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We appreciate your purchase of this version of the game
That caused Mr. Milton Bradley to become a household name.
Though we cannot laud the methods for his capital success,
We endorse Life, with some updates, which we here below address:
First, the game begins in grade school, not in college as before,
After which you spin the spinner for your Gaokao score.
If you spin a one through three, the game is over, sad to say;
You must drive straight to the Poor Farm while your peers proceed to play.
For the kids still in the running, may your bribing hands be deft:
Your career will be decided by the player to the Left.
The next step, of course, is marriage, over which you’ll have some choice.
Call your parents from the next room, and if they approve, rejoice,
Then begin to fill your car with little pegs of pink and blue,
But remember that the limit must be strictly capped at two.
As in previous editions, picking up Life Tiles is wise.
Now rewards will be more instant! See your Social Credit rise.
You can also penalize an infraction or mistake.
Use the camera in this box to patrol for goodness’ sake.
As you drive around the board, obey the rules of every space,
Being sure to stay together. (After all, life’s not a race.)
Count your money up and brace for this version’s biggest twist:
Millionaire Estates is chosen through a predetermined list.
We sincerely hope these changes will create more joy than strife.
Happy driving, Party style, and enjoy The Game of Life!

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Bethany Mootsey is a stay-at-home mom and foster mom living in Clearwater, Florida. She is a Covenant College graduate with publications in “Church Educator.”


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4 Responses

  1. Joseph S. Salemi

    This is the perfect game for The Communist Party of Red China to impose on all of its slave-subjects.

    “Social Credit” for thinking correctly, policing your speech, and being subservient! How in tune with the New-Silk-Road ideology, and the “Rising-Tide” racket.

    Reply
  2. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    A very clever concept, and to set the idea to poetry is admirable. Well done!

    Reply

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