1. Poetry or prose? No one knows. 2. Shan’t waffle, 'tis awful. 3. Shan’t coddle, 'tis twaddle. 4. I can't say it faster: it's an utter disaster. 5. By smidgen or headful it's really quite dreadful. 6. Said firstly or lastly, it's slapdash and ghastly. 7. It's florid and horrid. 8. Not melodious; simply odious. 9. It can't be forgotten; it's rotten. 10. About as much charm as a cattle farm. 11. At present it's unpleasant. 12. You either sinned or broke wind. 13. Not wonderful; it’s blunderful. 14. So cliché-ridden it ought to be forbidden. 15. The God-awful truth? Like pulling a tooth. 16. Verse will be neater when minding the meter. 17. Edgar's raven sitting sullen pondering from the chamber door sadly squawks, and I quoth: "’Tis blather, nothing more." 18. Call the muses, and hail the graces to hear the free verse saga of this lady’s shoe laces. 19. This poem's about as narrow as William Carlos Williams's wheelbarrow. 20. Too much stray natter; not enough gray matter. 21. Your near rhyminal Is almost criminal. 22. Crammed full of pulled wool and one scoop of bull poop. 23. You've learned the first rule of art: the idea is the easy part. 24. I can't get past one niggling distraction: "you're," not "your," is the "you are" contraction. 25. May I say with some latitude: you have the right attitude. Geoffrey Smagacz writes from South Carolina and Mexico. A collection of his fiction, published under the title of A Waste of Shame and Other Sad Tales of the Appalachian Foothills (Wiseblood Books, 2013), won the 2014 Independent Publisher gold medal for Best Mid-Atlantic Regional Fiction. His rhymed and metered poetry has also been published in various literary magazines and e-zines, including 14 by 14 and Dappled Things.