“Hunter, you’ve disgraced the name of ‘Biden.’
Your laptop’s in the hands of some porn cop!
I’ve told you, as a Biden you’ll be spied on—
Get thee behind me, spawn of dumb Corn Pop!”

“Dad, your words don’t pass the Biden smell test—
You’re rankled by my deeds?! Then I’ll be frank.
You taught me all I know—I learned from the best—
For all the stink and sleaze, I’ve you to thank!”

 

 

Susan Jarvis Bryant is a church secretary and poet whose homeland is Kent, England.  She is now an American citizen living on the coastal plains of Texas.  Susan has poetry published in the UK webzine, Lighten Up On Line, The Daily Mail, and Openings (anthologies of poems by Open University Poets).


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21 Responses

  1. Sally Cook

    Susan, don’t ever stop writing these biting, satiric political poems. They are helping all of us get through the most distressing adolescent time ever disgracing our beloved country.
    Donald rules !!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much for the endorsement, my fine friend. I’m thrilled to hear a word of encouragement. I promised myself that I wouldn’t write any more political poetry. But then, at the breakfast table this morning, Mike said, “Isn’t porn cop/Corn Pop” a great rhyme? The rest is history. I simply couldn’t resist.

      My apologies to those who prefer my non-political efforts. I’m hoping my creative bent will take a different turn after the election. 😉

      Reply
      • Joseph S. Salemi

        Susan, you’re a woman — but you’ve got more testosterone than the 82nd Airborne. Keep fighting!

      • Susan Jarvis Bryant

        Joe, after a particularly difficult morning at work – you have made my afternoon!!

      • Julian D. Woodruff

        Susan, that is my sentiment precisely.
        I worry that my vision’s grown too narrow.
        Some lines on art or love would do quite nicely,
        But they will have to wait until tomarrow.
        (By the way, don’t you think that spelling’s chique?
        I’m having it made standard by next week.)

      • Susan Jarvis Bryant

        Julian, I love your poem – it echoes my thoughts with aplomb, poetic panache, and, to top the lot, a stylish new word! What more could a fellow poet ask? Thank you!

  2. Yael

    Best story I’ve come across all day, I love it!
    The view angle of a fly on Biden’s wall is just too funny.
    Is that a real fly or one of those deep-fake flies that clever broadcasters like to project onto candidates in political offices during debate coverage?

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Yael, I’m thrilled this made you smile. Your observation on “deep-fake flies” is hilarious. I’m tempted to showcase this marvelous creation in an added verse. Thank you for my morning snigger!

      Reply
  3. Cindy Hill

    I can’t say the political sentiment resonates for me, but I do deeply appreciate that you are continuing the long-standing honorable tradition of biting political satire and commentary in the poetical form. Moreover reading this gave me food for thought today on two of my favorite subjects: The first being whether we can truly assess aesthetics of anything (writing, painting, theater) separate from the content its subject matter; and second, what is the value of poetry on current issues and events. I’ve personally never found a satisfactory resolution to either of these questions, and since reading this I’ve had both lines of thought running through my brain all day. Many thanks for providing fresh fodder to my consideration of these inquiries.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Cindy, thank you very much for your thought-provoking comment. In these harsh days of never-the twain-shall-meet, it’s heartening for me to see that even though the political sentiment may not resonate with you, that you appreciate satirical poetry. I really like your questions and would love to answer from my perspective.

      1. Can we “truly assess aesthetics of anything (writing, painting, theater) separate from the content its subject matter?”
      I believe we can. As far as poetry goes, the subject matter is only one minor factor in a far greater creative process. First and foremost, word choice is essential to the art. The meaning, aural aesthetics, and overall flow of language is crucial. Add to that literary device (alliteration, internal rhyme, metaphors etc.), and you’re on the way to a work of art. For me, form is also important. Choosing the right form for a satirical, lyrical, historical, emotional piece etc. showcases the topic. One of my favorite forms is the rondeau redouble for its repetitive quality. It’s wonderful for making a serious point in an artistic manner. I firmly believe that one does not have to like the subject matter to appreciate the work that has gone into a piece of art. I don’t like Whistler’s or Turner’s subjects, but I fully appreciate their wonder. I would never have a busy Van Gogh (reproduction, of course) on my wall, but I adore his technique. Also, many of Shakespeare’s plays have earned a place in my heart or become the subject of hilarity purely down to the good or bad acting and production of the play. This particular poem of mine was written in all of ten minutes and isn’t indicative of how seriously I take the art form, so I will admit to being a tad embarrassed at being so forthcoming with my views.

      2. “What is the value of poetry on current issues and events?”
      I think there is immense value in literature. For me, Orwell, Dickens, George Bernard Shaw and many others have showcased periods in history with their works, often changing laws (Dickens had everyone up in arms over workhouse conditions with his works), and Orwell’s “1984” enables people to see exactly how history is playing out today and may influence their vote. These are just two examples of how important literature is. I have often found the term “fiction” allows the author the freedom to reveal more than any censored newspaper article could… although, sadly, this may not be the case today.

      I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this exchange and invite you to read some of my other poetry (satirical and otherwise) to get a true depiction of my work and range. Thank you, Cindy!

      Reply
      • Joseph S. Salemi

        To Susan and Cindy —

        Skill in the CRAFT of poetry (that is, in its techniques and procedures and basic tools) is neutral, and can be acquired, mastered, and employed by anyone of any opinion. In this sense it is perfectly parallel with military expertise. Any combat veteran will tell you that he may have hated the enemy’s guts, but knew very well that the enemy was an excellent and highly trained soldier.

