Romulus and George Washington‘B.C./D.C.’ and Other Humorous Poetry by C.B. Anderson The Society January 27, 2021 Culture, Humor, Poetry 17 Comments . B.C./D.C. Where history and myth converge Two famous founders do emerge, Of nations that excelled at war. (Coincidence? Or something more?) George Washington and Romulus Are equally eponymous, And they’re remembered nowadays In curious divergent ways: The latter founded seven hills; The former’s found on dollar bills. . . Poe Cuisine The flesh we wolf is certified organic, From steers that graze on tracts of native sod. Forgive us if our manners make you panic, As though we were a pestilence from God, But we’ve been raised in rural Colorado On offal. And, too, we tend to wink and nod, Our faces smeared with rotten avocado, At scavengers that feed with beak and talon. We’re wont to drink too much amontillado When we’ve been asked to dine with Edgar Allen. . . C.B. Anderson was the longtime gardener for the PBS television series, The Victory Garden. Hundreds of his poems have appeared in scores of print and electronic journals out of North America, Great Britain, Ireland, Austria, Australia and India. His collection, Mortal Soup and the Blue Yonder was published in 2013 by White Violet Press NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Trending now: 17 Responses Daniel Kemper January 27, 2021 For the love of God!! 🙂 This was clever and uproarious. Loved Poe cuisine. Reply C.B. Anderson January 27, 2021 If no one laughs, Daniel, can a poem really be considered humorous? I’m okay with Poe cuisine, but I’m no big fan of sherry — malt Scotch whisky is more my cup of tea. Reply Daniel Kemper January 28, 2021 Red Breast Single Pot Still Irish Whiskey has been my Covid-killer of late~ Mike Bryant January 28, 2021 https://www.caskers.com/redbreast-21-year-old-single-pot-still-irish-whiskey/?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Caskers%20-%20Shopping%20-%20Freshly%20New&utm_term=4575411483285765&utm_content=Ad%20group%20%231 You can have it engraved for only about 15 bucks!! That’s a steal. Susan Jarvis Bryant January 27, 2021 Astute, witty, imaginative, perfectly rhymed and entertaining… I’m sorry I can’t be a whole lot tougher on you, C.B.,… honesty always prevails! 😉 Reply C.B. Anderson January 27, 2021 Don’t apologize, Susan. Evan willing, someday soon I will try to insert in these pages a few sub-mediocre poems. Be ready! They will be perfectly rhymed, but as for everything else … knives out! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 27, 2021 I’m ready, willing, watching and waiting… brace yourself! C.B. Anderson January 28, 2021 To Mike, above. I’ve had Redbreast on more than one occasion, but never an edition that old. I’m afraid that I can’t afford the luxury. The Scot has always fought the Irish in me, and it was satisfying to see in the film Braveheart that the two ethnicities are natural allies. Nowadays I alternate starting “Happy Hour” with Wolfhound Irish whiskey and Carlyle blended Scotch, proceeding in the former case to a single grain Scotch whisky, and in either case to a sequence of single malt Scotch whiskies. Please note that in Scotland the word is “whisky,” whereas in Ireland (and America) it’s “whiskey.” The spelling of it, of course, is always secondary to the drinking of it. David Watt January 28, 2021 C.B., I wasn’t familiar with amontillado, and therefore I looked it up. I now know that its complexity results from the fusion of two different ageing processes. Here you entertain with a well chosen fusion of humor and rhyme. Reply C.B. Anderson January 28, 2021 I’m not a big fan of sherry, David. In fact, many an expression of good Scotch whisky has been ruined by too much ageing in ex-sherry casks. This, of course, is a matter of opinion. Reply C.B. Anderson February 3, 2021 And of course, David, this refers to a rather famous short story by Poe titled “The Cask of Amontillado”. Reply Joseph S. Salemi January 28, 2021 “B.C./D.C.” is exactly the kind of poem that Hilaire Belloc would have written if he had been an American. It’s linguistically tight, and witty! Reply C.B. Anderson January 28, 2021 I know how you feel about Belloc, Joseph, and so I’m flattered by the comparison. Reply Jeff Eardley January 28, 2021 A most enjoyable duet. “BC /DC” is about as perfect a poem as you can get, and a great name for a rock tribute band. “Poe Cuisine” has me reaching for his work that I consumed voraciously in the 70’s. Great stuff for dark times. Thank you. Reply C.B. Anderson January 28, 2021 Dark times indeed, Jeff. I always like to start a new year off with a bit of levity. I hope it helps. I know very little about rock tribute bands, but AC/DC sounds more plausible. Reply Julian D. Woodruff January 30, 2021 Sorry I’m a bit late to the table … uh, bar here, C.B. I’m in catch-up mode. The pun on “found” is clever indeed. The Roman reader probably would have preferred your concluding with the “latter,” their country’s namesake, but then they would also have preferred your lines in Latin. In line 6 of “Poe Cuisine” you permit yourself an extra syllable, which, given the strictness of meter everywhere else, stands out a bit. I guess you decided that dropping “And” in that line, or a similar approach, would violate the easy, natural flow of words? Anyway, both most enjoyable, even if your drink is Coke. C.B. Anderson February 3, 2021 You got me, Julian. I didn’t notice, and if I had I would have done something about it. Perhaps the slip is a result of my “crossing the bar” one too many times. 