Photo from the current Australian mice plague.A Poem on the Australian Mice Plague, by Norma Pain The Society June 3, 2021 Culture, Humor, Poetry 18 Comments . To the Residents Down Below I am a bookish kind of rat And like each rat before me, I’ve come to the conclusion that There’s few folks that adore me. Although I feel that this is wrong, I try to be pragmatic, I’d like us just to get along While we stay in your attic. “Why our roof?” We hear you cry, But would you wish us homeless? Its cozy warm and nice and dry And full of fine aromas. It’s not as if you use this space, We don’t deserve this stigma, We’ve yet to set eyes on your face, You’re truly an enigma. You never venture in the roof To pay a friendly visit. In fact we find you quite aloof, Which isn’t kind now is it? We all agree your attitude Is clearly symptomatic, And evidence of your bad mood Cause we live in your attic. We really need to get along And learn to live together. Forget the constant battle song And raise the pure white feather. Don’t shout and scream each time we crawl, Don’t act melodramatic, We hardly make a noise at all, On this we are emphatic. We’ll thank you not to make a fuss, Please grasp our situation. To you it’s dirty… but to us Its fine accommodation. Our children need a place to live, A place that’s free from harm, And though a trifle primitive, Your roof works like a charm. My family has one small request, And no… it’s not for flowers. We really need to get some rest, During daylight hours. We try to sleep… you move about, By day you should be static, Perhaps you could just move on out, This would be diplomatic. And then when nighttime shadows sweep And all is dark and still, You lie down and try to sleep, Of your own free will. Obviously, you must know That this gets problematic, At night we practice Tai-Kwon-Do And coitus in your attic. Go forth… go forth… and multiply! Is definitely our creed, So when our hunger you deny, For comfort we must breed. A little show of sympathy Would be so very kind, Especially since my family Is practically blind. You see we suffer greatly From a lack of good nutrition, While inappropriately You’re like pigs without remission. It is a situation that We’re finding quite traumatic, As you continue to get fat While we starve in the attic. It’s clear that our inherent Dispositions do not blend, Your species is aberrant And your habits do offend. We’re making no apology, We thought you’d be ecstatic, To have fine rodents such as we Residing in your attic. Perhaps you could live more like us And rest during the day, Completing chores at night and thus, Things might work out okay. And then some morsels left about, If you would be so kind. So we don’t have to go without, Thanks, from the undersigned. Rat . . Norma Pain was born in Liverpool, England and now lives in Parksville, British Columbia, Canada. Thirty of Norma’s poems were published by Dana Literary Society, between 2004 and 2007 and she was twice nominated for the Pushcart Prize by that same on-line poetry site. She self-published a book of rhyme in 2000 called Bulging Assets. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. NOTE TO POETS: The Society considers this page, where your poetry resides, to be your residence as well, where you may invite family, friends, and others to visit. Feel free to treat this page as your home and remove anyone here who disrespects you. Simply send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Put “Remove Comment” in the subject line and list which comments you would like removed. The Society does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or comments and reserves the right to remove any comments to maintain the decorum of this website and the integrity of the Society. Please see our Comments Policy here. CODEC News:Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 18 Responses Cheryl Corey June 3, 2021 Norma, this is a riot! Reply Norma Pain June 4, 2021 Thank you Cheryl. Glad you enjoyed it. Reply Yael June 3, 2021 This is adorable and hilarious at the same time. I’m not sure I would find it quite so entertaining if I had a thousand rodents running circles around me where I’m sitting, but I’m not experiencing this particular problem in my locale, so I’m free to enjoy your poem. The quirky, mousy rhymes are too funny! Reply Norma Pain June 4, 2021 Thank you Yael. We have had experience with rats in a previous dwelling, and I am terrified of them. Attacking my fear with humour didn’t help. I am hyper-vigilant to any scratching noises. Reply Paul Freeman June 3, 2021 Humour can be difficult to convey, but you did so with jaunty meter and perfect rhyme. If there’s such a thing as method poetry, you nailed it. Out vile humans, Mr Rat deserves a place to stay. So off you go (and take the cat), you’ve till the end of day. Reply Norma Pain June 4, 2021 Thank you Paul. You wrote succinctly in four lines, what took me eleven stanzas to say. Loved it. Reply Gail June 3, 2021 This would be a great text to illustrate. Very enjoyable! Reply Norma Pain June 4, 2021 Thank you for your comments Gail. Reply Mo June 3, 2021 Awww…reminds me of Burn’s “To A Mouse.” Sweet… Reply Norma Pain June 4, 2021 Thank you Mo for the compliment. Reply Jeff Eardley June 4, 2021 Norma, like your amazing “Magic Machine” this is yet another potential best-selling children’s story. You have a rare talent with words and imagery and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. From this side of the pond, thank you so much. Reply Norma Pain June 4, 2021 Thank you for your comments Jeff. They are very much appreciated. Reply paul buchheit June 4, 2021 Very clever, Norma. Fun to read. Reply Norma Pain June 5, 2021 Thank you Paul. Glad you enjoyed it. Reply C.B. Anderson June 4, 2021 Makes me wonder … Do mice grow up to be rats? Reply Norma Pain June 5, 2021 C.B., a mouse makes me squeal… a rat makes me scream, and a million or so of either would give me a heart attack. Reply C.B. Anderson June 5, 2021 Get a couple of good cats! Reply Norma Pain June 6, 2021 I would if I wasn’t an avid bird lover. Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.