When the wokest of folk virtually convoke
In a year of elections and riots and fear,
Uncle Joe from the basement the Nanny will stoke.

He’ll invoke Ms. Kamala as newscasts evoke,
“She’s a centrist!” to mask a career racketeer
When the wokest of folk virtually convoke.

Will Kamala and Joe their true colors uncloak?
No, they’ll veer from the maxes of taxes severe
Should the Joe from the basement the Nanny invoke.

Will AOC, Bern, and their Marxist-Baroque
Pull the wool with their bull in a sphere with no cheer
When the wokest of folk virtually convoke?

When the Donald shall wing into swing-states to stoke
A good sense of the nonsense that Dems commandeer,
Uncle Joe from the basement the Nanny will stoke.

The latest of statist, revisionist smoke
Shall arise with the lies from a Marxist frontier
As the wokest of folk virtually convoke
And the Joe from the basement the Nanny will stoke.



Jeff Kemper has been a biology teacher, biblical studies instructor, editor, and painting contractor. He lives with his wife, Sue, in York County, Pennsylvania.

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13 Responses

  1. Leonard Dabydeen

    Donny Boy

    When the shit hits the fan, Oh Donny Boy
    You’ll stick your finger up your twitting ass,
    To stop the spray for a stronger decoy;
    Very quickly you’ll stifle in the morass.

    Up your finger with twister in your nose
    You’ll sit in the whore house on sofa chair;
    Waiting impatiently for Mitchie toes
    To walk in gobbling with sniff in the air.

    Oh what a night of this convention fraud;
    You’ll smell the stench like never so before
    But Mitchie will quickly dismiss so loud,
    Your cry like wimp, can’t take it anymore.

    At the crack of new dawn, Oh Donny Boy,
    Your behind will still be itching with your ploy.

    • Leonard Dabydeen

      Not even close to writing a HAIKU. Try to review some guidelines before ….

      A Quick Haiku Guide
      A traditional haiku should…

      1. Be three lines. The first line should have five syllables, the second seven syllables, the third five syllables. Seventeen syllables total.

      But a good try. Counting syllables.

      2. Contain a nature or seasonal reference: the crumbling leaves, the cold air, the smell of manure, the taste of fresh black berries, the cicadas’ buzzing.

      3. Be in the present tense (swims rather than swam).

      4. Be subtle and observational.

      5. Contain some sort of twist in the third line: a shift in perspective or mood, a surprise, a new interpretation of the first or second line.

      6. Not worry about rhyming, although it can be a bonus.

      • Onah Ejiofor

        I was writing in respect of Nicko’s piece, though.

    • Cynthia Erlandson

      I was writing my reply about “Uncle Joe and the Virtual Convention.”

  2. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    Jeff, I love the villanelle form, and it’s evident you had a lot of fun writing this one. A tsunami of literary device and a spot on message – thank you for the smile.

  3. Sam-I-Am

    Old senile women-groping, little girl fondling Joe Biden cannot put two coherent sentences together without the help of his “handlers”. President Trump does not have “handlers”. President Trump does not need “handlers”. President Trump can “handle” anything and anyone, especially the left-tard press, all by himself.

  4. C.B. Anderson

    I liked the message, because it was an accurate depiction, but the meter is sketchy, and in a rhyme-rich form such as the villanelle, the incessant internal rhymes can seem a bit like overkill.

  5. Jeff

    By “sketchy meter” are you referring to the word “virtually”? The established rhythm calls for sliding the accent to the third syllabol. Is that not allowed? I’m just wondering.
    Also, I chose the harsh “_oke” rhyming and thick internal rhyming to help express what I had expected to hear – the lies and “incessant” Democrat hatred of President Trump.

    • C.B. Anderson


      I don’t know what “sliding” is, but it’s normal for the last syllables in such words to be promoted, because of their position between two unstressed syllables. Unfortunately, you can’t get rid of the stress that occurs on “vir-“.

      The same thing happens in lines 4 & 7 where “Kamala” appears. Her name is pronounced KAM-ah-lah, but I will allow such license with the name of so despicable a person.

      Finally, it was highly unusual to see a villanelle written in an anapestic meter, but, hey, there’s nothing wrong with experimentation. Mind your “P”s & “Q”s, and hold yourself to stricter standards than ever a poor excuse for a critic such as I would.

      • Jeff

        Thanks, C.B., for your comments. I began writing sloppy “poetry” in college and have never had any training. I learned by imitating. Since I’ve come to SCP I’ve learned a lot and treasure constructive criticism. I didn’t even know what a villanelle was until about two years ago. I’m just amazed that some of my stuff has been posted here.

        I was indeed experimenting in search of an abrupt and harsh effect. We all know that 2020 is a very politically nasty year as have been the past four.

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