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Daniel Kemper January 27, 2021 For the love of God!! 🙂 This was clever and uproarious. Loved Poe cuisine. Reply
C.B. Anderson January 27, 2021 If no one laughs, Daniel, can a poem really be considered humorous? I’m okay with Poe cuisine, but I’m no big fan of sherry — malt Scotch whisky is more my cup of tea. Reply
Daniel Kemper January 28, 2021 Red Breast Single Pot Still Irish Whiskey has been my Covid-killer of late~
Mike Bryant January 28, 2021 https://www.caskers.com/redbreast-21-year-old-single-pot-still-irish-whiskey/?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Caskers%20-%20Shopping%20-%20Freshly%20New&utm_term=4575411483285765&utm_content=Ad%20group%20%231 You can have it engraved for only about 15 bucks!! That’s a steal.
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 27, 2021 Astute, witty, imaginative, perfectly rhymed and entertaining… I’m sorry I can’t be a whole lot tougher on you, C.B.,… honesty always prevails! 😉 Reply
C.B. Anderson January 27, 2021 Don’t apologize, Susan. Evan willing, someday soon I will try to insert in these pages a few sub-mediocre poems. Be ready! They will be perfectly rhymed, but as for everything else … knives out! Reply
C.B. Anderson January 28, 2021 To Mike, above. I’ve had Redbreast on more than one occasion, but never an edition that old. I’m afraid that I can’t afford the luxury. The Scot has always fought the Irish in me, and it was satisfying to see in the film Braveheart that the two ethnicities are natural allies. Nowadays I alternate starting “Happy Hour” with Wolfhound Irish whiskey and Carlyle blended Scotch, proceeding in the former case to a single grain Scotch whisky, and in either case to a sequence of single malt Scotch whiskies. Please note that in Scotland the word is “whisky,” whereas in Ireland (and America) it’s “whiskey.” The spelling of it, of course, is always secondary to the drinking of it.
David Watt January 28, 2021 C.B., I wasn’t familiar with amontillado, and therefore I looked it up. I now know that its complexity results from the fusion of two different ageing processes. Here you entertain with a well chosen fusion of humor and rhyme. Reply
C.B. Anderson January 28, 2021 I’m not a big fan of sherry, David. In fact, many an expression of good Scotch whisky has been ruined by too much ageing in ex-sherry casks. This, of course, is a matter of opinion. Reply
C.B. Anderson February 3, 2021 And of course, David, this refers to a rather famous short story by Poe titled “The Cask of Amontillado”. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi January 28, 2021 “B.C./D.C.” is exactly the kind of poem that Hilaire Belloc would have written if he had been an American. It’s linguistically tight, and witty! Reply
C.B. Anderson January 28, 2021 I know how you feel about Belloc, Joseph, and so I’m flattered by the comparison. Reply
Jeff Eardley January 28, 2021 A most enjoyable duet. “BC /DC” is about as perfect a poem as you can get, and a great name for a rock tribute band. “Poe Cuisine” has me reaching for his work that I consumed voraciously in the 70’s. Great stuff for dark times. Thank you. Reply
C.B. Anderson January 28, 2021 Dark times indeed, Jeff. I always like to start a new year off with a bit of levity. I hope it helps. I know very little about rock tribute bands, but AC/DC sounds more plausible. Reply
Julian D. Woodruff January 30, 2021 Sorry I’m a bit late to the table … uh, bar here, C.B. I’m in catch-up mode. The pun on “found” is clever indeed. The Roman reader probably would have preferred your concluding with the “latter,” their country’s namesake, but then they would also have preferred your lines in Latin. In line 6 of “Poe Cuisine” you permit yourself an extra syllable, which, given the strictness of meter everywhere else, stands out a bit. I guess you decided that dropping “And” in that line, or a similar approach, would violate the easy, natural flow of words? Anyway, both most enjoyable, even if your drink is Coke.
C.B. Anderson February 3, 2021 You got me, Julian. I didn’t notice, and if I had I would have done something about it. Perhaps the slip is a result of my “crossing the bar” one too many times.