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Haiku

A grounded sparrow
Wings hurt, head raised to the sky
“Is this how I die?”

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A Snowflake

From sky’s descent and earthward bound,
__A snowflake, small and bright;
It’s slow and steady, floating down,
Until he lands without a sound,
__And shrouds the dirt with white.

And there he lies in nightly gloom,
__Among such flakes alike;
Above, he sees bright specks that loom,
The shining stars, beyond the moon,
__Like lucent snow in flight.

With solemn gaze, in deepest thought,
__He questions winter’s call;
But in his mind, the answer sought,
Demure and grieved, he finds it naught,
__“To earth, why did I fall?”

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Jacky Pun is a classical dancer living in New York.


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12 Responses

  1. Paul Freeman

    ‘I could have been a contender’, from the point of view of a snowflake. This poem is crazily brilliant and somewhat melancholy.

    As for the sparrow; again, a poignant read, melancholic read.

    Thanks for chance to see your work, Jacky.

    Reply
  2. Allegra Silberstein

    Your poems touch the heart…thank you…

    Allegra

    Reply
  3. Ryan Watch

    What a delightful pair of snappy poems! The second poem in particular had my fingers tapping to the rhythmic (and almost danceable) meter.
    Again, in regards to your second poem, I also admire the way you juxtaposed the concepts of a falling snowflake with hints of existential thought which can be implied by the last five lines of the poem:
    With solemn gaze, in deepest thought,
    __He questions winter’s call;
    But in his mind, the answer sought,
    Demure and grieved, he finds it naught,
    __“To earth, why did I fall?”

    I like the subtle symbolism that you have added in your poems. It makes them all the more profound and poignant than simply pleasurable.

    To answer the question of the eponymous snowflake of your poem, I composed a few verses of my own in response.

    Among the freshly fallen snow,
    Winter puts all to right
    The snowflake laments soft and low,
    “Why did I fall to earth below?”
    “You’re meant to disappear in snow,
    To blanket earth in white.”

    Reply
  4. Gail

    Beautiful work–too sad to consume in large doses. I particularly enjoyed the likening of stars to lucent snow in flight. I’ll remember that from now on.

    Reply
  5. paul buchheit

    Jacky, ‘Snowflake’ conjures up some great imagery — and philosophy! Nicely done.

    Reply
  6. Joe Tessitore

    This is wonderful, wonderful poetry!

    Well done
    Jacky Pun!

    Reply
  7. Cynthia Erlandson

    I love your imagery that shows the reflection of the snowflakes on the ground, in the sky filled with stars!

    Reply
  8. C.B. Anderson

    Flair, without substance, is how I would describe these.

    Reply
    • Jacky Pun

      Please elaborate. I know this comment to be true. Pray, be frank.

      Reply
  9. Cheryl Corey

    What an interesting concept – to write from the perspective of the snowflake.

    Reply
  10. Jacky Pun

    Thank you all for reading. Thank you all for commenting. But I cannot receive these comments without first thanking my mentor Mr. Mantyk.

    Reply

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