‘Uncle Joe and the Virtual Convention’ by Jeff Kemper The Society August 17, 2020 Culture, Deconstructing Communism, Humor, Poetry 13 Comments When the wokest of folk virtually convoke In a year of elections and riots and fear, Uncle Joe from the basement the Nanny will stoke. He’ll invoke Ms. Kamala as newscasts evoke, “She’s a centrist!” to mask a career racketeer When the wokest of folk virtually convoke. Will Kamala and Joe their true colors uncloak? No, they’ll veer from the maxes of taxes severe Should the Joe from the basement the Nanny invoke. Will AOC, Bern, and their Marxist-Baroque Pull the wool with their bull in a sphere with no cheer When the wokest of folk virtually convoke? When the Donald shall wing into swing-states to stoke A good sense of the nonsense that Dems commandeer, Uncle Joe from the basement the Nanny will stoke. The latest of statist, revisionist smoke Shall arise with the lies from a Marxist frontier As the wokest of folk virtually convoke And the Joe from the basement the Nanny will stoke. Jeff Kemper has been a biology teacher, biblical studies instructor, editor, and painting contractor. He lives with his wife, Sue, in York County, Pennsylvania. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Trending now: 13 Responses Leonard Dabydeen August 18, 2020 Donny Boy When the shit hits the fan, Oh Donny Boy You’ll stick your finger up your twitting ass, To stop the spray for a stronger decoy; Very quickly you’ll stifle in the morass. Up your finger with twister in your nose You’ll sit in the whore house on sofa chair; Waiting impatiently for Mitchie toes To walk in gobbling with sniff in the air. Oh what a night of this convention fraud; You’ll smell the stench like never so before But Mitchie will quickly dismiss so loud, Your cry like wimp, can’t take it anymore. At the crack of new dawn, Oh Donny Boy, Your behind will still be itching with your ploy. Reply Nicko August 18, 2020 A haiku: Poetry is art Invective, only drivel Even if it rhymes Reply Leonard Dabydeen August 18, 2020 Not even close to writing a HAIKU. Try to review some guidelines before …. A Quick Haiku Guide A traditional haiku should… 1. Be three lines. The first line should have five syllables, the second seven syllables, the third five syllables. Seventeen syllables total. But a good try. Counting syllables. 2. Contain a nature or seasonal reference: the crumbling leaves, the cold air, the smell of manure, the taste of fresh black berries, the cicadas’ buzzing. 3. Be in the present tense (swims rather than swam). 4. Be subtle and observational. 5. Contain some sort of twist in the third line: a shift in perspective or mood, a surprise, a new interpretation of the first or second line. 6. Not worry about rhyming, although it can be a bonus. Reply Onah Ejiofor August 20, 2020 My sentiments, exactly. Reply Onah Ejiofor August 20, 2020 I was writing in respect of Nicko’s piece, though. Cynthia Erlandson August 18, 2020 Lots of fun internal rhymes! I like the message, too. Reply Cynthia Erlandson August 19, 2020 I was writing my reply about “Uncle Joe and the Virtual Convention.” Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant August 18, 2020 Jeff, I love the villanelle form, and it’s evident you had a lot of fun writing this one. A tsunami of literary device and a spot on message – thank you for the smile. Reply Sam-I-Am August 18, 2020 Old senile women-groping, little girl fondling Joe Biden cannot put two coherent sentences together without the help of his “handlers”. President Trump does not have “handlers”. President Trump does not need “handlers”. President Trump can “handle” anything and anyone, especially the left-tard press, all by himself. Reply C.B. Anderson August 18, 2020 I liked the message, because it was an accurate depiction, but the meter is sketchy, and in a rhyme-rich form such as the villanelle, the incessant internal rhymes can seem a bit like overkill. Reply Jeff August 19, 2020 By “sketchy meter” are you referring to the word “virtually”? The established rhythm calls for sliding the accent to the third syllabol. Is that not allowed? I’m just wondering. Also, I chose the harsh “_oke” rhyming and thick internal rhyming to help express what I had expected to hear – the lies and “incessant” Democrat hatred of President Trump. Reply C.B. Anderson August 25, 2020 Jeff, I don’t know what “sliding” is, but it’s normal for the last syllables in such words to be promoted, because of their position between two unstressed syllables. Unfortunately, you can’t get rid of the stress that occurs on “vir-“. The same thing happens in lines 4 & 7 where “Kamala” appears. Her name is pronounced KAM-ah-lah, but I will allow such license with the name of so despicable a