There’s lots of riots in the street
or so I’ve heard from someone’s tweet;
they’re pulling out all of the stops,
those young people who fight the cops;
I see the photos in the news,
the broken windows to peruse;
the videos by the headlines
show angry mobs with protest signs.

It’s been some years now, hating Trump—
the media’s enjoyed a bump;
all of the pundits calling for
some social justice, we adore;
it’s cool to be the Fourth Estate—
like in the days of Watergate;
these presidents that we despise
are really good for the franchise.

Now, first we set some cars aflame
and call the pigs a nasty name;
we’ve brought our very own tear gas
to castigate the middle class;
the hippies start off holding hands
and activists make their demands;
next thing you know, a brick is thrown
and soon downtown is a war zone.

Right now, racism is the cause,
especially cops and bad laws;
sometimes, it’s the environment
that triggers the whole mass dissent;
but, luckily, for everyone
we’ll soon be voting Joe Biden;
and then all street protesting stops
and news will say to love the cops.



Wortley Clutterbuck is the author of Wortley Clutterbuck’s Practical Guide to Deplorable Personages and the operetta Scuttlebutt. Recent work rejected by Granta, Paris Review, VQR and other established organs of the aristocracy. Ever since free verse originated with Parisian fops in the Belle Époque, it’s been the hereditary voice of entitled erudition. “Rhyming poetry evinces such low breeding.” Hey, intelligentsia, would you care to say as much about the hip-hop lyrics you also don’t publish? More scuttlebutt at

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3 Responses

  1. Margaret Coats

    SCP members and visitors who haven’t commented because this doggerel is so awful there’s nothing to say about it, Wortley would agree with you because he wrote it that way on purpose. Just listen to the hilarious recording where suitable meter is supplied by the music and drama of a talented street performer and satirist. More of the same at his website, where performances are enhanced by good vintage-style illustrations, created by a different artist.

    Wortley, your lowbred high art pulls the joke on us who wouldn’t write this kind of thing. Congratulations to the Society for acknowledging the value of this work!

  2. Joseph S. Salemi

    I think another reason nobody posted a comment is we simply couldn’t stand looking at the photo that stands at the head of this poem.

  3. Sally Cook

    Wortley –
    I am a versifying dame.
    I love your name, I love your game
    And lest you think me quite insane,
    I find Joe Biden just the same
    As all the others who are hiden’
    In the bushes, just like Biden.


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