Losing It He staggered round his living room in stunning disbelief As for the very umpteenth time, he’d gone and lost his teeth. He cried, “They’re in here somewhere, I must search and search” but then He couldn’t find his spectacles so he had to think again. He sat down on the sofa and he heaved a hearty sigh “I need assistance urgently, or maybe I will die. It’s cold and very dark outside and I am all alone” He tried to call his neighbour, but he couldn’t find his phone He thought he’d get a signal out by other means instead By fetching in some rotten logs he kept behind the shed. “I’ll light a fire and send up smoke that somebody must see,” But he couldn’t get outside because he’d gone and lost his keys And so he climbed up on the roof and on the ridge did park. The skylight slammed behind him as he sat there in the dark. He knew that he must cry for help, of that he had no choice, But when he opened up his mouth, he found he’d lost his voice. And that is where they found him as they pulled him from the ridge. The Fire Department found his keys whilst looking in the fridge. His phone was in the cookie jar, his glasses on his head, His dentures turned up later in a loaf of home-made bread. This tale is universal, as I think you will agree That everyone starts losing things, it’s part of life you see. So try to keep a steady grip, or folk will stand and stare And wonder if you’re due a spell in residential care. Masks It maybe today Or it may be tomorrow, We’ll strap on our masks And we’ll walk ‘round like Zorro, Avoiding the dangers From all of those strangers We’ll cry, “Hi Ho Silver Here comes the Lone Ranger,” And then we’ll give thanks We can start robbing banks. Our faces concealed With no features revealed, We’ll stuff all the swag In a brown, paper bag. The cop’s non-existence All keeping their distance. We’re searching for heroes, Those Robert De Niros, The guys who look cute In a Spiderman suit; It’s this man, it’s that man It’s Robin and Batman But if anyone asks, “Why the bright rainbow mask?” It’s for those who give all Standing ever so tall Always there to impress It’s our brave NHS. Murmurations They come from near and far away, Around the ending of the day To gather high above the town Just as the sun is dipping down. Filling up the dusky sky, They twist and twirl and multiply, Oblivious of those down there, With open mouths, who stand and stare. With arrows darting left and right, It truly is a splendid sight, An aerial display so sweet, The finest fireworks can’t compete. The hungry owl denied a chance, Among this swirling dervish dance, And falcons sit, a sorry sight, No supper here for them tonight. But all at once the sky is dark, As silence settles on the park. Their leader calls, and down they go, To bunk-up in the trees below. A splendid ending of the day, And so, I make my homeward way, To toil away beneath the stars, And scrape the guano from my car. Jeff Eardley lives in the heart of England near to the Peak District National Park and is a local musician playing guitar, mandolin and piano steeped in the music of America, including the likes of Ry Cooder, Paul Simon and particularly Hank Williams.