An Over-18 Riddle: ‘Let’s Do It!’ by Susan Jarvis Bryant The Society November 2, 2020 Culture, Humor, Poetry, Riddles 36 Comments Let’s Do It! The surgeon does it in a snip within a stitch of time. The comic does it with a quip, the actor with a line. Morticians do it clad in black with grave and stiff demeanor. The lawyer on the legal track while clutching his subpoena. The padre does it with a prayer and flourish of the cross; The pirate with a patchy stare, the model in lip gloss. The surfer does it with a wave, the pilot on cloud nine, The barber when he’s had a shave, the fullback at halftime. Sopranos do it in full throat, librarians are hushed, The flasher in an overcoat, the plumber feeling flushed. The chef with zest and extra spice, the counselor with care. The jogger does it in a trice in Lycra underwear, The ballerina on her toes, the archer with a quiver, The drunkard with a rosy nose, the coward with a shiver. The gardener does it with a dig, the con man in cahoots, The sailor with a hornpipe jig, the cowboy in his boots. The artist does it with panache, the florist wreathed in scent. The diver does it with a splash, the nun with good intent. The barman with a stir and shake, the gymnast with a roll, The altruist for Heaven’s sake, the pianist with soul. Magicians do it with a trick and something up their sleeve, Philatelists in just one lick and hypnotists with ease. The zombie does it in a trance, the optimist with glee, The diva with a song and dance, Mad Hatters after tea. The prankster does it with a wink, the gangster in a mask. Ventriloquists while sipping drink (they’re born to multitask.) The maestro does it in a beat, in bow tie and tailed coat. The buzz upon the busy street is—get out there and vote! First published in Expansive Poetry Online Susan Jarvis Bryant is a church secretary and poet whose homeland is Kent, England. She is now an American citizen living on the coastal plains of Texas. Susan has poetry published in the UK webzine, Lighten Up On Line, The Daily Mail, and Openings (anthologies of poems by Open University Poets). NOTE: The Society considers this page, where your poetry resides, to be your residence as well, where you may invite family, friends, and others to visit. Feel free to treat this page as your home and remove anyone here who disrespects you. Simply send an email to email@example.com. Put “Remove Comment” in the subject line and list which comments you would like removed. The Society does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or comments and reserves the right to remove any comments to maintain the decorum of this website and the integrity of the Society. Please see our Comments Policy here. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 36 Responses Gabriel November 2, 2020 Well done, Susan, I enjoyed this! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant November 2, 2020 Thank you, Gabriel. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I had such fun writing it. Reply Jeff Eardley November 2, 2020 Susan, this is absolutely lovely to read over and over. I once wrote a similar poem about dogs, Dalmations rarely spotted, Collies looking sheepish, that sort of thing. I hope the American public are stirred out of their armchairs by this and we are all eyes over here on the result, just as all our bars, restaurants, gyms, all close and any type of fun is verboten, for a month, maybe longer. Thanks again for cheering us up. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant November 2, 2020 I’m glad to have cheered you up, Jeff, and for some reason I find those rarely spotted Dalmatians hilarious. You must submit that one to Evan… we need more laughter on the site! For the UK, a lot depends on who gets elected according to whether you’re a Brexiteer or a Remainer… apparently. I sincerely hope my vote makes a difference and does Britain one helluva huge favour – they’re certainly desperately in need of one. Reply jd November 2, 2020 Another really good poem, Susan! Suspense built up to the last line after a litany of well-scanced and rhymed occupations. I hope you have published a book or two or three. You are so prolific too! jd Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant November 2, 2020 jd, thank you very much for your comment. I don’t have a book published, but you never know what the future may bring. I’m toying with the idea. Reply C.B. Anderson November 2, 2020 Though I don’t much care for rhymes that involve disparate nasal consonants (time/line), you made up for it with demeanor/subpoena. Yes, I liked this poem as I have liked so many that you have written. I can’t remember any that I didn’t like, in fact. If you want to publish a book, I heartily recommend that you look into White Violet Press. Karen Kelsay has published scores, if not hundreds, of superbly formatted volumes. If you want to see an example, then tell Evan to give you my e-mail address so that you can send me your snail-mail address, and I will send you copies of the two books of mine she published. Susan Jarvis Bryant November 2, 2020 C.B., I really appreciate your comment. I’ve had many people ask me if I’m published and, of late, I’ve been feeling the urge to do just that. I admire many poets on this site and their works and comments have been a true inspiration. I already have Steel Masks by Joe S., and I’ve just ordered Mortal Soup and Blue Yonder by another great poet. (It’s for Mike’s birthday on Thursday… shh, don’t tell him). Both books are published by White Violet Press, and I’ve just looked up their criteria for publication. I’m excited and enthused. Thank you for the push, C.B. It’s an honor to be on this site. Susan Jarvis Bryant November 5, 2020 CB, your book is beautiful and I thoroughly recommend “Mortal Soup and the Blue Yonder” to everyone. Though, having said that, Mike and I are only half way through… but, even if the second half were omitted, I’d still recommend it. I think I have a long way to go poetry-wise before I reach these heights. Sarban Bhattacharya November 2, 2020 Whatever be the profession of an individual, the message is very clear , to go out and vote ! There’s no need to pay attention towards the opinion polls, the only thing that matters is the ballot, and that’s most appreciated when cast in person! Nice poem, Susan! Everyone has his own forte in professional sphere, and that has been humorously presented here. Their skills are different, but the rights are same, of which the most important one is universal suffrage. I liked how you included people from various echelons of society, giving the poem an eclectic outlook. I believe, there is something Chaucerian in it; the humour and the host of characters reminded me of the prologue to Canterbury Tales. