can also get symptoms without getting the virus, get the virus without having any symptoms or be contagious without having symptoms, or be non contagious with symptoms…

    14. To help protect yourself you should eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand as it’s better not to go out shopping.

    15. It’s important to get fresh air but don’t go to parks but go for a walk. But don’t sit down, except if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant or if you’re not old or pregnant but need to sit down. If you do sit down don’t eat your picnic.

    16. Don’t visit old people but you have to take care of the old people and bring them food and medication.

    17. If you are sick, you can go out when you are better but anyone else in your household can’t go out when you are better unless they need to go out.

    18. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house. These deliveries are safe. But groceries you bring back to your house have to be decontaminated outside for 3 hours including Pizza…

    19. You can’t see your older mother or grandmother, but they can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.

    20. You are safe if you maintain the safe social distance when out but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.

    21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours … or four hours… six hours… I mean days, not hours… But it needs a damp environment. Or a cold environment that is warm and dry… in the air, as long as the air is not plastic.

    22. Schools are closed so you need to home educate your children, unless you can send them to school because you’re not at home. If you are at home you can home educate your children using various portals and virtual class rooms, unless you have poor internet, or more than one child and only one computer, or you are working from home. Baking cakes can be considered maths, science or art. If you are home educating you can include household chores to be education. If you are home educating you can start drinking at 10am.

    23. If you are not home educating children you can also start drinking at 10am.

    24. The number of corona related deaths will be announced daily but we don’t know how many people are infected as they are only testing those who are almost dead to find out if that’s what they will die of… the people who die of corona who aren’t counted won’t be counted.

    25. You should stay in locked down until the virus stops infecting people but it will only stop infecting people if we all get infected so it’s important we get infected and some don’t get infected.

    26. You can join your neighbours for a street party and turn your music up for an outside disco and your neighbours won’t call the police. People in another street are allowed to call the police about your music.

    27. No business will go down due to Coronavirus except those businesses that will go down due to Coronavirus.

    Reply
    • Joseph S. Salemi

      Exactly, Susan. Nothing but doubletalk from people who have a vested political interest in keeping the mass hysteria alive.

      Reply
      • Susan Jarvis Bryant

        You’re spot on, Mr. Salemi, and it’s getting worse by the day. Hopefully more and more people are waking up to it.

  6. Sukarma Rani Thareja

    Dear Editor
    Namskar
    I am listing my recently written poem for your kind consideration to be considered for symposium”Poems on Life During CCP Virus (COVID-19) Lockdown”society of classical poets
    kindest Regards
    sukarma Rani Thareja
    India

    Nature Message-CORONA-COVID-19

    There is no limit on materialistic rate of growth of human comfort level,
    Human mind is being distracted due to highest ego level,
    Most of them are in grip of personality which is Split,
    Even for simple thing as diet the humans are exploiting nature,

    Wild animals never liked their life to be commercialised for diet,
    The painful voice of animals is lost in this chaotic human noise,
    They are begging for safety of their lives,
    For economy commercial gains and profits,
    Selfish humans are bent on bullying Nature.

    Bearing all big losses, silently was sitting mother nature,
    Time has come to teach humans a big lesson, thought nature,
    Trap of corona –COVID- 19 weaved brilliant nature,
    That evolved death pits for humans selfish in nature,
    Soon wise humans realised that they are ,
    Dependent sub set of Mother nature,
    They started begging for humans lives from nature.

    Please don’t make and implement foolish ideas- brother humans,
    As nature has no time and never respect for such unworthy proposals,
    Nature is ready to help humans to her highest set limits,
    But humans have to forgo their greedy nature,
    And live in harmony with greenery and other creatures.

    After punishing, Mother Nature is still kind and forgiving,
    By awesome kind favours, she is still blessing thankless humans,
    Please humans, live in harmony and follow the truthful way of nature,
    Otherwise time to time nature as force will be shown in form- corona monster,
    Please cooperate, and feel proud in thanking countless blessings of mother nature,
    Save human civilisation for coming generations.

    Sukarma Rani Thareja
    Senior Associate professor(chemistry)
    Alumnus IIT-K-1986
    Kanpur,UP,INDIA
    https://sites.google.com/site/drsukarmaranithareja/home

    Reply
  7. The Society

    A coronavirus limerick contest worth noting:

    https://onthepremises.submittable.com/submit/165115/otp-mini-contest-45-limerick-for-2020

    To quote:

    Premise: Life isn’t much fun right now, anywhere in the world. The pandemic has touched everybody to some degree. Wrap up how you feel about life today–the good, the bad, the ugly, the inspiring, the awful, the funny, the not funny–and because this is a contest challenge, send it to us in the form of a limerick. The limerick doesn’t have to be funny, but it does have to evoke thoughts and feelings in us like everything else we ask of you.

    For those of you who want to take political themes, please remember our audience is literally world-wide, though it definitely leans Western. Still, jokes requiring a deep understanding of the Hong Kong anti-China protests or some of the subtler points of Brexit might not translate for all of our thousands of readers, so aim for a broad audience.

    May 23rd deadline.

    Reply

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