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B.C./D.C.

Where history and myth converge
Two famous founders do emerge,
Of nations that excelled at war.
(Coincidence?  Or something more?)
George Washington and Romulus
Are equally eponymous,
And they’re remembered nowadays
In curious divergent ways:
The latter founded seven hills;
The former’s found on dollar bills.

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Poe Cuisine

The flesh we wolf is certified organic,
From steers that graze on tracts of native sod.
Forgive us if our manners make you panic,
As though we were a pestilence from God,
But we’ve been raised in rural Colorado
On offal.  And, too, we tend to wink and nod,
Our faces smeared with rotten avocado,
At scavengers that feed with beak and talon.
We’re wont to drink too much amontillado
When we’ve been asked to dine with Edgar Allen.

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C.B. Anderson was the longtime gardener for the PBS television series, The Victory Garden.  Hundreds of his poems have appeared in scores of print and electronic journals out of North America, Great Britain, Ireland, Austria, Australia and India.  His collection, Mortal Soup and the Blue Yonder was published in 2013 by White Violet Press


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17 Responses

  1. Daniel Kemper

    For the love of God!! 🙂 This was clever and uproarious. Loved Poe cuisine.

    Reply
  2. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    Astute, witty, imaginative, perfectly rhymed and entertaining… I’m sorry I can’t be a whole lot tougher on you, C.B.,… honesty always prevails! 😉

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      Don’t apologize, Susan. Evan willing, someday soon I will try to insert in these pages a few sub-mediocre poems. Be ready! They will be perfectly rhymed, but as for everything else … knives out!

      Reply
      • Susan Jarvis Bryant

        I’m ready, willing, watching and waiting… brace yourself!

      • C.B. Anderson

        To Mike, above. I’ve had Redbreast on more than one occasion, but never an edition that old. I’m afraid that I can’t afford the luxury. The Scot has always fought the Irish in me, and it was satisfying to see in the film Braveheart that the two ethnicities are natural allies. Nowadays I alternate starting “Happy Hour” with Wolfhound Irish whiskey and Carlyle blended Scotch, proceeding in the former case to a single grain Scotch whisky, and in either case to a sequence of single malt Scotch whiskies. Please note that in Scotland the word is “whisky,” whereas in Ireland (and America) it’s “whiskey.” The spelling of it, of course, is always secondary to the drinking of it.

  3. David Watt

    C.B., I wasn’t familiar with amontillado, and therefore I looked it up.
    I now know that its complexity results from the fusion of two different ageing processes. Here you entertain with a well chosen fusion of humor and rhyme.

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      I’m not a big fan of sherry, David. In fact, many an expression of good Scotch whisky has been ruined by too much ageing in ex-sherry casks. This, of course, is a matter of opinion.

      Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      And of course, David, this refers to a rather famous short story by Poe titled “The Cask of Amontillado”.

      Reply
  4. Joseph S. Salemi

    “B.C./D.C.” is exactly the kind of poem that Hilaire Belloc would have written if he had been an American. It’s linguistically tight, and witty!

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      I know how you feel about Belloc, Joseph, and so I’m flattered by the comparison.

      Reply
  5. Jeff Eardley

    A most enjoyable duet. “BC /DC” is about as perfect a poem as you can get, and a great name for a rock tribute band. “Poe Cuisine” has me reaching for his work that I consumed voraciously in the 70’s. Great stuff for dark times. Thank you.

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      Dark times indeed, Jeff. I always like to start a new year off with a bit of levity. I hope it helps. I know very little about rock tribute bands, but AC/DC sounds more plausible.

      Reply
      • Julian D. Woodruff

        Sorry I’m a bit late to the table … uh, bar here, C.B. I’m in catch-up mode. The pun on “found” is clever indeed. The Roman reader probably would have preferred your concluding with the “latter,” their country’s namesake, but then they would also have preferred your lines in Latin.
        In line 6 of “Poe Cuisine” you permit yourself an extra syllable, which, given the strictness of meter everywhere else, stands out a bit. I guess you decided that dropping “And” in that line, or a similar approach, would violate the easy, natural flow of words?
        Anyway, both most enjoyable, even if your drink is Coke.

      • C.B. Anderson

        You got me, Julian. I didn’t notice, and if I had I would have done something about it. Perhaps the slip is a result of my “crossing the bar” one too many times.

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