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant November 2, 2020 Sarban, thank you very much. I love your observations. You’re right, there is an eclectic mix of people with differing professions in my poem – that can only happen in a free country, and I’m hoping this upcoming election keeps America free. To think my poem has something Chaucerian in it makes me grin from ear to ear and takes me back to my Nonnes Preestes Tale, Chaunticleer school days. Wonderful! Reply Jeff Eardley November 2, 2020 Susan, forgot to remind you to check out “Trump investigates election voter fraud, Spitting Image” on YouTube. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant November 2, 2020 Will do, Jeff. It’s a little serious on the eve of election night here in the US. I need a laugh. I had no idea Spitting Image was still on British screens. Reply rohini sunderam November 2, 2020 Absolutely delightful! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant November 2, 2020 Thank you, Rohini! Reply Sally Cook November 2, 2020 Susan, you never fail ! Reply Joe Tessitore November 2, 2020 Amen! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant November 2, 2020 Joe, I hope my words have sent you and Mrs. Tessitore straight to the polling station – that’s if you’ve not voted already. 🙂 Susan Jarvis Bryant November 2, 2020 Thank you, dear Sally. You are an inspiration. Reply Joseph S.Salemi November 2, 2020 I think this riddle of Susan’s also has to do with sex, not just voting. I say this because in the 1980s there was a momentary fad for coming up with sentences that described, adverbially, how various groups and professions performed the sexual act. My friend Reinhold Aman brought out a short book titled “Do It!” containing scores of examples: Lawyers do it legally. Doctors do it medically. Clowns do it foolishly. Ministers do it spiritually. The internal rhymes in Susan’s poem are absolutely brilliant. And pulling that off for seven quatrains ain’t easy! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant November 2, 2020 Joe S., you are absolutely right, sex is lurking between the lines – how naughty of me! It was, however, inspired by Cole Porter not the 80s fad, which sounds huge fun. I’m sorry I missed out on that one – I lived a very sheltered life back in the UK… I’m making up for it now! Reply David Paul Behrens November 2, 2020 Outstanding on every level! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant November 2, 2020 Thank you very much, David. I’m smiling. Reply Yael November 2, 2020 Thank you for the timely and entertaining reminder Susan. I love it! Husband and I are going to vote tomorrow morning and due to the fact that I’m a mountain bike instructor, raft and kayak guide, bike mechanic, Wilderness First Responder, master gardener and tree farmer, and I want to be a Bluegrass fiddle player when I grow up, now I’m having a really hard time deciding how I’m going to do it: Should I do it with a paddle, or a chainsaw, or a bow? Should I bring a fit-bit or a rose hip or a med-kit? Should I wear a helmet, or a life-vest, or a boot with a steel toe? I think I know: I’ll do it with all my heart and soul. Let freedom ring! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant November 2, 2020 Yael, you are one amazing woman, and, had I known all of the strings you had to your professional bow, I’d have written a stanza dedicated to you! One oversight, you left poet out of the mix. You write beautifully and I’m certain this site would benefit from your talent… if you have time, that is… your dedication to Bluegrass should come first 😉 I’m voting in my first presidential election as an American citizen tomorrow. Let freedom ring to the rafters and beyond! Thank you for your wonderful comment. Reply Yael November 4, 2020 Susan, that’s super: congratulations on your first American presidential election vote! And what a doozy of an election this is shaping up to be. Methinks you couldn’t have joined the game at a more interesting time. I hope the candidate for whom you voted wins the election. Thank you for your compliments on my writing. I’m German, born and raised there, so English is not my native language, although I’ve been conversing in it for the better part of my life since becoming a citizen of the USA in the mid-nineteen-eighties. When I was a child, writing poems in German came natural for me, but this tendency did not transition well at all when I changed to speaking mostly English. Also, the urge to make music is much stronger now and bonds me to my husband who’s an amateur musician. I love reading English poetry though and memorizing song lyrics is the same as memorizing poetry. I’ve been really happy to be an appreciative audience member here on this fabulous website that’s teeming with so many great poets. If this were a concert I would just clap my hands and cheer for the performers, but since it’s a visual experience only, I’m utilizing the comments section to do the same. It’s just a coincidence that I enjoy using humor, rhyme, imagination and other literary devices in my verbal