Former Vice President Joe Biden and Sen. Kamala HarrisA Satire on Joe Biden Picking Kamala Harris, by Susan Jarvis Bryant The Society August 16, 2020 Culture, Humor, Poetry 24 Comments Madcapfesto We’ll unlock prison gates and let the inmates saunter out. We’ll tear down wall and rule; we’ll sponsor every lug and lout. We’ll overlook drug smuggling and the trafficking of sex. We’ll hike up workers’ taxes to increase the welfare checks. Equality. Equality. We’re proud to make that claim, unless born white then you’re a blight, your skin shall bear the blame for history’s atrocities and every past mistake; we have a way for you to pay—what you won’t give, we’ll take. For those who think our ideas stink, we’ll silence all debate. The views we hear that don’t adhere to ours, we’ll label hate. All dog-face pony soldiers who refuse to take a knee, we’ll beat them down in peaceful towns—we frown on anarchy. So vote for Joe of roving nose and rising blonde leg hairs; his hands-on charms and bear-hug arms are proof this codger cares. And even though he’s slacking, and he’s lacking any sense, he’ll flay the hide of Orange Man and dent the pride of Pence. And now he has Ms. Harris (the supporter of “Me Too”) who’s quick to ditch Joe’s victims now she’s got a job to do. She’s sidekick to her hero and quite right to cast aside the women she believed—she’s now relieved to hear they lied. These social justice deities are looking out for you. They’re so darn great they’ll turn each state from red to deepest blue. So dump that oafish chump, Don Trump, and vote for them instead— This supreme team (November’s dream) is set to raise the dead. Cadaverous lives matter when crushing opposition. The Biden-Harris ticket gives the stiffest competition! Susan Jarvis Bryant is a church secretary and poet whose homeland is Kent, England. She is now an American citizen living on the coastal plains of Texas. Susan has poetry published in the UK webzine, Lighten Up On Line, The Daily Mail, and Openings (anthologies of poems by Open University Poets). NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Trending now: 24 Responses Joseph S. Salemi August 16, 2020 Biden and the Bitch. That’s what these two should use as their campaign hashtag. Reply Mike Bryant August 16, 2020 Or… The Joe and the Ho Ticket… LOL Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant August 16, 2020 After these two humorous comments, I’m thinking of changing the title. Reply James Sale August 16, 2020 As a fellow Englander, I thoroughly enjoyed this – aside from your politics which I agree with – the stanza that gave me most joy was: “And now he has Ms. Harris (the supporter of “Me Too”) / who’s quick to ditch Joe’s victims now she’s got a job to do./ She’s sidekick to her hero and quite right to cast aside / the women she believed—she’s now relieved to hear they lied.” Well expressed and well observed: how quickly the ‘sisterhood’ becomes of less relevance as real power beckons! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant August 16, 2020 Thank you very much for dropping by to read and comment, James. I’m thrilled you like the Ms. Harris stanza. I usually write poems pretty quickly and they usually flow quite well, but this stanza was unusually tough. I needed to get this serious point across and still keep the humour… your comment makes the extra effort well worth it. You are spot on on the ‘sisterhood’ observation. How sad! Reply James Sale August 17, 2020 Yes, Susan, very sad: to have principles is to be consistent with them, and so we clearly understand that Kamala Harris has none if something as fundamental as that is abandoned for expediency. But to repeat it’s an excellent stanza/poem – the internal rhyme is great (believed/relieved) and I like the sound patterns elsewhere too e.g. ‘quick/ditch’ which gives this poem a real fillip. Julian D. Woodruff August 16, 2020 Ridin’ into Washington, those two, won’t that be rich?–NOT!! Terrific as usual Susan–esp the interior rhymes and half rhymes. Denting Pence’s pride–what inventive venting! I wanted to sing this to JB’s Body/Battle Hymn of the (former?) Republic. Maybe you could come up with a chorus that would facilitate such a rendition. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant August 16, 2020 Thank you very much for your inspirational comments, Julian. I’m glad you like the poem and love the music idea… watch this space 😉 Reply Yael August 16, 2020 Nicely rhymed, and funny too. Thanks! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant August 17, 2020 Thank you very much, Yael. I’m thrilled it made you smile. How is the Enemy Within song coming on? Reply Jeff Kemper August 17, 2020 As usual, simply delightful! I am chilled by the guild that would rebuild America. I pray it will not happen. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant August 17, 2020 Thank you very much, Jeff, and I love; ‘I am chilled by the guild that would rebuild America’ – it’s a little poem in its own right. In fact, it sums up my long-winded effort in a nutshell. Lol. Great stuff! Reply C. Grant Hill August 17, 2020 I have been writing political poetry for ten years or so. Absolutely loved this poem. It slides along nicely without a hitch a lot better than what I usually write. BTW, I live in Thailand where English poems are hard to find. Thanks. