. It was only a two stone cat, Now what do you think about that? If it sat on your lap, Both your femurs would snap. It was twenty-eight pounds of pure fat. Its owners would feed it on fish, Which they placed every day in its dish. Where it scoffed up the lot, And then sat on its spot, “Can I have some more food please,” it hissed. It gave them those big droopy eyes, Which caused both its owners to sigh. So, they headed on down, To the Petco in town, And came back with a stack of cow pies. And so, every day about three, They gave him a pie for his tea. It worked for a while, As they started to smile, They thought they had cured him you see. But the cat’s hunger pangs wouldn’t cease, Its owners denied any peace. He weighed ninety-two pounds, When the Vet called around, And informed them their cat was obese. He said, “I’d best look after him,” So, he took him along to the gym. Where he sharpened his claws, On the parallel bars, In a couple of weeks, he was slim. So, if you’ve a cat, then beware, When feeding it, take extra care, Or for certain you’ll get, Deep in debt with the Vet, And I’m sure you don’t want to go there. . . Jeff Eardley lives in the heart of England near to the Peak District National Park and is a local musician playing guitar, mandolin and piano steeped in the music of America, including the likes of Ry Cooder, Paul Simon, and particularly Hank Williams.