communications:) Susan Jarvis Bryant November 5, 2020 Yael, what an intriguing life story you have, and I love the fact that you’ve written poetry in German. It is obvious to me that you have a fascination for and love of words, in whatever language. I learned French and German at school and had a much better command of French than I did German… as a soft speaker, I found the guttural pronunciation difficult. I’m brushing up on my German (reeducating myself, to be precise) as my son has moved from England to Munich. I was meant to see him this Christmas… but… Covid… and you know the rest. It’s wonderful to have you here as a commenter, and I’m thrilled you appreciate the site. I’ve learned so much from the wise members here, and I’m still learning. Thank you for all your kind words and encouragement. Joseph S. Salemi November 4, 2020 To Susan Bryant — This is your first experience of an American general election, so I must tell you that this particular one is anomalous. For nearly two and a half centuries our Presidential elections have been pretty much honest and above board. There were two exceptions: that of of 1876, when Rutherford B. Hayes won by means of a secret deal with some southern electors to throw the election to him (even though he has clearly lost); and the election of 1960, when the unspeakable Joseph Kennedy made use of the Mafia and the notoriously corrupt Chicago machine to falsify votes and cheat Richard Nixon of his win in the state of Illinois. (By the way, this is why JFK was killed — his imbecile brother Bobby, as Attorney General, declared a war in 1961 against “organized crime,” and began indicting people left and right. The Mafia doesn’t tolerate such betrayal, so quite naturally they arranged for JFK to be shot dead.) Susan, you are now experiencing the third blatantly dishonest election in American history. If the Democrat party pulls off this outrageous stunt of stealing the election via fake “mail-in ballots,” America will be no better than any other banana republic. And a dementia-addled ward-heeler with a family of grafting and incestuous pedophiles will sit in the chair of George Washington. It’s unthinkable. But you have to think about it. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant November 5, 2020 Joe, thank you very much for this lesson in history, politics and skullduggery, past and present. I will admit to being thoroughly shocked and crestfallen with the current situation. But, why should I be having witnessed the rabid endeavors to remove a sitting president from the Whitehouse, and the continual propaganda that accompanied every criminal maneuver? Why should I be having witnessed exactly the same duplicity in my homeland? It’s because I still believe in truth and justice. I learned a very harsh lesson when Tony Blair was voted in as the UK Prime Minister in 1997 – and that was, when it comes to politics, truth and justice don’t apply. The big mistake I made was thinking the US was different. I looked to the US as hope and salvation for the rest of the world… the US represented what little freedom remained in the world. I haven’t lost all hope. The fight for freedom is still going on and I hope the Supreme Court go a long way to giving us our freedom back. But, and I have to prepare myself for this, if freedom is off the cards for the moment, at least the truth of what has been going on behind the swamp curtain has seeped out into the spotlight thanks to Donald Trump. I hope and pray there are enough decent politicians and citizens out there to continue the fight for our freedom. I will try in my own way. Mike will try in his, and I hope he does not get arrested 😉 I thank you and everyone on this wonderful site who has made me feel like the true American citizen I am. Reply Jeff Eardley November 6, 2020 Susan, from over here we are watching your interminable election unfolding and it looks like sleepy Joe will prevail. This may be as depressing for you as things are over here with no bonfire night, no remembrance at the Cenotaph and a month lockdown with no hope for a good Christmas. We are rapidly losing faith with all our politicians at the moment as we lose all contact with friends and family. However, I think it is the duty of poets to shine a light into these dark days as you have with this one and your many others. I have just ordered the biography of our treasured comic genius Victoria Wood which will get me through a few dark days and may inspire a bit of future mischief. From your fans over here, Best wishes to you, and I guess, a not so happy Mike. Susan Jarvis Bryant November 6, 2020 Jeff, thank you for your words of kindness. The world has most certainly gone insane. I think I’m in need of a smile from Victoria Wood’s biography. I am terribly sorry you’re missing out on the fireworks (although, there are plenty of metaphorical ones exploding worldwide) and Remembrance Sunday. It seems the “new normal” doesn’t include love of one’s country and respect for those who fought for it. There is a small glimmer of sunshine – poetry is always the side effect of any emotion I feel, so I’m busy creating. Jeff Eardley November 7, 2020 Susan, I forgot to mention that the bio of Victoria Wood is called “Let’s do it” which was her greatest song. I am sure you know it, but if not, I am sure it’s on YouTube. Reply Amritavalan November 15, 2020 Thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Reply Allegra Silberstein November 16, 2020 You delight me with your rhymes! Allegra Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant November 16, 2020 Thank you very much, Allegra! You’ve made my afternoon 🙂 Reply Sandi Christie March 17, 2021 I’m merrily browsing older threads and had to speak. “Morticians do it clad in black with grave and stiff demeanor.” Bravissimo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Most excellent!!!! 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