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant August 17, 2020 Thank you very much for your encouraging comment. I’m most grateful to receive such feedback from someone who’s been writing political poetry for so long. I have only just started on the political subject matter and find that poetry serves as an effective medium to get a point across in a brief and impactful way. I am originally from England and have been learning about and glued to American politics for the last nine years – there is so much going on and we’re so close to losing our freedom, I cannot help but speak out while I still can. Do you write about world politics or the political affairs in Thailand? Thanks again for dropping by. Reply Cecil Hill August 17, 2020 Oh, most definitely I write about Thailand but never about Thai politics. I put together a collection of poems about the infamous nightlife her entitled Crooked Dreams. Nothing inappropriate but a lot of satire and mocking. Also, I have put together a book about the tropical heat And about Thailand as paradise. I began writing poetry in 2007 to prepare for a teaching job at a huge university near. Chengdu, China. I was to teach British American literature. No problem with the prose part nor the drama part but I knew nothing about poetry. Spent three months trying to get a handle on poetry before we moved. Wrote every kind of poem I could find. Some of the worst poetry ever written by a human, but I understood the concepts. Also got into the habit of writing lines of verse when I had a chance. Have not had anything published except in social media. I am retired so I keep a book handy to write down ideas for poems. Ever enjoyed anything more than reading and writing poetry. David Watt August 17, 2020 Susan, as usual you have written a seriously funny poem. Fittingly, the topic is equally serious. It’s hard to believe that defunding of police departments and taking the knee have become part of ‘the new normal’. These people must be doing someone’s Biddin’ . Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant August 17, 2020 David, thank you very much for your lovely comment. I most certainly agree with your astute observation – bowing to a Marxist organization and defunding the police force is sheer madness… unless there’s someone behind the curtain pulling a heinous stunt. Reply Norma August 17, 2020 Well said. Your point of view is remarkably graphic. Said with composure and charm. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant August 18, 2020 Thank you very much for your lovely comment, Norma. It’s much appreciated. Reply Norma Okun August 18, 2020 You are welcome Susan, sometimes the only way to say things is poetically. Susan Jarvis Bryant August 18, 2020 Norma, you have a very valid point. But, even poetry is under threat. If I decide to air my political views poetically, this is the only site that will publish me. I’m so grateful to SCP for their respect for freedom. Norma August 18, 2020 Hi Susan, This is why I am happy to read your poems. Happy like you are to hear you can express yourself poetically. C.B. Anderson August 18, 2020 Aside from Evan’s willingness to let non-PC verse pass through his portal, you should be especially grateful for a readership that is equally sympathetic toward worldviews that do not jibe with the leftist agenda. I know that you are, because you have expressed your gratitude expansively on many an occasion. Sometimes Brits make the best Americans. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant August 18, 2020 A big THANK YOU to Evan, my encouraging and inspirational readership, you, C.B., for your spot on comment. I’m happy and grateful to be an American. It’s my first presidential vote in November – I’m hoping I make a difference. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. 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Joseph S. Salemi August 16, 2020 Biden and the Bitch. That’s what these two should use as their campaign hashtag. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant August 16, 2020 After these two humorous comments, I’m thinking of changing the title. Reply
James Sale August 16, 2020 As a fellow Englander, I thoroughly enjoyed this – aside from your politics which I agree with – the stanza that gave me most joy was: “And now he has Ms. Harris (the supporter of “Me Too”) / who’s quick to ditch Joe’s victims now she’s got a job to do./ She’s sidekick to her hero and quite right to cast aside / the women she believed—she’s now relieved to hear they lied.” Well expressed and well observed: how quickly the ‘sisterhood’ becomes of less relevance as real power beckons! Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant August 16, 2020 Thank you very much for dropping by to read and comment, James. I’m thrilled you like the Ms. Harris stanza. I usually write poems pretty quickly and they usually flow quite well, but this stanza was unusually tough. I needed to get this serious point across and still keep the humour… your comment makes the extra effort well worth it. You are spot on on the ‘sisterhood’ observation. How sad! Reply
James Sale August 17, 2020 Yes, Susan, very sad: to have principles is to be consistent with them, and so we clearly understand that Kamala Harris has none if something as fundamental as that is abandoned for expediency. But to repeat it’s an excellent stanza/poem – the internal rhyme is great (believed/relieved) and I like the sound patterns elsewhere too e.g. ‘quick/ditch’ which gives this poem a real fillip.