        Poetry can of course be used to comment on current events or topical subjects, and of course it can be very effective. The one drawback is the passage of time. As years and decades go by, the topical or occasional poem will lose its force as the original circumstances of its composition fade away. Do we really want to read a poem about the 1952 Eisenhower-Stevenson election campaign?

        I recently came across a poem about the defeat of William Jennings Bryan in the election of 1896. It wasn’t bad work, but what he hell… who really cares at this point? Topical poetry is always more vulnerable to oblivion simply because of its topicality.

        There are exceptions. Those are poems where the sheer ability of the poet and the force of his language keep the work alive and resonant through time. Chesterton’s amazing poem about Don Juan of Austria at Lepanto comes to mind.

      • Susan Jarvis Bryant

        Joe S., thank you very much for your interesting reply. I like the “military expertise” analogy. I’m hoping this drive to write topical political poetry wanes. I don’t want my works to go the way of William Jennings Bryan, and sadly, the talent of Chesterton has not blessed my meagre pieces with its linguistic wonder. Begone election! Roll on timeless ottave rime on truth, youth and beauty!!

  4. Jeff Eardley

    Susan, as an Englishman, I don’t quite understand this one, but I have a feeling that f I did, I would love it. You are without doubt a World class poet and I think it is about time for you to give up the day job and embark on a World tour. I love the comment from Joseph S re. the 82nd Airborne. “Band of Brothers” is my all time favourite TV series. Good luck with your election which we are viewing with great interest over here, and if my wife ever came up with a “Corn pop/ Porn cop” line, I would renew my wedding vows for the next 25 years.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Jeff, your latest comment has changed my life! I’ve handed in my notice, traded in my little car for a huge tour bus, and I’m hitting the road with all my poetic creations and a huge smile on my face! Watch out for me in your town… soon!

      Just a little heads up on Joe Biden. He’s fond of telling increasingly weird and stomach-churning stories. One involved children stroking his rising blonde leg hair in a swimming pool. Another involved him facing down a drug dealer/gang leader called “Corn Pop” (inspiration for my poem) while he was a lifeguard at his local pool. I had no idea swimming pools were such magnets for crime. I’m sure you must have read about the discovery of his son’s laptop with all the salacious material on it – including child porn. This family have been ripping off the American public by selling access to our government to China, Ukraine, Russia, and Kazakhstan. Trump’s opposition are trying to blame this on Russian interference, as usual. I’m hoping the American public aren’t going to buy that old chestnut a second time around.

      Thank you very much for the smile… a smile is a rare and valuable wonder during election time in the US. 🙂

      Reply
      • Jeff Eardley

        Susan, we don’t get the Biden stories on our pandemic choked news channels so thank you so much for filling me in on what is obviously more than meets the eye. Now I understand and now I love it. Thank you again.

  5. Sarban Bhattacharya

    Great! I am hopeful that Susan’s poems can persuade a few undecided voters to turn their back on the Bidens. Hunter has seriously tarnished the image of the Bidens, and, after all, like father like son!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Sarban, thank you very much for your comment. I feel that a poem, especially a humorous one, often hits home with a point more effectively than a newspaper article… especially with all the lies and corruption going on these days. And, if it doesn’t, it may bring a knowing smile to at least half of the American population.

      Reply
      • Sarban Bhattacharya

        Yes, that’s true indeed. Even the ‘blue’ flagbearers can’t help smiling at the gentle humour you sprinkled throughout this poem. I loved particularly the playful satirical usage of ‘porn-cop’ and ‘corn-pop’, which the linguists might call a ‘metathesis’, an alteration of the order of the consonants, which you have used here to provoke mirth and chortle. Poetry is a powerful medium for communicating with people, especially at a time, as you said, when the mainstream media is partisan, and general people get continuously confused with the daily dose of indoctrination under the veneer of real news. I remember that unforgettably humorous speech President Trump made at
        the Al Smith Charity Dinner back in 2016, where he said, there are people who are trying hard and working overtime to get Hillary elected, and when the audience stared at him in curiosity, he pointed to them saying, ”They are there, the heads of ABC, CNN etc.”

        and Your political poems can

    • C.B. Anderson

      Unfortunately, Sarban, your hope might be dashed by two nearly unsurmountable obstacles: 1.) People generally believe what they want to believe, and 2.) The principle of cognitive dissonance prevents them from assimilating any new data that is at odds with their present world-view.

      Reply
  6. Paul A. Freeman

    For every Hunter, there’s an Eric and Don Junior,
    An Ivanka and a Tiffany in the wings, all much loonier
    Than the president-elect’s son, but some are so blind,
    No wrong in Trump’s dynastic spawn can they find.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Concerning Donald Trump’s “dynastic spawn”
      Your loony ditty makes me yearn to yawn.
      Who cares when there are favors sold to China
      The sexual violation of a minor
      Perversions of a whacko high on crack
      A laptop rife with crime – every kickback
      From dodgy deals on boards in the Ukraine
      And selling the US in Biden’s name?
      You traipse the tricky track of sticks and stones
      While I serve sin with spin ripped from its bones.
      And if you think wide open eyes are blind
      You’re the one who’s muddled in the mind.

      Reply

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