person. Finally, it was highly unusual to see a villanelle written in an anapestic meter, but, hey, there’s nothing wrong with experimentation. Mind your “P”s & “Q”s, and hold yourself to stricter standards than ever a poor excuse for a critic such as I would. Reply Jeff August 30, 2020 Thanks, C.B., for your comments. I began writing sloppy “poetry” in college and have never had any training. I learned by imitating. Since I’ve come to SCP I’ve learned a lot and treasure constructive criticism. I didn’t even know what a villanelle was until about two years ago. I’m just amazed that some of my stuff has been posted here. I was indeed experimenting in search of an abrupt and harsh effect. We all know that 2020 is a very politically nasty year as have been the past four. 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Leonard Dabydeen August 18, 2020 Donny Boy When the shit hits the fan, Oh Donny Boy You’ll stick your finger up your twitting ass, To stop the spray for a stronger decoy; Very quickly you’ll stifle in the morass. Up your finger with twister in your nose You’ll sit in the whore house on sofa chair; Waiting impatiently for Mitchie toes To walk in gobbling with sniff in the air. Oh what a night of this convention fraud; You’ll smell the stench like never so before But Mitchie will quickly dismiss so loud, Your cry like wimp, can’t take it anymore. At the crack of new dawn, Oh Donny Boy, Your behind will still be itching with your ploy. Reply
Leonard Dabydeen August 18, 2020 Not even close to writing a HAIKU. Try to review some guidelines before …. A Quick Haiku Guide A traditional haiku should… 1. Be three lines. The first line should have five syllables, the second seven syllables, the third five syllables. Seventeen syllables total. But a good try. Counting syllables. 2. Contain a nature or seasonal reference: the crumbling leaves, the cold air, the smell of manure, the taste of fresh black berries, the cicadas’ buzzing. 3. Be in the present tense (swims rather than swam). 4. Be subtle and observational. 5. Contain some sort of twist in the third line: a shift in perspective or mood, a surprise, a new interpretation of the first or second line. 6. Not worry about rhyming, although it can be a bonus. Reply
Cynthia Erlandson August 19, 2020 I was writing my reply about “Uncle Joe and the Virtual Convention.” Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant August 18, 2020 Jeff, I love the villanelle form, and it’s evident you had a lot of fun writing this one. A tsunami of literary device and a spot on message – thank you for the smile. Reply
Sam-I-Am August 18, 2020 Old senile women-groping, little girl fondling Joe Biden cannot put two coherent sentences together without the help of his “handlers”. President Trump does not have “handlers”. President Trump does not need “handlers”. President Trump can “handle” anything and anyone, especially the left-tard press, all by himself. Reply
C.B. Anderson August 18, 2020 I liked the message, because it was an accurate depiction, but the meter is sketchy, and in a rhyme-rich form such as the villanelle, the incessant internal rhymes can seem a bit like overkill. Reply
Jeff August 19, 2020 By “sketchy meter” are you referring to the word “virtually”? The established rhythm calls for sliding the accent to the third syllabol. Is that not allowed? I’m just wondering. Also, I chose the harsh “_oke” rhyming and thick internal rhyming to help express what I had expected to hear – the lies and “incessant” Democrat hatred of President Trump. Reply
C.B. Anderson August 25, 2020 Jeff, I don’t know what “sliding” is, but it’s normal for the last syllables in such words to be promoted, because of their position between two unstressed syllables. Unfortunately, you can’t get rid of the stress that occurs on “vir-“. The same thing happens in lines 4 & 7 where “Kamala” appears. Her name is pronounced KAM-ah-lah, but I will allow such license with the name of so despicable a person. Finally, it was highly unusual to see a villanelle written in an anapestic meter, but, hey, there’s nothing wrong with experimentation. Mind your “P”s & “Q”s, and hold yourself to stricter standards than ever a poor excuse for a critic such as I would. Reply
Jeff August 30, 2020 Thanks, C.B., for your comments. I began writing sloppy “poetry” in college and have never had any training. I learned by imitating. Since I’ve come to SCP I’ve learned a lot and treasure constructive criticism. I didn’t even know what a villanelle was until about two years ago. I’m just amazed that some of my stuff has been posted here. I was indeed experimenting in search of an abrupt and harsh effect. We all know that 2020 is a very politically nasty year as have been the past four.