Julian D. Woodruff August 16, 2020 Ridin’ into Washington, those two, won’t that be rich?–NOT!! Terrific as usual Susan–esp the interior rhymes and half rhymes. Denting Pence’s pride–what inventive venting! I wanted to sing this to JB’s Body/Battle Hymn of the (former?) Republic. Maybe you could come up with a chorus that would facilitate such a rendition. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant August 16, 2020 Thank you very much for your inspirational comments, Julian. I’m glad you like the poem and love the music idea… watch this space 😉 Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant August 17, 2020 Thank you very much, Yael. I’m thrilled it made you smile. How is the Enemy Within song coming on? Reply
Jeff Kemper August 17, 2020 As usual, simply delightful! I am chilled by the guild that would rebuild America. I pray it will not happen. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant August 17, 2020 Thank you very much, Jeff, and I love; ‘I am chilled by the guild that would rebuild America’ – it’s a little poem in its own right. In fact, it sums up my long-winded effort in a nutshell. Lol. Great stuff! Reply
C. Grant Hill August 17, 2020 I have been writing political poetry for ten years or so. Absolutely loved this poem. It slides along nicely without a hitch a lot better than what I usually write. BTW, I live in Thailand where English poems are hard to find. Thanks. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant August 17, 2020 Thank you very much for your encouraging comment. I’m most grateful to receive such feedback from someone who’s been writing political poetry for so long. I have only just started on the political subject matter and find that poetry serves as an effective medium to get a point across in a brief and impactful way. I am originally from England and have been learning about and glued to American politics for the last nine years – there is so much going on and we’re so close to losing our freedom, I cannot help but speak out while I still can. Do you write about world politics or the political affairs in Thailand? Thanks again for dropping by. Reply
Cecil Hill August 17, 2020 Oh, most definitely I write about Thailand but never about Thai politics. I put together a collection of poems about the infamous nightlife her entitled Crooked Dreams. Nothing inappropriate but a lot of satire and mocking. Also, I have put together a book about the tropical heat And about Thailand as paradise. I began writing poetry in 2007 to prepare for a teaching job at a huge university near. Chengdu, China. I was to teach British American literature. No problem with the prose part nor the drama part but I knew nothing about poetry. Spent three months trying to get a handle on poetry before we moved. Wrote every kind of poem I could find. Some of the worst poetry ever written by a human, but I understood the concepts. Also got into the habit of writing lines of verse when I had a chance. Have not had anything published except in social media. I am retired so I keep a book handy to write down ideas for poems. Ever enjoyed anything more than reading and writing poetry.
David Watt August 17, 2020 Susan, as usual you have written a seriously funny poem. Fittingly, the topic is equally serious. It’s hard to believe that defunding of police departments and taking the knee have become part of ‘the new normal’. These people must be doing someone’s Biddin’ . Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant August 17, 2020 David, thank you very much for your lovely comment. I most certainly agree with your astute observation – bowing to a Marxist organization and defunding the police force is sheer madness… unless there’s someone behind the curtain pulling a heinous stunt. Reply
Norma August 17, 2020 Well said. Your point of view is remarkably graphic. Said with composure and charm. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant August 18, 2020 Thank you very much for your lovely comment, Norma. It’s much appreciated. Reply
Norma Okun August 18, 2020 You are welcome Susan, sometimes the only way to say things is poetically.
Susan Jarvis Bryant August 18, 2020 Norma, you have a very valid point. But, even poetry is under threat. If I decide to air my political views poetically, this is the only site that will publish me. I’m so grateful to SCP for their respect for freedom.
Norma August 18, 2020 Hi Susan, This is why I am happy to read your poems. Happy like you are to hear you can express yourself poetically.
C.B. Anderson August 18, 2020 Aside from Evan’s willingness to let non-PC verse pass through his portal, you should be especially grateful for a readership that is equally sympathetic toward worldviews that do not jibe with the leftist agenda. I know that you are, because you have expressed your gratitude expansively on many an occasion. Sometimes Brits make the best Americans. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant August 18, 2020 A big THANK YOU to Evan, my encouraging and inspirational readership, you, C.B., for your spot on comment. I’m happy and grateful to be an American. It’s my first presidential vote in November – I’m hoping I make a difference. Reply